About me: 21M, 5’5”. I’m not a model, but not unattractive either.

I usually do well with pulling girls in small group settings but struggle with cold approaches in public places like clubs, bars or parties. Despite my efforts, I almost always face rejection. It’s to the point where I avoid approaching women in general in these spaces because I know the outcome already. Understandably frustrated, I’m desperate for advice

The story:I decided to go out to a party with one of my close friends, who you can consider an “objective ladies’ type.” He’s pretty tall, standing at 6’5, dark skin, fit, has dreads and has no problem getting girls. It’s to the point where girls come up to him and start conversations first.

In the party there’s a multitude of good looking girls in attendance, and he’s encouraging me to go try to get a few numbers. However I’m already reluctant and discouraged because I already know what to expect. After a drink and a self pep talk, I gained the courage to go up to 3 girls.

First girl: I walk up to the first girl and compliment her on her outfit (this wasn’t a shallow attempt and I actually did like her outfit, hoping to spark a conversation from it) She told me “thank you” in an annoyed tone and then completely ignored my following attempts to try to talk to her.

Second girl: I see the second girl at the bar and stop to tell her she looks good, and attempted to introduce myself and engage in the obligatory small talk but she proceeded to ignore me flat out

Third girl: At this point, I’m ready to give up, but I try one last time before I do. The third was sitting down at a table so I head over there and try to introduce myself. In the midst of asking her name, she looks up from her phone, tells me straight up that I’m too short for her, and proceeds to look back down at her phone. Obviously at this point I was ready to go home

After striking out, I decided to sit back and observe how my friend approached different women. Within the span of no more than 30 minutes he had to have talked to 20 girls, getting a phone number or IG handle from every single one.

I was dumbfounded at how easy it was for him, and as a social experiment I ask him to try to pull one of the aforementioned girls I was unlucky with, specifically girl #1. I even tell him to lead by saying that he likes her outfit, same exact way I approached. To my bewilderment, they click almost immediately and she ends up giving him her number.

This pattern of rejection in similar settings has left me frustrated and embarrassed because it happens so often.

I understand that with the cold approach, women will decide whether or not they want to talk to you before anything even comes out of your mouth, but the problem lies where my appeal lies in my personality over my looks, so it’s unfair when not even being given that chance

Can anyone offer advice on improving cold approaches at social events like clubs or parties? Obviously this is embarrassing to ask a friend about because at my age you’re already expected to know this, and as much as I love him, based off conversations in the past I can tell my friend can’t process not being to have any girl he wants. Any advice helps, thank you!