How do I stop being a nice guy?

smoothmax · 2020-03-23T02:54:24+00:00

If you think you have Nice Guy syndrome try reading the book No More Mr Nice Guy by Robert Glover. If you have self esteem issues try The Six Pillars of Self Esteem.

jazilli · 2020-03-23T02:55:38+00:00

I think the problem with nice guys is they want to impress women (especially women they just met) when they shouldn't. Why try to show her you're awesome and great, you already kno that. Find out if she is

2020-03-23T06:08:31+00:00

Main thing is to be assertive. A lot of ‘bad boys’ come with some issues, and can be very narcissistic, insecure and childish. Yes they are impulsive, which may entertain a woman for a week or two but it won’t last, she will get tired.

Best thing to do is to stick to your values, be nice, polite and genuine. Woman seem to sense this and love it. Your perception of nice guy is not actually just a nice guy, he’s a push over. just assert yourself more, don’t try and prove yourself...just do you

EDIT: you want to stand out from the others, I fail to conform with a lot of recent trends etc but many times I have been told that it’s what they liked about me. People all my life advised me to ‘be myself’, it wasn’t until a year or so ago I realised what that actually meant and how much it works. Don’t try to be something your not, by all means improve, but don’t change. Be you.

Dolokhov88 · 2020-03-23T12:47:18+00:00

Geez, you're doing great. Just avoid the friendzone and be a bit more upfront with girls. If you want to go big, just follow this sub for a while. If you wanna feel wanted, go to asia for a while^^

r0b41 · 2020-03-23T14:14:27+00:00

My advice would be

-dont be desperate Girls smell that from miles away

-work out

-never forget that girls WANT sex missed many opportunities because I thought "she just wants to be friends"

-be direct ask early if she wants to meet/come over when there is a vibe

6ixFlip · 2020-03-23T02:05:24+00:00

Take some "red pills".

allritekite · 2020-03-23T04:31:30+00:00

Its not that theres anything wrong with being a "nice" guy, the issue is more that you can't be subservient and overly wimpy.

aubounty · 2020-03-23T09:48:44+00:00

Didn't read the paragraph but to answer your question, just understand that: every time you choose to be the nice guy, you only hurt yourself.

If you continue to repeatedly make the same mistake and hurt yourself, that's just not respecting yourself at all.

Ligottis_Unborn · 2020-03-23T04:59:57+00:00

I suggest you find something you're passionate about that is not women, and devoting your life to it. Women will disappoint you in one way or another. Not having any women in your life and having them in your both have their pros and cons. I honestly don't think that having girls is better than not having girls. The negative things that come with having girls in your life are not worth the good things, but that's just my opinion.

Altvr · 2020-03-23T13:59:44+00:00

Reading your post, it doesn’t seem like a case of Nice Guy Syndrome, moreso you’re just dating bad women. It sucks that you had to end the relationship with the older woman but that’s life for you. People come and go and there’s nothing you can do to change that. What you can change, however, is your perspective on the situation. Accept the fact that most of the women you’ve dated in the past weren’t favorable options and that you deserve better for yourself. Also reviewing your post, it doesn’t seem like you have a difficult time letting women go who didn’t fit well into your program. This is useful in the sense that it’s quicker for you to move on and find someone you CAN have a good relationship with WITHOUT all of the drama. Hope this helps! Let me know if there’s anything you need me to clarify and I will be happy to further elaborate :)

Woujo · 2020-03-23T13:39:32+00:00

You just don't do anything for people, including women, until they have done something for you. It's easier said than done, but that's basically it. You doing things for people should be a way of saying "thank you" rather than "please, I want something."

MrMemper · 2020-03-23T17:38:50+00:00

In short, you give a shit too much about what other people think of you. This has a lot to do with what you think of yourself, not knowing who you are and what you stand for and relying on the voices and perceptions of those outside of yourself for reassurance. Fuck your feelings. You have some internal work to do an no amount of online forum, video or book will get you there.

That said, the only book I’d recommend is No More Mr Nice Guy. But that’s it. Read that, unplug and get to work on knowing who you are by asking only yourself. Write if you must.

TwilightWolfV · 2020-03-24T03:30:48+00:00

All of my problems with “nice guys” could be boiled down to that binary (“nice” people vs others). Categorizing people into groups like that warps your self-perception. You automatically want to think of yourself as a good person, which can lead to some people unconsciously ignoring actions or decisions that would contradict that perception. And that’s before you start thinking about the way some people think “nice” people “deserve” nice things, including relationships.

Just be yourself, quit thinking about it in terms of being a good guy or a bad guy. Everyone does good and bad things, including the people you’re dating. Compatibility will come from your base personality.

Of course, this is just my experience. I’ve had far fewer interactions with “nice” guys than others.

_H4t3_4m3ric4_ · 2020-03-24T10:08:08+00:00

I want to add something to save you time and dissapointmets, if you want to stop being a good guy, DON'T BECOME A DICK. Try to find the balance between a good guy and a bad guy, be an assertive guy. I went through both phases and none of them is actually beneficial.

Title	How do I stop being a nice guy?
Author	TheycallhimRyan
Upvotes	11
Comments	26
Date	March 23, 2020 2:01 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/fnbxhl/how_do_i_stop_being_a_nice_guy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-stop-being-a-nice-guy.1492849 https://theredarchive.com/post/1492849

Comments