How do you avoid akwardness when meeting girls?

WellEvan · 2020-05-17T17:41:32+00:00

Awkwardness is entirely in the mind of the beholder.

Im not sure how to explain this one out but its all in your head. Confidence is key.

wakiBlaster · 2020-05-18T02:28:12+00:00

Just internalize the fact that girls are HUMANS just like us dudes. We’ve been conditioned by tv shows and movies to think girls are these all powerful goddesses that are perfect in every way and only like the hottest, most jacked, most sauve dude. In reality they’re just like us, insecurities and fears. Realize you’re just two humans talking, and everything seems to get easier. Again this is harder in practice but all it takes is work. Cheers!

Seashantyboi · 2020-05-17T17:42:24+00:00

Pull a pro gamer move and be yourself, confidence is good but also just don’t put up a fake persona. And try to use humor as much as you can to break the ice, as soon as you do the rest is a breeze cause you’ll be more relaxed after you both laugh. Best of luck.

TANKER_06 · 2020-05-18T06:42:20+00:00

Most of the time, the awkwardness stems from the anxiety of outcome ("I hope she likes me!") and anxiety of making mistakes ("I hope I don't say the wrong thing!"). But, you will first need to identify where these anxieties are coming from before you can fix them.

The Anxiety of Outcome

Simply put, don't think of the outcome.

I know, it's a concept hard to grab and is akin to telling a recruit to "have no fear" when he is out on the battlefield, bullets whizzing past his head and explosions all around him.

I just focus on the present. The music of the club, the coffee at the cafe, the food at the restaurant... you get what I mean. It just so happens to be a beautiful girl there, why not just talk to her about the place. Maybe find out more about her, maybe we might have something in common? And I go from there.

You see, I'm not at that location she's at for her, I'm there for me. Once your approach and conversation are all about her, it just ends quickly.

The Anxiety of Mistakes

Know that everyone makes mistakes, and mistakes can usually be recovered from. So own your mistakes.

Don't be afraid to screw up, we all have, sometimes quite badly, but it doesn't take much to recover from most. Do you know what's worse than screwing up? Not doing anything at all. Instead of getting rejected and learning, nothing happened in the first place, and you lost a valuable lesson. Or a fun night in bed, or a potential girlfriend.

Building Confidence

So, how do you build confidence in yourself?

Look in the mirror

You need to accept who you are. You may have a bigger nose, crooked teeth, maybe acne at a really weird spot. Maybe you're plump or have a slightly disproportionate body. But also, try to identify what is good about you. Maybe you have a great head of hair, nice broad shoulders, and so on.

Once you can accept yourself, see how you can improve yourself. I'm not one to condone invasive aesthetic surgery, don't do that. Instead, fix what you can fix. Overweight? Start exercising. Have a bad acne problem? Look into controlling it.

What you want to do is to put the effort into looking the best you can be. People will notice, and it speaks about your personality.

Get a nice haircut and get clothes that fit you and highlight your strengths. These are also great confidence boosters.

Practice Your Social Skills

How many social circles are you in that you meet up with at least weekly, work/school aside? Try to expend the number of circles you're in so that you're meeting up with different people at least twice a week. The more people you talk to, men or women, the more you will learn about social skills, and how to use them to your advantage.

Talking to someone isn't just a long Q&A session. Learn about the subtleties of communication, like how and when to deliver what you intend, the tone, cadence and inflection of your voice and so on.

It will also increase your knowledge. From hobby to general circles, talking to people is an exchange of information, which also means you have an additional topic to talk about when you approach a girl. Don't go hobby collecting of course, as it can potentially get too expensive and time-consuming, but if you have none, pick out one or two that interests you and gives you plenty of opportunities to meet up with others.

From there, start approaching women, remember the above, and keep at it. You will fail, maybe even a good number of times, but keep at it and keep learning!

Lovehardt · 2020-05-17T19:38:56+00:00

I would just say not to overthink it. A lot of people think that silence is awkward. This is not it.

What’s awkward is trying to fill that silence with conversation/questions you don’t care about. Don’t keep saying the things that first come to mind, but the ones that come first to heart. This is what people hate about some conversations: they feel like they’re being interviewed. I know someone isn’t interested in what I have to say when they don’t build on my previous point and instead ask a series of questions unrelated to the last.

revente · 2020-05-18T00:31:32+00:00

Experience is the key. Both successes and rejections help you build your confidence.

That being said some awkwardness is fine. When you start talking to a girl just stick to it, even if you feel weird or anxious and you will be fine.

cardkid1234 · 2020-05-18T01:27:58+00:00

Awkwardness in this situation is usually the result of some insecurity regarding your image. The insecurity can be a physical thing, or a mental thing regarding your personality. We think that they notice a flaw about us, which causes us to concentrate on that specific thing about ourselves, instead of the girl. The result is usually doing the exact opposite and embellishing this personality or physical flaw enough to draw attention to it and drive the person away. And this is some sick way which we confirm these false beliefs to ourselves. We confirm our imperfections by embellishing them during these bouts of awkwardness anxiety.

It’s worth noting this person is almost never focusing on the things we think they are. By thinking in this manner we become self conscious. There’s enough self conscious guys out there already. This woman just wants a guy who’s worried about her for a change.

masterprocrast99 · 2020-05-18T02:44:43+00:00

[permanently deleted]

FalconVita · 2020-05-18T08:46:05+00:00

Always remember that the pressure is on the girl. "Is my make-up and lipstick too much?" "Does this dress fit me well?" These are inside the girl's mind. Don't overthink. Fear is just a state of the mind. If you are neverous, then she is too.

relentless_pma · 2020-05-18T14:47:29+00:00

Have you both lived in the US and Europe?

SteelPWRRanger · 2020-05-18T15:26:51+00:00

Very simple. Stop caring.

Everyone has awkward moments all the time. We’re human. It’s funny. Shrug it off.

Title	How do you avoid akwardness when meeting girls?
Author	masterprocrast99
Upvotes	14
Comments	21
Date	May 17, 2020 5:39 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/gljmb9/how_do_you_avoid_akwardness_when_meeting_girls/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-avoid-akwardness-when-meeting-girls.1495816 https://theredarchive.com/post/1495816

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