How to build "real" inner value ?

richie0777 · 2016-12-12T04:15:43+00:00

Second time posting this today. Feel like this becoming a common sticky point of the community - after lots of self improvement people become higher value, but this sudden shift is too quick and they experience cognitive dissonance from a lifetime of being lower value. Look, get some positive reference experiences. This may go against the general doctrine but this worked for me. As I got more fit and dressing better I noticed girls starting to look at me. I realized this was what it felt like to get checked out. This is going to sound vain but I started to go to places with lots of girls (did a lot studying in coffee shops or example) and look for girls to check me out. Slowly I began to internalize that I had become attractive. I still wasn't great at talking to them, but I finally began to believe I had more to bring to the table. This doesn't have to be so superficial, but can be applied to your hobbies as well as you get good at them. I play a lot of basketball, when I started getting good I didn't fully believe it and would pass on good shots to deferr to better teammates. But after awhile I realized I could consistently make them and started to play with more confidence. Adjusting your mental frame is crucial in supporting your new confidence. To do that... you'll need to seek external reference points. It will take time, but be patient. Hard work pays off.

richie0777 · 2016-12-12T04:15:43+00:00

Second time posting this today. Feel like this becoming a common sticky point of the community - after lots of self improvement people become higher value, but this sudden shift is too quick and they experience cognitive dissonance from a lifetime of being lower value. Look, get some positive reference experiences. This may go against the general doctrine but this worked for me. As I got more fit and dressing better I noticed girls starting to look at me. I realized this was what it felt like to get checked out. This is going to sound vain but I started to go to places with lots of girls (did a lot studying in coffee shops or example) and look for girls to check me out. Slowly I began to internalize that I had become attractive. I still wasn't great at talking to them, but I finally began to believe I had more to bring to the table. This doesn't have to be so superficial, but can be applied to your hobbies as well as you get good at them. I play a lot of basketball, when I started getting good I didn't fully believe it and would pass on good shots to deferr to better teammates. But after awhile I realized I could consistently make them and started to play with more confidence. Adjusting your mental frame is crucial in supporting your new confidence. To do that... you'll need to seek external reference points. It will take time, but be patient. Hard work pays off.

steezmonster99 · 2016-12-12T04:36:18+00:00

After getting 6 pack abs for the first time, looking great and getting tons of external validation my newfound happiness quickly disappeared. You can keep adding value, but at some point you have to realize that "you are enough."

It's great to continue to work on self development, but you have to realize that you never needed to do any of it because all of the value is already there.

Start by watching Julien from RSD's videos about happiness and Tyler's RSD videos about abundance.

Stick with it man. Becoming truly internally happy and having that internal value is the best gift you can give yourself.

IntrovertedBadass · 2016-12-12T05:18:00+00:00

The best way that we've found to really buil confidence and self esteem is through using thought loops. It's more powerful than affirmations. I've been coaching introverted men for more than 20 years now, and it's the single most powerful inner game technique that we found to exist. I have a webinar with step by step instructions on how to use thought loops and other psychology exercises to build true core confidence. The webinar is 3 hour long and exclusively focused on introverted men. (you'll have to register uring your email though). Would you like me to post the link?

Kitt_55 · 2016-12-12T14:11:28+00:00

"Being honest extends well past your interactions with woman and into how you choose to live your life. While it is important to be honest with others, it is also critical that you are honest with yourself. Perhaps by now you have realized that the same core beliefs it takes to be successful with women mirror those needed to be successful in life. All the attractive traits and behaviors mentioned in this book are beneficial to you regardless of your interest in attracting women. Your attractiveness to women comes as a consequence of improving yourself as a man. You become an attractive man by living a life of authenticity and integrity.

You become authentic when you are pursuing your purpose, and living your life in accordance to what you value. Even if you lack what others would define as “success,” you keep your integrity by knowing that you are acting true to yourself. This is the deepest form of honesty. You accept yourself as you are. You do not lie to yourself to protect your ego. You work at becoming who you want to be, not what others have determined as being worthy of praise, love or approval. Fulfillment, confidence and self-respect come from living a life that is in line with your values. When you show how much you value and respect yourself, you gain the admiration of others. Lead a life that you are proud of, and thus a woman who shares your values would be proud to join."

-Fundamentals of Female Dynamics (book) by Michael Knight

Title	How to build "real" inner value ?
Author	Aesz14
Upvotes	4
Comments	12
Date	December 11, 2016 11:08 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5ht2il/how_to_build_real_inner_value/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-build-real-inner-value.1416918 https://theredarchive.com/post/1416918

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