How do I stop getting attached so quickly?

ethical_pa · 2018-09-14T18:31:04+00:00

Start approaching lots of girls. Gain the skills to talk to women easily. Start shifting your mindset from scarcity to abundance. These are ordered steps. So you know where to begin...

caesarfecit · 2018-09-14T19:31:12+00:00

Ration your "shits to give". Don't give them out to people who haven't earned them.
Add to this learning to maintain some detachment. Shit tests are easy to navigate so long as you maintain some perspective and distance. It's when you're wrapped up in the interaction and trying to anticipate that you get thrown.
Go to the root of the problem(s)- learn mindfulness, gain control over and channel your sex drive so it can't be used against you, clean your room, and otherwise do what it takes to find some pride and self-esteem.
Find your purpose, so women or a woman does not become your purpose.
At this point you should have developed some outcome independence. Now just keep it up. Stay vigilant and keep grinding.

functionalsociopathy · 2018-09-14T20:21:48+00:00

This is one of the more difficult mental blocks to get over. The problem is that you value their acceptance too much. Approaching lots of women can help with this, and having female friends is also very helpful for this. The key is to value a potential partner's opinion of you slightly less than you would value a friend's opinion. If they don't like you it's not a failure, it's not even a setback, it's just someone not worth sinking more time into.

Evan87688 · 2018-09-14T21:26:06+00:00

3 months. damn dude. Add more girls in ur life.

Start making friends with all of them. Be more outgoing. Be around women more. The more women you meet, the less attached you will get to one.

Jacob_961 · 2018-09-15T02:47:23+00:00

Delay your attachment after sex, not before. It's a step forward. There is a hole in you that you are trying to fill. That hole creates a vacuum effect and you attach yourself to anything that has the potential to make you "whole" again. Work on yourself and grind hard, it takes the pressure off. The girl should always be priority #2. Priority #1 is whatever adds real value to your life like working on your career, going to the gym, etc...

recyclablebanthas · 2018-09-15T08:02:17+00:00

1

I keep getting attached to women very quickly, and get disappointed if she’s already taken or uninterested in me.

I mean, sooner or later, you have to start attacking this tendency you're talking about here, that you get wrapped up in the girl soon after you meet her. That means that you're allowing thought patterns to circulate in your head about you and her, and that leads to things being built up in your head.

If you can't nip it in the bud when those thoughts start circulating at first, then it's going to happen again and again.

Somehow you have to emphasis the futility of imagining whatever it is you're imagining with these girls, before you actually know them. You're wasting time getting attached to a figment of your imagination and then you find it reality is different and you're crushed.

What should be happening is that you find out who they are and it's like, huh, okay. Next. Not all this emotional running around like headless chicken.

2

I guess I just want a girl to date/sleep with since most of my ex girlfriends are dating other guys.

Yeah, this is a tough one. Couple things that help with this:

Emotional intelligence: You have to do the work to remind yourself that a break-up isn't really a loss. It's a gain. Break-ups happen because it wasn't working, so much so that being apart was better. Even if you weren't the one who made the decision, this truth doesn't change. So these exes dating other guys, shouldn't matter.
Have your own social life in order. You ought to have a healthy social life where you're around a strong core of friends, and also exposed to a decent amount of new people all the time.

If you have these things for yourself, it's far easier to deal with exes moving on, because you're moving on, too.

K3wp · 2018-09-16T20:04:49+00:00

Think of it like a challenge.

You are going to connect emotionally with every attractive woman you meet.

That is step 1.

Step 2 is you are going to maintain emotional independence from her. You are not going to be dependent on her attention to feel good about herself.

I know this isn't easy, btw. I fail at step 2 when the girl is AAA at times.

cryptiiix · 2018-09-14T23:56:27+00:00

So I used to have this problem, and then I stopped caring. Now I have the opposite problem. How do I care about a girl now?

ThaGod420 · 2018-09-15T00:07:24+00:00

Keep your options open

WhereTruthLies · 2018-09-15T08:38:31+00:00

Become so narcissistic like me that nobody else besides your self even registers as someone who could even possibly matter to you

not_really_neutral · 2018-09-15T01:32:07+00:00

Be aloof. Take a female freind to the bar with you. The more they see you as confident and with a girl, the more your status will go up. If your friend is really your friend she'll tell you who is going to hit on you when she goes to the bathroom. Worked countless times!

Get a written, we're fucking, note from the chosen to prevent you from any regret on her part, or video the encounter. (these are the times we live in)

Title	How do I stop getting attached so quickly?
Author	MassiveLobster
Upvotes	23
Comments	21
Date	September 14, 2018 6:23 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/9fugeu/how_do_i_stop_getting_attached_so_quickly/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-stop-getting-attached-so-quickly.1453340 https://theredarchive.com/post/1453340

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