I do many things for a living, but attending social gatherings where some of the best business minds in the city attend is something that I am required to go to. At first it was weird and intimidating being a young guy in a room full of power players. This included men and women who were making 6 and even 7 figures. Eventually I became much more comfortable at this and I quickly realized that many of the skills were also applicable in picking up girls and making new friends.

  • Pump up Don't be a dick, but carry yourself well. Act like you own the world and it’s in the palm of your hand. Think of your idol, whether it’s Harvey Specter or Ari Gold, how would he walk into this situation? I wrote an article a while back on how to build confidence, check it out here.

  • Engage Engage Engage The longer that you stand around alone, the stupider that you’re gonna look. Introduce yourself to the first person you see, chances are that person will also be relieved to have met someone. Stick your hand out to the person and introduce yourself. Not too complicated boys.

  • Handshake Super important for the old fashioned types, you want it to be firm but not crushing or intimidating. Look them straight in the eye and give them a smile. Try to keep the hand engaged until the other person also makes eye contact and smiles. Bill Clinton was really good at this, engage the person and make them feel special. Trust me, not too many people do this. Protip: keep your drink in your left hand so it’s not wet when you go to shake someone’s hand. Wiping your hand on your pants is an amateur move.

  • Conversation Flow It’s your job to mandate what is spoken and how fast or slow the conversation is. After introductions, ask questions relating to how they know the host or even a simple, “What are you drinking?” Again this relates to handshake topic, make them feel special. Holding a conversation has been discussed ad nauseum in this subreddit. Feel free to share a little about yourself but still ask the questions.

  • Ending It Okay so now you know a little about them, end the conversation in about 5 to 7 minutes and move on to another person. Because you followed my directions and were controlling the pace of the conversation, ending it shouldn’t be too hard. Try to remember key aspects about them and remember something interesting.

  • Circling Back To Them Introduce yourself to some more people using the steps above. But then circle back to the same person. It’s all an ego game now. Introduce them to someone new and tell them something you remembered from the previous conversation. What you remembered about them is what will seal the deal with that person.

  • Contact Info This is where you get the number or the business card (yes people still use those). If it’s a girl, wait to ask for it now. Obviously follow the rules of getting it, rather than giving it out. It gives you an excuse to contact them again. Follow up with a simple line such as, “Nice meeting you last night, Let’s grab a drink soon.”

If you’ve followed all these steps all you have done is be engaging and you’re the ‘popular person’. You might not get with all the girls, but at least you have made your intentions clear. I've tried these things in the black tie parties and also at college parties that I frequent every weekend. It's the same principle.