How many approaches?

lovemycats65 · 2025-11-12T18:08:49+00:00

Quality of approach matters more than quantity in the long run.

poly_nerdy_panda · 2025-11-12T18:05:46+00:00

i rarley do a direct approach anymore its more like if i see someone cool i talk to them about their outfit, ask if they are single want to go on a date

Few_Competition_1989 · 2025-11-12T17:30:24+00:00

200-400 for most people, and approach anxiety completely goes away by approach 10.000 or so.

You'll see consistent success by approach 2000-4000 if you keep at it. At that point it's fair to say you are "kinda good" at approaching women.

Doesn't matter how attractive you are from the outside btw, the battle is inside your head when it comes to this.

jackthehat6 · 2025-11-12T18:18:50+00:00

100 ish

But it doesn't necessarily effect your success at all. Don't forget that. You can feel VERY comfortable, and have the best 'game' (using all the pushpull theories etc) and get rejected all night long. This isn't a computer game lol. Its about finding the girls who are attracted to you, more or less

ComplexTell25 · 2025-11-12T18:02:55+00:00

RemindMe! 4 days

TuneSoft7119 · 2025-11-13T03:42:50+00:00

I can approach anyone but I cant flirt to save my life.

I didnt even do many approaches. Its not hard to walk up to someone and chat with them.

But.... i have never been on a date

topher_atx · 2025-11-14T00:17:25+00:00

I've been thing a lot about this lately. Whenever you cold approach or express interest in a stranger, how often is the rejection because they don't find you attractive or consider you a top suitor versus they are rejecting all cold approaches out of fear/stranger-danger/anti-f*ckboi-defense?

For me personally, I think the rejection rate I get is abnormally high for me to just not be good enough for the overwhelming majority of women I approach. I suspect what's going on is women aren't being approached very often and when they are approached they automatically reject the guy assuming he's a predator seeking casual sex.

I think that's the cause of most of our frustrations as men: women playing defense to fend off guys looking for casual sex.

Cold approach used to be my go-to strategy. 2 of my 3 adult relationships for example were from cold approach, so its not a terrible strategy, but the amount of rejection you'll face seems unnaturally high in my opinion.

I think women tend to reject sharks they see swimming around hunting. They think we're predators so they reject us. The whole "men are suppose to approach" thing is a myth in my opinion. I think women really end up liking a guy they know, or maybe see occasionally somewhere, then they pick that guy and drop hints. This way they get to date the guys they like instead of the guys who like them, and it gives them some defense against predators.

Anyway, I could be wrong, but those are my observations. People in general are extremely avoidant of strangers, and women especially seem to be wary of men who try to chat them up.

The absolute #1 best way to meet women is through friends and social circles from my experience. Having once been a young person, all of the women I was once involved with as a young person I met this way (high school and college). But when you get older, and no longer have your college circle of friends, you lose this for the most part. Thats when things become very difficult for men and women.

I met my last girlfriend thru cold approach in 2023. After we broke up early in 2024, I set out to find a new girlfriend through cold approach. 2024 & 2025 have been failures for me using this strategy. I've met and slept with women I met over the past two years, but it has been so much work, a tremendous amount of work actually, and still hasn't resulted in a relationship. I can't let 2026 be another failure like 2024 & 2025, so I guess thats why I'm writing this long reply 😂.

Last thing I'll say: women generally aren't that worried about being single and they're much less interested in us than we are in them, so a lot of our romantic woes are just a byproduct of women being content being single. Eventually we pair up 1 to 1 for the most part, but how long you spend single as a man depends on how long they can tolerate being alone before they get lonely and pick one of us. Eventually they get lonely though, and they will end up picking someone. So play the game, but don't play too hard or they'll think you're a shark.

BerlinTango1978 · 2025-11-14T13:12:46+00:00

Why do you hesitate?

Independent_Ad8822 · 2025-11-14T22:58:07+00:00

Me personally I just had to drill into my head that if I was gonna talk to a girl I was there to actually see if I liked them. Not just there looks. That made it so I was much more likely to naturally and confidently approach women. And I would guess I’ve only probably approached around 100 women in my life. 23 yo btw

Title	How many approaches?
Author	hiiigherself
Upvotes	7
Comments	14
Date	November 12, 2025 5:23 PM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ovbctp/how_many_approaches/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-many-approaches.1566380 https://theredarchive.com/post/1566380

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