How many cold approaches before your first text-back? Is it worth it?

hunterpua · 2020-11-12T11:01:51+00:00

Its not about the number of cold approaches you do, its about what you do when you're in the interaction.

I probably did like 50 before the first text back but that was only because I was so nervous about it before and I didn't know how to make conversation at all.

You're lucky you already got 13 snapchats after approaching only 25. I was too scared to let the conversation proceed towards getting girls' contacts at around my 25th approach.

Nowadays though, its pretty much 1:1 with almost every girl I approach texting me back.

You're probably oversimplifying what you're doing, probably just saying hi, maybe showing interest, maybe joking and flirting a bit, then after a little more talk, if they're responding well you ask for their snap.

That's not enough because even if you had a bit of a flirt with each other, you're still a stranger to her.

You'd have to be the first guy to flirt with her in 6 months for an interaction like that to have a good chance of getting a text back.

Its easy for her to weigh things up. She can either go with the cute guy who flirted with her for 5 minutes that she barely knows or even remembers or she can go with one of the guys her friends introduced to her at a party who she sees a few times here and there and knows a lot more things about plus she can ask her friends for more information about him too.

She's just more comfortable with option B.

And that's the key, you need to make her comfortable with you.

How comfortable? Comfortable enough to make plans with you on the spot.

How do you do it? Lead the conversation towards things you have in common, the more connections you make like you both went here, you both like this, you both tried that, etc. The more comfortable she'll get with you and you with her.

With all of that, you'll also be learning what would be cool for you to do with each other.

Since you'll be talking about things you have in common, it'll be natural to find out the things both of you like to do so just make the suggestion to go do one of those things together.

If she thinks that's a good idea then the contact details will be a matter of necessity and the odds of her texting you back will be very high.

Suddenly you're not just some guy she flirted with for a few minutes, you're a guy that she gets along with and has a few things in common with who she'd really enjoy doing something with because she knows you can relate because you enjoy it too.

Oh, but this will probably take a few more cold approaches to get the hang of.

Don't think you'll be able to do what I described here without some practice. At least now you won't just be practicing randomly hoping one day experience will just make you so appealing more girls will text you back.

Now you have some direction, now you know what to practice to improve a specific aspect of what you're doing.

CompetitionFair7686 · 2020-11-12T04:36:42+00:00

The problem is not cold approach, the problem is your mindset. You go there to get phone numbers, rather than having fun interactions and authentic connections with the girls. Why would you ask for 25 numbers? What made you ask for their number other than they were girls or that they were pretty? Do you even care about their personalities? Do they think you care?

Most likely you don’t, you probably just talk about some topics that have nothing to do with her personality and then when you run out of things to say just ask for number because that was your goal before you even began the conversation to get the number no mater what.... And the girls can feel the lack of authenticity.

Schhwing · 2020-11-12T04:29:24+00:00

Instead of focussing on the numbers, try to have a really fun, interesting interaction with each individual girl. Break it down.

You make it good for both of you by leading the interaction in a way that you find interesting or fun, and bringing her along for the ride.

atomant88 · 2020-11-12T09:23:45+00:00

10 is a good number. and then 10 texts for a date. so 100 cold approaches for 1 date. but its pretty easy to do 10-30 in a day. so you should be able to have a date or three every weekend

2020-11-12T13:42:48+00:00

So a couple of misconceptions in this sub:

If you are beginner 1/25 numbers is the norm. Your green you don't know shit and you don't have the experience to navigate the seduction world yet. What you realize about cold approach is until you reach a certain level it is a numbers game.
Yes conversations can last 10 minutes or 30 minutes or a hour. I wouldn't recommend past 20 minutes though as unless your going for a same day lay the longer you talk to the woman the less mysterious you are to her and the more you just become a regular guy.
Be prepared that even when you do get the numbers a LOT will flake. Either from not texting you, texting you a little then stopping or setting up a date and then canceling. Flaking will happen a lot.
There is a mindset to cold approach that is similiar to sales. your going to get a lot of rejections and shoot your shot a lot but eventually you will find someone that likes you. After doing this for a while I swear cold approach is just a convenient way to put yourself out there more and be letting woman notice you more.

Formal-Courage3725 · 2020-11-12T04:23:05+00:00

I had the same issue and yes its worth it because it helps eliminate approach anxiety. What is the vibe like during your interaction? Clearly the women aren't interested in you so maybe you look thirsty doing cold approaches?

alexXx9_ · 2020-11-12T09:43:00+00:00

I think your problem is that you try to play it cool while touching topics that aren't that much interesting "The weather/ What you study/ where do you live/ what are you up to" etc, instead, you should try to lead the conversation as much as possible, you should lead the conversation in a creative, emotional way, you should let her talk more than you even if in the beginning it's hard... Let her talk about her passion, then continue from that, let her talk about her hobbies, let her talk about things she really cares and with whom you can create an emotional bond, be creative, try to create a role play as soon as she's a little bit receptive, imagination is a great tool to use to connect apparently unrelated argument...

Also, showing interest is a double sword because in the beginning there are lots of guys who are looking for validation and they avoid rejection as much as possible so they're not clear about the premise of the interaction, so, for beginners it:s okay to say "Hey I just wanted to say that I really find you attractive", the problem with that is that you'll do okay with girls that are already receptive with you since the beginning, and you'll probably get rejected by girls that are not convinced yet but they could potentially be if they'd have the chance to know you better...

So in my opinion, you should be confident, speak with them about emotional topics, make the premise clear, admit that it's a man to woman interaction, showing interest without putting her on the pedistal.. You could do that by maybe playing role games or doing a little bit of Push N Pull but you need a lot of experience and calibration to understand what really works

Anyway keep it up, you'll develop skills that 99.9% of the people out there doesn't have, congrats to yourself, you're brave and you should be proud of you

theselfreliantman · 2020-11-14T03:25:26+00:00

If you're wondering whether or not those numbers are always going to be the case, they're not.

As you improve you'll get a way higher percentage of girls at least texting back. I'd start focusing on what's actually going on in the interactions.

If you REALLY want to value your time, record the sessions/interactions and censor/post them for feedback.

I feel you on the volume, it's a tough time for doing a lot of approaching. You can up your numbers by approaching girls in groups (there's no rule that says you have to pick up a solo girl only).

BensonInFL · 2020-11-13T17:49:45+00:00

After 25 approaches, 13 girls gave me their snapchat or number; I have yet to receive a reply after texting them.

1) What is the context that your asking their number? Is it because you plan to meet up later, or exchange pics or memes or something, or are you just asking without any reason?

2) What are you texting them? I often text a 'It was nice chatting with you, have a great rest of your day :) ' a little while after the interaction, and then DHV or opinion opener later or next few days.

-B

Title	How many cold approaches before your first text-back? Is it worth it?
Author	throwawaayy0009
Upvotes	17
Comments	19
Date	November 12, 2020 4:13 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/jsnx8i/how_many_cold_approaches_before_your_first/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-many-cold-approaches-before-your-first-text.1505499 https://theredarchive.com/post/1505499

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