How do I actually "not give a shit"?

SPIDERMAAAN · 2014-05-06T09:06:20+00:00

It really just comes down to developing a stable personality. If you haven't quite made it there after what you have currently read, dig into some of Seddit's numerous inner game posts.

The basis of not giving a shit in terms of rejection revolves around outcome independence. The idea here is that you handle both acceptance and rejection with the same mindframe. How you go about learning and incorporating this is up to you, but if you're interested I could give you some detailed pointers.

Here are a few questions for you: are you approaching only girls you find attractive? Are you approaching girls every day? How do you fare in a wide social environment such as a classroom or office? What do you think is causing your AA? Would you consider yourself reasonably charismatic? How do you personally define what caring too much is?

I don't want to run on too much but I'd be glad to toss you a couple more ideas if you are interested.

TL;DR: Read about inner game, specifically outcome independence.

jimmyayo · 2014-05-06T11:22:42+00:00

There's an entire subreddit for just this.

http://www.reddit.com/r/howtonotgiveafuck

_grim · 2014-05-06T16:36:18+00:00

The phrases "I don't give a shit" and "I don't give a fuck" are problematic.

a) The phrases don't state what they are trying to really trying to convey. b) They're often chanted as a mantra by people who trying to prove to the world that they don't care as much as they really do.

The heart of the matter isn't that you shouldn't care. Its ok to give a shit. The real issue is focusing on the right things to care about with the right priority.

They need to live up to your standards and not the other way around. At the end of the day, you have to be the one that accounts for your own actions and look in the mirror at yourself in the morning, not them.

No one is going to care about your own happiness as much as you do. Caring about your own happiness doesn't make you selfish, it makes you responsible and accountable for taking control over the only thing that you have any real control of in this world, yourself.

If someone overacts to a genuine compliment, do you really want that kind of person in your life? Is that person really worth your time? Do you really want to put up with that kind of baggage?

The obvious answer is "No", and yet you're placing more value on their opinions of you, than your own opinion of yourself. That doesn't make any sense.

When you care more about other's opinions than your own opinions, then you don't respect yourself enough. If you can't respect yourself enough, how can anyone else?

DrewCruise · 2014-05-06T18:51:07+00:00

I had friends of mine who were naturals and they always told me, just act like you don't give a FCK. I could not understand their advice at that time. My ego and low self esteem would not allow me to. Now I have learned that to not give a F really just means respect yourself, don't be outcome dependent, and remain congruent with yourself speaking and acing in ways that reflect your core beliefs. Do not worry about how others feel about you. Find your own inner peace.

Tactically, from your situation, when she got mad and in your face, at that moment you could have just smiled and said, "You're cute when your angry." Then immediately move on to another topic of conversation. Also, stop thinking about rejections, just delete those feelings from your psyche. Rejections are not a devaluation of you as a person.

Zack_Fair_ · 2014-05-06T10:25:21+00:00

you have to realise that as long as you aren't breaking any laws or stepping out of the realm of normal human beings with your behaviour , you're not doing anything wrong and therefore shouldn't give a shit. it's all down to experience. try "exposure therapy" ; think of a couple of actions or activities you would normally give massive amounts of shit about and just fucking do them. ( you may have to start small depending on your level of self-consciousness ) . giving shits boils down to caring what other people think about you. you stop doing that, you stop giving shits.

DafarheezyRises · 2014-05-06T13:43:37+00:00

Convince yourself that no matter what happens, it's fucking OK

HilltopHood · 2014-05-06T23:21:21+00:00

[permanently deleted]

sykilik101 · 2014-05-07T21:58:06+00:00

For me, whether I "give a shit" about something is determined by how relevant this something is to my goals.

Example: I'm going to a Comicon next month, and my goal there is to have fun, play some games, meet up with Con friends, and just overall have a blast. Granted, there will be tons of girls there (say what you will about Con girls, but I'm a sucker for nerdy types), and I'll be inclined to flirt with a few of them, but even if I get rejected/shot down by every single girl I approach, I'm not gonna be bummed because my original goal is still intact.

In this way, I rarely try to make hooking up or something similar a goal. Any time I do, I feel like I end up trying too hard, or if I don't succeed, I end up upset at myself, which isn't cool beans. Plus, it's somewhat common knowledge in this subreddit that due to some magical force, when you care less about impressing/picking up a girl, girls seems to be more attracted to you. Most people call it outcome independence. I just call it "stick to your goals."

Title	How do I actually "not give a shit"?
Author	lovdisc
Upvotes	4
Comments	9
Date	May 6, 2014 8:17 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/24ukl1/how_do_i_actually_not_give_a_shit/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-actually-not-give-a-shit.1370360 https://theredarchive.com/post/1370360

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