How escalate without alcohol?

zougster · 2019-09-18T12:29:52+00:00

Hey man, here are a few thoughts to maybe push your thinking a bit.

1). Projecting your insecurities on her. Part of me is wondering if the 1-3 drinks are really loosening *you* up, not her, enough to build the courageousness to escalate further. This is something to reflect on; I definitely do this too and I suspect many men do as well.

2). You have to escalate in tiny increments to test for constant consent. From the very first time you meet her and you go in for a kiss on the cheek vs a professional handshake, you should be assessing her reaction and acclimating / adjusting to her accordingly. If she seems open to a kiss on the cheek as a hello, then maybe when you sit down together and you tell a hilarious story, maybe you touch her thigh as a way to drive your point home (not a creepy touch but almost like a friendly, quick touch). Again, you are calibrating your style to her response. Etc...

3). Implicit in all of this is being able to empathize with her enough to recognize her reactions to your stimuli. This is something to be learned and practiced. Study microexpressions, read books on emotional intelligence, observe other peoples' interactions. Women are subtle creatures, us men are overt creatures. You cannot try to read a woman using the men's playbook because it isn't written in that language. I usually like to escalate in increments throughout the interaction, then I leave her to make the final move and if done right, she will be very into you and will be wondering why you aren't moving in to kiss her at the end of your date. She will make it obvious that she wants you to do it (gazing deeply into your eyes, licking her lips, biting her bottom lip, pushing her pelvis/chest on yours etc)

If you do these things, then escalating by the end of your interaction will be just the natural / logical next step and it won't feel like going from 0-100mph in no time.

Best of luck, soldier. Get it done.

smoothmax · 2019-09-18T14:56:41+00:00

You can access those endorphins that alcohol releases by other means. By getting in your body, getting close to the girl, establishing laser eye contact and really vibing each other and feeling the mutual attraction.

If you don't learn to do this without booze then you're condemning yourself to either alcoholism or to a very boring dating life.

Try the book Rapid Escalation by Liam Mcrae, IIRC he uses non-alcoholic methods.

corentinus_ll · 2019-09-18T12:22:56+00:00

Physical escalation is what you need. Going further step by step, until you get to kiss her OR until she shows you ‘this is how far you can go’. The idea is that she 1) gets used to your physical contact and maybe wants more and 2) silently allows you to move on, unless she makes clear you shouldn’t. Basically, start with physical contact above shoulders and make your way down.

Look up the ‘escalation ladder’. It’s pretty straightforward and can be used in as good as any situation.

suredoes123 · 2019-09-18T13:51:28+00:00

I don't drink, and go on lots of dates where neither of us drink.

I do not like dinner dates [they get expensive and often don't provide good setting for escalating]. I do like dinner while sitting at the bar though, so I can sit NEXT to her and it is much easier to touch her.

Bowling is a great opportunity for touch. When you/her does well go for high five, then progress to more touching as things progress and she becomes more comfortable with you. You don't bowl 'together' but you cross paths every time, that's a great opportunity.

Generally I touch with the back of my hand on her arm first, when telling a story or reacting to something she said. 'omg that's so funny' as I touch her arm. Use this to judge if she likes it and move on.

Title	How escalate without alcohol?
Author	legend503
Upvotes	2
Comments	10
Date	September 18, 2019 11:40 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/d5whz5/how_escalate_without_alcohol/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-escalate-without-alcohol.1478937 https://theredarchive.com/post/1478937

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