How do I stop thinking negatively all the time?

hunter32tz · 2018-05-13T21:02:47+00:00

Do you go to the gym?

Hitting the weights is a HUGE confidence booster. It builds you mentally and physically.

My_Crypto_Tracker · 2018-05-13T23:04:28+00:00

I have the same problem. Getting women seems to come naturally to those who either,

1) have other areas of their life that are fulfilled and therefore do not experience the neediness or

2) are too emotionally unintelligent to realize how lonely they are. Ignorance is bliss.

What I've noticed is that success with getting women, for a perfectionist, is truly random; it's more likely if you have a large sample size of people in your life and are constantly meeting new ones. This requires LETTING GO of some of them. Seems like we have to just dive into the swimming pool of social interaction by doing things that require contact with other people to succeed. Such things are volunteering, team sports, and organizations dedicated to a cause.

Edit: removed some bad advice.

Realizing that people are people just like you and just soaking in their humanity is a good way to feel closer to people, and being completely honest about your own humanity is a great signal for others to let their guards down and all them to interact with you on a more down to earth level.

This method has its dangers, however. Being completely honest about your humanity requires that you accept your humanity and... while talking about accepting your imperfections is an easy concept to think about, it is brutally hard to put into practice. It means that if someone were to ask you HARD personal questions about the inner-workings of your soul you could answer them with acceptance. The fact that you are aware and are trying is the best you will be able to latch on to, and will allow you to have the confidence to approach people without reservation.

I used to hate it when people said you have to love yourself before you love others. Always thought that was kind of selfish. But really what it's about is not berating yourself existentially for failure - to go from failure to failure without a lack of enthusiasm because you know your heart is in the right place,

bear_sees_the_car · 2018-05-14T02:56:15+00:00

I think you should give your full attention to studying, this way you will feel you deserve the result it produces.

Also, gym. Endorphins make wonders.

Before getting a relationship with a woman, you should sort out your relationship with yourself. Maybe, try therapy?

What helped me, is realizing doing 110% gave me worse incomes, than doing 50%, because my attachment to getting a good result was so strong, I always felt miserable, when I didn't get it. When you almost do not care, you tend to pleasantly surprise yourself with a good result.

I am a huge perfectionist, but seeing years after years my desire to do things flawlessly took actually robbed me of my life... there will never be a perfect moment or outcome. While you think about how things can be, things fall into place by themselves, and you end up losing an opportunity, a chance, a good thing you never experienced, because you thought about it more, than learned about it first hand.

I do not remember the actual quote I wound somewhere there, that helped me, but statistically we imagine "how could have been" longer, that the actual relationship takes place in our lives.

piperson · 2018-05-14T10:14:22+00:00

You are addicted to perfectionism. It's a really annoying trait to have because nothing that you or anyone around you can ever reach it. People with perfectionism will usually put themselves on a pedestal, looking down their noses at everyone and everything and just when it's time for you to put your words where your mouth is, you get completely insecure because even you can't live up to your standards. I have many perfectionist friends that are alcoholics. They are quiet and reserved usually but when they get drunk, a monster comes out, which is probably the result of all that built up tension from judging everyone and everything all the time.

You need to stop thinking so much. Stop judging everything. "Best" is relative. There really is no such thing as better because it's an artificial construct. It's all relative. A new born doesn't see "better" in the world. Everything is fresh, new and stimulating to them. As we get older physically, it's really important to get younger mentally. We need to simplify our inner world. Stop all the mind activity. Settle down into the everyday activity of living life.

From the perspective of seduction, it's important to put yourself out there, in a carefree way. Stop chasing that one, unreachable girl. Go out there to have fun and socialize, and not just with the hot girls but with everyone. Be a social butterfly. Meet everybody. Young, old, hot, not, boy, girl. Just be social and stop over thinking and judging all the time. This way, when a hot girl does come into your field, you are in a habit of being relaxed and easy to be around so that she will not only not feel awkward around you, she will actually enjoy your company.

A cute girl once told me that I am charismatic. I told her that it wasn't an accident. I've put in a lot of hours learning how to interact with people. It's mostly about getting out of your own way. Stop over thinking. Stop over acting. Stop complaining. Just be relaxed, open and positive, accepting and working with whatever comes your way.

I would recommend hanging out at a Starbucks on a regular basis, with the aim to make small talk with at least one person before you go. This is the kind of skill you need to pick up girls. Practice on anyone and everyone. You will soon pick up the skill and be able to engage anyone, even a hot girl, in no time. It's all about getting out of your way. Stop thinking about yourself so much. Just be open and pleasant.

FlakeyGhost · 2018-05-14T03:17:55+00:00

When I was in psych classes we read studies that stated significant efficacy for actively thinking 5 positive thoughts for each negative thought.

Llleblanc1986 · 2018-05-13T22:08:44+00:00

Pump some affirmations in the mirror. Positive affirmations

Vanquil · 2018-05-13T23:09:14+00:00

I'll say you should be quite the catch. If you aren't going to the gym that's your problem. If you are and have a fairly good physique look up videos or tutorial on boosting your day to day confidence.

JamesJustScoredAgain · 2018-05-14T00:55:53+00:00

Say these words everyday.

I'm happy. I'm confident. I love myself.

intercitty · 2018-05-14T05:32:32+00:00

Heavy cardio. Bike up a hill blasting some epic music. You wont have time to think about anything and that clear oxygen rich blood will keep that feeling going

GuyFromDaStore · 2018-05-13T23:22:00+00:00

Mind and body are linked, hit the gym.

Title	How do I stop thinking negatively all the time?
Author	sedditnewbi3
Upvotes	3
Comments	11
Date	May 13, 2018 8:52 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8j6vmi/how_do_i_stop_thinking_negatively_all_the_time/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-stop-thinking-negatively-all-the-time.1446527 https://theredarchive.com/post/1446527

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