I almost made my first approach.

CompetitionFair7686 · 2021-09-12T22:57:30+00:00

If you are not ready to make a fool of yourself then you will never approach. It’s not about evading being ridiculed it’s about not taking yourself and your image so seriously

TheSunshineMan · 2021-09-13T02:36:13+00:00

You know what's making you a fool, by not going after what you want. out of fear of some girl not being interested.

Who the FUCK cares.

Be a man.

Go after what you want.

Or you'll never be happy when it comes to women.

All you had to do was ask her abut her tattoos..

Literally impossible to look like a fool or fail.

OneThousandYardStare · 2021-09-13T00:46:26+00:00

Here's some advice I previously gave on the cold approach. You might find it helpful.

Okay so from reading your post it seems like you are having trouble opening a set cold. (I'm not sure if you're familiar with the jargon or not but a set is a woman or group of women that you want to pursue and opening a set cold means basically what you said- go to a random woman) The first thing I'll tell you is that this is extremely common. You are par for the course right now so don't be hard on yourself. With just a little bit of information I think I can get you close or at least closer to where you want to be. Lets start with some theory.

There are unspoken social norms that prevent or deter complete strangers from interacting. Intuitively we know that and thats mainly what gives rise to those feelings of apprehension. Those social norms are the reason it takes a little bit of courage to approach a random woman. There are reasons for this, probably very basic evolutionary reasons that deal with in group outgroup dynamics and probably an evolutionary advantage from being wary of strangers.

HOWEVER, there do exist certain situations where it is normal and perhaps even desirable to be approached by a stranger. For example imagine you are standing in the check out line at wal mart and suddenly a stranger comes up to you hands you your wallet and says "excuse me but you dropped this back in the electronics aisle". Its pretty rad that this stranger crossed your path. Now I'm not saying we are gonna wait outside bars for girls to drop their wallets. What I am trying to do is prime you to think about these types of social situations where its okay for strangers to interact. How about when a stranger approaches you and says "I'm sorry to bother you but could you tell me what direction the administration building is?" Once you start to think about it all sorts of situations pop into your head. These are the cracks in social norms that preclude strangers from meeting. There are really specific or dramatic ones or even small casual ones (like if you are out of town and see a girl wearing a t shirt with your hometown's football team on it. Or your alma mater. "Hey you're an LSU tiger too?")

So lets take this a step further. We don't have to wait for these situations to arise, what we can do is engineer them ourselves. So you don't actually have to be lost you can just use it as an excuse to break the ice. Say for instance you are outside of a bar and you see a set you can approach them and say "im sorry to bother you guys but do you know where X bar is?" If they give you directions then you can respond by saying "great, thank you we really appreciate it. Why dont you guys come with, drinks on us for the help?" The trick in these situations is to never lapse into that demeanor that comes with the anxiety we feel when we meet strangers in non acceptable ways.

So let me get you started with a very tried and true, effective open called the "manufactured argument" open. This play is a way to open a set with the help of a wingman. It involves creating a fake disagreement and then asking the target to give their opinion on the matter. Usually my wingman and I walk up to a set and say something to the effect of “I'm sorry to bother you but my friend and I are having a disagreement and we would like a woman's perspective to settle the argument.” She obliges and then you tell her how you have a mutual friend that moved in with his girlfriend a while back but now they are broken up despite still living together. Our friend is getting back out on the dating scene now and we were arguing over whether or not its okay for him to bring a girl back home with him.” Now you can vary this in all types of ways from how long the couple was together to how long they've been broken up or even why they broke up but in the end the girl will give you her opinion. Make sure you and your wingman pick different sides of the argument before you ask the girl. And then let conversation flow from there. After you guys have wrestled with the question for a while ask her if shes ever lived with an ex or what she thinks about moving in with a boyfriend or whatever. You've struck up conversation.

The anxiety around approaching AND being approached by a stranger is ameliorated by the use of alcohol and to be sure that's why a lot of people use it BUT you shouldn't rely on it. Don't feel bad for using false pretenses because its not far off from telling a joke to someone in the first person. ("Yesterday I shot an elephant in my pajamas. What he was doing in my pajamas I'll never know" -Groucho Marx. Obviously Groucho never shot an elephant, he fibbed buts its not unethical. The manufactured open is in the same ballpark) In all honesty girls usually want to meet a guy when they are out and they want it done in a socially smooth way. So put any ethical concerns about this to rest.

Don't be afraid to open. Drop the fear. There are no consequences. Even the best get rejected a LOT. You've succeeded just by stepping up to the plate and your wingman/entourage should high five you to death just for swinging the bat.

So I wont go beyond the scope of the OP which asked about opening. I will also say that books and reading were often hit and miss but there is some good information out there. Taking reps is really the best way to get better. I can link you to the manual that my PUA community gives its new members if you are interested. It goes deeper into opening sets (including how things like self investment and social value can improve your success rate. Also it goes into opening warm sets as opposed to cold [random] sets.) and everything from A to Z really. How to get from opening to closing etc. etc. etc.

Embarrassed_Glass826 · 2021-09-13T00:17:23+00:00

Ask if her if she’s single.

Or

Ask if she can recommend any good books.

Or

Ask her about her tattoos.

skyrunner22 · 2021-09-13T00:29:57+00:00

Excuse me, saw you and wanted to introduce myself.. Or Excuse me do you think a library is a good place to look for a sugar mama? Now go, its really that simple..

The 2nd one is for more advanced but put there to show you can literally say anything, there is youtube channel where dude recites drake lyrics and shit to approach random people..

OneThousandYardStare · 2021-09-13T00:43:50+00:00

You need to change your mindset and understand that approaching no matter if you get turned down or not is courageous and not foolish. Whats foolish is letting an opportunity to talk to a girl you are interested in slip through your fingers. If you don't want to make a fool of yourself then go approach. You've got this brother! Even if its a rejection then you can learn from it and go forward. Even the best get rejected a LOT.

CrabBucketSecurity · 2021-09-13T05:11:01+00:00

“Hi, I'm xxxx whats your name”

Thats the opener I always use

rochre · 2021-09-13T04:58:32+00:00

Easy, dude. Ask for book advice. Don't tell her she's cute She already knows that and knows you think it. Ask for a good novel or something. Now it's level territory. Just two people sharing opinions. Comfort is established. Move on to some witty banter with a smile. If she doesn't like that there was no hope.

Title	I almost made my first approach.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	8
Comments	25
Date	September 12, 2021 10:32 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/pn2p1b/i_almost_made_my_first_approach/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-almost-made-my-first-approach.1276223 https://theredarchive.com/post/1276223

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