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[–]Woujo 11 points12 points13 points 9 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link
How do i escalate online?
You. Cannot. Escalate. Online.
You. Must. Do. It. In. Person.
In fact, you should not even be chatting online with girls. That's a waste of your time and is unattractive to girls.
Anybody who gives you an answer to this question shouldn't be answering questions on this sub.
[–]Fkeu 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Finally someone gives actual advice. I freaking hate these subs like "Oh yeah just do this online it works!"
Yeah... then when you finally meet up there's either the "Oh I was thinking you'd be different" moment or just thr incredibly awkward, easier talking online, problems.
[–]Quixotic_rage 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
By escalate i mean getting to the point where we meet in person. But are you saying that i shouldnt even try online dating?
[–]Woujo 4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ok that's not normally what we mean by escalating. There are lots of guides online for talking to a girl.
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
By escalate i mean getting to the point where we meet in person.
Escalation means this.
[–]kalolilo 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link
This is just false.
There are so many examples of guys escalating online and it's not even that hard. This guy for instance has numerous examples where he even escalates all the way, from Tinder match to sex, all online.
https://www.playingfire.com/how-to-message-on-tinder-part-2/
So how can you say that you cannot escalate online? So untrue.
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
First off, no one has sex online. Unless it's some cyber-sex nonsense. Sex is in person.
Now you can have a playful or hot interaction online, sure. But the only thing you can technically get online is an agreement to meet up and see what happens. People can and do change their mind all the time after they meet someone in person. I certainly have. Especially after I find out that a girl has misrepresented their appearance online. :P But either side may find out that there's no chemistry in person.
Because by definition, escalation is in person. You literally can't escalate without touch.
[–]kalolilo 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
So you were assuming that I thought you can escalate physically via text? I don't think I have to explain to you that there is verbal escalation and physical escalation.
u/Woujo was saying that you just cannot. escalate. online. This statement is simply false. You can escalate via text very well, making her wet and her not stopping to think about you, all via text only. Hence, the statement that you cannot escalate online is just false and very misleading.
It gives guys the impression that it is impossible to build any attraction via text and leads them to not learn text game and gives them a very high flake rate, because if you can't even have a small and fun text conversation with a girl, she will be very reserved with meeting you.
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
So you were assuming that I thought you can escalate physically via text?
Definitely did not. I really should have clarified that I didn't really think that was your position.
I don't think I have to explain to you that there is verbal escalation and physical escalation.
That said, it does become confusing to use the phrase "verbal escalation" to refer to the normal flow of getting to know someone before the physical stuff starts to go down (physical escalation).
This statement is simply false. You can escalate via text very well, making her wet and her not stopping to think about you, all via text only.
The problem is, this isn't really something that someone is doing to the girl. Without direct contact, way more of any "attraction" is determined by the girl and how much she chooses to create a fantasy in her own mind about what the guy is like. That's why things can go so well, or go south so quickly, when guys try to "escalate" over text.
So while it's "possible," it's not very practical to bother with much texting besides setting up the in-person meetings that one can more easily have influence over.
[–]kalolilo 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
If you have good in-person game already, it is VERY practical to bother with learning texting, because the buying temperature is very high then when meeting her in person, so it's pretty hard to screw it up.
If your in person game is bad, then there is no harm learning text game and in person game at the same time, since both have a big overlap. In mathematical terms, text game is a subset of around 70% of in person game, such as being fun, teasing, normal, non-needy, assertive and bossy for fun, power dynamics, brevity, frame, calibration, escalation.
If you have learned text game already, some things left to learn are eye contact, body language, tone, kino, but with good text game you get a lot of practice, since you can meet a lot of girls.
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If you have good in-person game already, it is VERY practical to bother with learning texting....
It's still an extra thing. So much of text communication is out of your hands. All the ways that different things can be interpreted. With so many factors out of our control, it's not so much practical, as it is about the fun in gambling with it.
because the buying temperature is very high then when meeting her in person, so it's pretty hard to screw it up.
A couple assumptions here that I disagree with.
The assumption that any guy is necessarily completely sold on a girl, just because he agrees to meet her. Or vice versa.
The assumption that it's only for the guy to screw up, or that screwing up is involved at all, if it doesn't work out.
The assumption that her agreement to meet means that she won't decide she's turned off when she meets a guy. Or vice versa.
Sometimes the chemistry is just not there and that's no one's fault.
Hell, I've set up meets with girls who played tricks with their photos and were only vaguely like their pics. Or they used really old pics. (Which is why meeting for drinks is a safe way to start. :P )
If your in person game is bad, then there is no harm learning text game and in person game at the same time, since both have a big overlap.
I don't know about "big," but I'll go ahead and agree that there's some overlap.
[–]kalolilo 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I never assumed any of the 3 points you mentioned. They can still happen, but they will happen much more rarely as if the buying temperature is normal, which is the case if she hasn't seen you for several days.
All in all, if you don't have good text game, you will only be able to meet girls that are already into you.
If you have good text game, you will be able to also meet the girls that were neutral or not so much into you, because you can build A LOT of attraction through text, no?
[–]tony18215 -1 points0 points1 point 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Your right to an extent.Alot of girls online get alot of guys hitting on them and sending them nudes.It gets old to them and they can care less about that stuff.Once you meet them you can get physical and intimate,but You can set the stage and escalate online kinda.You can be like lets meet up ,but Im gonna be nervous af meeting you cuz ur so sexy.If she gives you a neutral/positve response and feels comfortable.Then after be like I cant wait till I see you so I can grab that ass and kiss you all over sexy.online can help set up sex once you meet
[–]Woujo 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
You can be like lets meet up ,but Im gonna be nervous af meeting you cuz ur so sexy.
No! Don't ever say that. That's the saddest, most low-confidence thing I've ever read in my life.
Then after be like I cant wait till I see you so I can grab that ass and kiss you all over sexy.
Don't say that either. Jesus Christ, where are you guys learning this shit??
No you are totally wrong.
[–]tony18215 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Thats how I do it and it works alot.I say Im nervous but im really not...Im saying it to make them feel beautiful and sexy about them self.Also some girls like you telling them how bad you want them ,because it boosts their self esteem and turns them on.ALot of girls have low self esteem even cute ones..so i exploit it
[–]Woujo 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thats how I do it and it works alot.
I don't believe you. Saying this type of shit to girls online probably works very rarely unless they are very desperate or unless you are super good looking.
[–]tony18215 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I say it ,once we are comfortable and planning a date to meet.I dont say it in the beginning,because thats creepy.It works as long as you are average looking and the girl is interested.Ive said worse on tinder and most didnt mind...Ive even told girls after we started talking for a few minutes that I liked there ass and they turned me on. They were like oh really and put a smirk face.You gotta know the girl a little kinda..If shes chill then she wont mind...If the girl is in college then they are lil kinky and used to guys telling them naughty stuff.You just gotta ride the vibe and take your shot at the right moment
[–]anon1moos 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"do you want to grab a drink at ____ on ___"
just throw it in whenever
[–]JaggedYellowPill 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Insert some vague innuendo or a double entendre and see how she reacts. If she reacts positively, gradually escalate. Then ask.
[–]42656570426f6f 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Simplest answer is to ask a few get to know you questions, then move toward leading questions. When I am ready (and she seems ready) to discuss date locations, I'll ask a leading question like "Have you done anything fun lately". I'll take her answer and spin that into a date suggestion. For most women I reach this point within 10 - 15 messages. If the woman is really enthusiastic, maybe in 3 - 5 messages. If she is trying to ask you a million questions, maybe I wait a few days (the other examples hopefully occur within the same day).
[–]sergeant_flem 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Keep conversation through online/texting to a minimum, set an in person date as soon as possible. The real escalation happens in person
[–]whatsupdac 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"Well you don't sound like serial killer, how about a drink on Tuesday?
[–]MonkeyFist4150 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Bring up something like an upcoming concert, or a really good restaurant, see what her opinion is on it, then you can segue into "we should go to it" or "lets do dinner there".
[–]gtr_geek 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Christian Grey has a pretty good article on the subject. Part 3 is pretty much answering your question:
http://www.christiangreypua.com/basics-of-online-game-part-three
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[–]Woujo 11 points12 points13 points (17 children) | Copy Link
[–]Fkeu 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Quixotic_rage 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Woujo 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]kalolilo 1 point2 points3 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]kalolilo 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]kalolilo 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]kalolilo 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]tony18215 -1 points0 points1 point (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Woujo 2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]tony18215 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Woujo 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]tony18215 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]anon1moos 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]JaggedYellowPill 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]42656570426f6f 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sergeant_flem 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]whatsupdac 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MonkeyFist4150 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]gtr_geek 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link