I'm a 21M and this is something that i struggle with alot. I'll be okay chilling with the gang saying basic stuff to each other but unable to go to any emotional depth.

A few weeks ago one of my friends found out his mother had cancer and she had to go through surgery leaving her almost brain-dead and I knew he was pretty depressed about it all. But when i visited him all i said was "Ay man what's up?"

I fucking hate the fact that i cant express my emotions at all. I actually felt bad for him and wanted to express my support but all that came out was "whatsup?" And this exact thing has ruined almost all of my past relationships as well. Specially with my last gf.

My inability to communicate how much i love her made her think that i don't love her at all.

I feel like I'm just rushing through stuff. Trying to fill up the silences and not actually living in that moment.

That's why i also have trouble maintaining eye contact with women. Cuz the need to fill up the silence and just do something generic is so fucking real that it ruins the peaceful moments where you live every second of those staring at her eyes.

I understand i might need therapy for this. I just wanna know if someone else is going through this as well.