How do you fix being socially awkward?

mikeybigbagz · 2016-10-29T22:00:09+00:00

If you keep telling yourself you come across as awkward when you talk to certain people, you will feel more awkward the next time you talk to them. Then you tell yourself they thought you were awkward and the cycle repeats.

I'm trying to learn how to just be in someone presence without evaluating my social performance. First it meant I was pretty quiet, but now I feel more relaxed around people as I don't keep asking myself if they think I'm weird. I still asp out but I'm less involved with that now. If you asp out but clearly don't care, you don't come across as socially awkward.

Cantloginhere · 2016-10-29T21:36:12+00:00

Sounds normal. Practice and or familiarity is one cure. Drugs or testosterone boosting activities are another.

Gustav_Sirvah · 2016-10-29T21:46:40+00:00

I tend to little loose control and tell people weird stuff - so they mark me as "this weirdo". So my awkwardness comes from different thing than shyness.

cudder17 · 2016-10-29T23:24:51+00:00

What's your posture like OP

Hydrojed · 2016-10-30T00:31:58+00:00

I'd say stick to your personality. By being yourself you'll attract the appropriate people who are like minded. If you can be flexible with your mindset as well. Stagnating with a fixed mindset can be detrimental for growth. Always try your best, and put yourself out there. There is always something to grow and learn from.

Ecurbnon · 2016-10-30T03:33:10+00:00

You gotta kill your ego.

cegavas · 2016-10-30T06:10:40+00:00

Dude you aren't socially awkward, but you have had awkward situations that you think defines who are and controls how you respond to other situations.

Just laugh and learn at this stuff man, don't take everything so seriously and don't get intimidated by social situations.

I've always been part of a friend group where I meet some people I don't know once or twice a month. It would be like me hanging out with the homies and Its like I was chilling in my own space at home. But then 2-3 people would come over, I'd get shy and not pay attention to things that didn't include me.

Fuck that, these homies are like the homies I've had. If you know anything, you think of a joke or are curious about topic of convo, just say it, ask it, whatever. Everyone is going to be friendly unless you give them a reason not too.

I'm thinking you are like a co worker I have named vinny. Vinny is a nice kid but he is desperate to say something and be part of the convo, he says really stupid shit that really only relates to him.

Ex: we can be talking about Fifa and he will go intervene about he doesn't like soccer and make some lame joke about it. Like cool dude..

Don't do this.

Vinny should say why he doesn't like it and why they do. Maybe include a joke about how you were forever scared by a brother who beat your ass in Fifa

Just be light hearted and try and brush off the awkward stuff. Happens to everyone everyday, you can brush it off and laugh or absorb it so much you eventually make a reddit post how to get rid of it.

Good luck man!! Hope this helps. Taking an improv class helped me think on my feet and just react to life. Maybe that can help u too!

Jacob_961 · 2016-10-30T13:22:10+00:00

You want them to like you so you panic if you don't get validation and you start doing stupid shit. This is the empty cup syndrome. You need validation. Look... let me demonstrate. It's very nice that people on Seddit have the courage to talk openly about their insecurities and you sir are a fine example of the type of people that make this subreddit great, it's a remarkable example of courage and you sir should feel very proud of yourself.

Now did you feel good about yourself? Chances are you did. I don't know you and I can make you feel good just by spewing out a couple of words. Now girls are not as nice as me. I can make you feel a lot worse too and trust me, negatives sting much worse. Your need for validation is a weakness that people can and will exploit. You should never allow anyone to be able to poke holes. Ever, especially women. They will eat your heart just for fun and you will be left and empty man, a shadow of a person. Rule of life: No one is allowed to mess with you. If they do, they die. Simple as that. So what is solution. Sorry I ripped you up a bit. I will make it all better I promise. The solution is to demand respect rather than demand love. You can punish bad behavior but you cannot punish someone for not liking you, you have no argument. I don't like you, deal with it. But if a person shows disrespect, you can fuck shit up. It doesn't matter if you don't like me, if you diss me, you die. So now you have regained control and you don't have to be a dancing monkey and contemplate your worth every second around people. It doesn't matter if they like you because it is something uncontrollable. What happens if you try to control something you cannot control? Right, you lose your fucking mind. Behavior you can definitely control and you know the good thing, emotions follow actions. If a person does you a favor, he starts to like you more. If a person shows you respect, he will see you as more valuable even though the bahavior is forced.

When I said good things about you and you felt good about yourself, it made me sound more credible because your emotions validated my words. People are mostly sheep and you won't know you are a sheep or recognize a lion until you become a lion yourself. Then you start to see the games people play. I can make a prediction about you, sometimes you realize someone is being fake and you just give it to him because you don't want to offend him or make him feel bad, maybe your boss when he calls you on being 5 minutes late when you worked 2 hours overtime without pay just the day before or a girl who is bitchy who you allow to be bitchy. You can recognize it is a front and there is no rational basis for the behavior and you know in your gut that they are just being fake, they are pretending, but you don't want to make them feel bad because it would hurt their feelings and you don't want that. Aw... how sweet. Guess what, your validation seeking empty cup self just lost you respect and affirmed their superiority. Go eat some cake to make yourself feel better.

narnold10485 · 2016-10-30T00:10:14+00:00

http://imgur.com/tgNUqt6

I'm on mobile right now so I can't properly hyperlink that but check it out. You basically have to break any single one of those behaviors in the circle and things will improve as long as you work at it and believe in your self. Remember, change comes from within.

Theturtleslaya · 2016-10-30T01:05:30+00:00

It's starts with confidence in yourself and who you are. It's something I'd say almost everyone struggles with. Start by making habits of trying to improve yourself. Read the book how to win friends and influence people by Dale carnegie and just learn how to love people and put them above yourself but not in an unhealthy way. Watch Ted talks, find hobbies that you enjoy, and overall just become happy with yourself. This confidence and happiness in yourself will manifest in your social interactions I'm very serious when I say you should read How to win friends and influence people. READ IT. It has changed the way I look at things for the better just please read it for me.

Title	How do you fix being socially awkward?
Author	upandup123
Upvotes	20
Comments	12
Date	October 29, 2016 9:10 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5a2n7u/how_do_you_fix_being_socially_awkward/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-fix-being-socially-awkward.1414722 https://theredarchive.com/post/1414722

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