I’ve (m26) been lurking on this thread for a while now and thanks to everyone for the help and encouragement. I felt like I had learned a lot and was putting my new knowledge to use. But, last night I threw it all out the window.

Back story: I used to be a confident guy. I’m reasonably attractive and never had much trouble meeting/talking to women. However a toxic relationship left me a shell of my former self. I gave up for years and I have finally started getting back into the game. Before/during this toxic relationship, I met a girl. We instantly clicked on a level that I’ve never experienced again. We had a some great times (including a little fooling around) but I always kept her at an arms length bc of my on and off relationship. After one spontaneous night that ended up being REALLY romantic, I cut ties with her because I didn’t want to be a guy that was cheating on his then girlfriend.

Fast forward to now, we live in the same city. We started chatting and I ended up asking her out. I generally have a nerves during a first date (dinner.) However, it’s never been like this. I was on edge all night. Fidgeting, bouncing my leg, tapping, I couldn’t even eat my meal. It was like, as soon as I saw her I forgot how to be a normal human.

We had a decent conversation and there wasn’t a lot of awkward silence. I think she had fun but, it felt more like friends catching up than a date. (I clearly stated it was a date when I asked her.) Because of my nerves, I didn’t escalate at all. There was very little sexual tension. The night ended without a kiss, or anything else. She said to text her when I made it home, so I did and she responded this morning but I haven’t texted her back as of writing this.

(I thought about calling her this afternoon and candidly/jokingly asking for a “do over” first date. Is this dumb?)

I know oneitis is a plague around here and I don’t want to fall into that trap. But, is this salvageable? And if so, how?

UPDATE: After posting this last week I decided that asking for advice was pointless if I was not going to implement it. So, I didn’t text her, snap, call or like insta posts. In the meantime I shifted my attention to meeting other women, with moderate success. I also decided to sign up for boxing classes and committed to reading more. I even read “How to be a 3% Man.” That book had some good info that highlighted many mistakes I had been making with women that originally were attracted to me.

So last night, around 7:30 I called her to ask her out for a second date. She didn’t answer but immediately texted me that she was in class. (Night coding classes)

7:36 Her: Sorryyyy I’m in class! 8:19 me: No worries, let me know when you’re done 10:19 Her: Hey what’s up 9:30 AM Me: Sorry, I passed out. We should hang out. When are you free?

As of writing this, she hasn’t texted me back.

I have a ways to go, but I know that I have put in an honest effort thus far. This week was a big first step regardless of the outcome.