How much do looks matter?

DanG_ptsss · 2017-08-21T17:39:55+00:00

[permanently deleted]

TheSupreme1st · 2017-08-21T20:15:09+00:00

Yea, every time I see this thread come up I wanna punch the wall and then punch the person who brought it up. YES looks matter. That's why some girls you approach you will never get no matter how good you are at game. BUT this doesn't mean it's the end of the world if you're bad looking or average. A LOT of women can still be attracted to you by other things like confidence, style, personality, etc. Now if you are basing your success or failure because you don't look good enough, THEN you are dead wrong. Focus on your seduction technique FIRST (approach, general hygiene, personality) and Then focus on looks(style, fashion, gym, eyebrow trimming etc.). Hell you can get plastic surgery for all I care. But your seduction technique will KILL your chances of f-closing no matter if your fucking Leonardo DiCaprio.

John-lovestosposh · 2017-08-21T17:03:11+00:00

I think if your not a fat slob and a average looking dude (even a little below average) it really doesn't matter . If your fat , fix your diet and it change you a lot .

AudiblePlasma · 2017-08-21T21:25:11+00:00

Looks are much easier to improve compared to inner game.

Snazzy_Serval · 2017-08-21T17:03:43+00:00

Looks mattering has an inverse relationship with how good your game/confidence is.

The smoother you are with women, the less good looking you need to be.

If you have no skills with women and are lacking confidence, then good looks will be the only way to get girls.

ForeignInUsA · 2017-08-21T19:31:46+00:00

It's how much they matter to you. Really a hot guy will have more receptive girls, but a guy who is not as good looking but doesn't care and is confident as hell won't have as many girls hooked into him immediately but he can overall fuck more girls. I've seen dudes that are not that great looking but are a lot more natural and you just get in frame of mind around them, I don't care about how I look, if the girl enters that boom she can be attracted. But if you go up and are like she is out of my league because of how she looks., then you are done from the get go. Also keep in mind values, you have a financial career, drives in life, family, etc. all that shit is a 1-10 scale number, when we see a girl we only see her for her beauty, but normally they have shitty finances, think lowly of themselves and so forth, so overall men are more confident.

Tim nailed it with giving a detail about pure looks wise.

Overall I suggest fitness, good haircut and clothes. Fitness just makes you more attractive, it brings value, keeps your mind in a better state. Good haircut is essential and good clothes bring out character and personality.

TimHatesChoosingName · 2017-08-21T21:13:43+00:00

I've lived my entire life thinking I was the ugliest guy in the world (thanks middle school bullying!) I never even had a romantic date until I was 29.

Take my advice for what it's worth, but if you feel ugly...CHANGE IT! I didn't like my double chin, so I grew a beard. I didn't like the way my hair poofed from the sides, so I got a high & tight. I hated how hairy I am, so I bought a back shaver, clippers, and many other tools to keep my identity as a werewolf a secret. I didn't like having an extra 15-20lbs jiggling around, so I learned how to cook healthy instead of eating out, and I did at least 20-30min of cardio every day, plus calisthenics and weight lifting. I hated being socially anxious and always feeling like a perv, so I stopped looking at porn and practiced meditation to stay in the moment. I hated not having nice clothes that fit well, so I went out and bought nice clothes that fit well.

I don't particularly endorse this, but smoking pot helped a lot with my self-esteem. I felt more comfortable with my body while high, in addition to it basically allowing me to actually say what was on my mind. Before I'd always hesitate and just end up never asking anyone out. Now I ask a girl for her number before my mind even gets a chance to intervene.

All of the sudden I'm beginning to pull numbers left and right. I look women straight in the eye while chatting with them, with almost a wolfish, predatory grin on my face. Laser-focused. If I don't get their number then, I'll remember their name and something I learned about them. I'll call out their name the next time I see them, ask them about their day, and find a way to ask them about their thing I learned (hobby, hometown, interest, etc). Usually if another conversation goes well and I see one or two signs of interest, I'll ask for her number and suggest a date.

My self-esteem is good enough now where I no longer consider myself ugly, but I definitely wouldn't consider myself attractive. If anything I'm average to slightly below average. You wouldn't believe it though by how many new numbers and facebook friends I've gotten in just the first few days of college.

All those douchey frat guys and pretty-eyed ****boys that I used to feel intimidated by? Now I intimidate them. Say I'm talking to a cute girl who's dating one of those guys. If he approaches us I'll turn, square off directly to him, look him dead in the eyes while giving the same predatory grin from earlier, and offer a firm handshake while introducing myself in a deep, clear, very direct tone.

If we're approaching him (ex: if I was walking her to him), it's pretty much the same, except I won't be quite as aggressive. I don't want to appear threatening and thus make him defensive. I'll approach like any normal nice guy would approach. I want him to feel above me at first. Then, when it's time for introductions, I'll do the same as above: Square up, eye-contact, wolfish grin, firm handshake. Now that he's been caught off guard, I've got brief control of the situation. I'll ask him some questions, get to know him a little bit. I'm the one in charge of this conversation now, not him.

When it's time to go, I'll look him in the eyes while saying, "It was great to meet you ____, but I'm afraid I must go." I'm the one still in charge of the conversation. I'm the one who's busy. I'm the one who needs to go. Before I'll turn away though I'll be sure to say, "Have a nice evening!" or something similar to them. The only difference is my last eye contact before I go will be with her.

TLDR: If you don't like your looks, change them! Look up ways you can utilize facial hair, hairstyles, or outfits to hide your flaws whilst boosting your features. If you need to lose weight, learn to cook healthy (btw: women like men who can cook), go for a run, and lift some weights. Once again, focus on your flaws and boost your strengths. Got a big chest? Better learn to love leg day!

If you don't like your game, improve it! Better yet, throw the very concept of game out the window. Boys play games. You don't want to be a boy. Real men do battle with each other on the field of courtship!

TheSupreme1st · 2017-08-21T16:40:39+00:00

They matter and they don't matter

2017-08-21T16:53:12+00:00

A very good looking guy will always have an immediate advantage. With that being said, the more confident, fun person will always win in the end. The reason looks matter isn't because girls need an attractive man, looks matter because girls need a confident man. Most guys I know who are REALLY good at picking up girls are only decent looking. I have friends who look like models but can't pick up a girl to save their life because they aren't confident in the way that they speak and carry themselves.

Makakka2002 · 2017-08-21T16:54:51+00:00

It depends, it just depends. For initial IOI look, clothing and vibe is everything if you are alone on street. The more face time you have with girl the less important look gets.

Do everything possible to improve your looks it betters your vibe.

2017-08-21T22:00:24+00:00

They matter, plain and simple. I'd love to say that looks are a part but not the entire picture, but it is what opens the door. If you are attractive and then other attributes arise, it is all gravy. But surface attractiveness begins the conversation. It starts the dance.

2017-08-21T23:50:31+00:00

Looks and confidence matter. I'd put myself at average. Maybe slightly above average. But 90% of the time I go out I do pretty bad with women because I'm not confident. Most of my successes came from leaving my ego behind. That's usually accomplished by slowly getting comfortable around a girl through repeated interactions, or just drowning my ego in alcohol.

ToxicRocketry · 2017-08-22T00:16:35+00:00

Different day, same question. Isn't there a sidebar link for this?

For women: Yes. Fortunately for many girls, most of them, provided they try to keep a minimum standard of good health, pass this threshold quite easily.

For men: Not really. Fitness, intelligence, boldness and determination trump them by miles. Facial attractiveness or whatever FA guys go on about all day? Not in the slightest. You should be more worried about what's INSIDE your head than the shell surrounding it.

2017-08-22T02:33:51+00:00

I’ll provide my answer by way of a brief story of my experience. I’ve never been bad looking or overweight, but I used to have significantly more body fat than I do now. I’d say my success with women was slightly above average back then.

Now, thanks to dropping enough fat to get to about 8-9% (based on comparison pictures, mostly), with added muscle through intense weight training, my success rate is markedly better. Like night-and-day difference.

Admittedly, some of this is due to the increased confidence I have due to how I look. But because I can compare how women reacted to me before the fat loss vs. how they react now, even before I’ve had a chance to approach or open my mouth, there’s no question in my mind my changed appearance has made a big difference. And my appearance changed in two fundamental ways: my bodily physique, of course, but also my facial features, cheekbones, etc., which really stand out now without excess fat obscuring them.

One other change I made, however – my clothes. I got some nice, dark, well-fitted jeans, good shoes (not sneakers), and a series of form-fitting V-neck t-shirts and quality henleys. Basically my clothes advertise my physique, and are more hip and stylish than what I wore before. But they also are more me than what I wore before – or at least they emphasize my more attractive personality traits.

So yeah, appearance definitely matters. But there are concrete things you can do to improve it. Drop fat, put on muscle, get good clothes that fit well, and figure out what look goes best with your overall appearance and personality. Assuming you also gain the confidence/game you’ll need to tie it all together, you’ll be turning the heads of women you never thought possible before.

recyclablebanthas · 2017-08-22T03:35:08+00:00

__1__

How much do looks affect your success with girls.........

What are you looking for her? Hard numbers? This is subjective. There is no hard data or statistics here, really.

It seems like what you're looking for is justification one way or the other to believe that looks either matter or they don't.

Well, the world is both simpler and more complex than you might think.

Simpler: Looks matter, in that girls have preferences, as ANY PERSON ON EARTH DOES.
More complex: Looks also don't matter because a lot of internal qualities can enhance attraction for men or women.

In the end, what we're left with is a messy truth that's comforting if you don't like to worry yourself silly. If you need a black and white world though, this truth will drive you mad:

There are going to be people out there who are into you. And some who aren't. And because you can't read minds or see the future, you CAN'T tell who is who until you get your ass in there. Oh, and while you can't change someone who's not into you, into someone who is attracted, you can certainly turn someone off who is attracted.

There you go. Both simple and not.

__2__

and how can you make yourself look better?

Stop worrying about shit like this. I mean, of course, take care of your health. Dress nicely and feel good about your look. Groom, etc. Don't be a slob, etc.

But "better" is in the eye of the beholder. No matter how well you take care of yourself, not everyone will be into you. And that's fine because you won't be into everyone either.

recyclablebanthas · 2017-08-22T03:57:15+00:00

This post had to be taken down because it violates the Posting Guidelines in the sidebar. Specifically, the section in the Posting Guidelines, on physical limitations, which links to a post that settles this issue.

Title	How much do looks matter?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	12
Comments	38
Date	August 21, 2017 4:05 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6v3wr7/how_much_do_looks_matter/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-much-do-looks-matter.1432359 https://theredarchive.com/post/1432359

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