I do not understand models honesty/vulnerability - it seems needy to me.

IANAPUA_Yet · 2016-05-13T14:06:29+00:00

Neediness is mostly about how you respond when things aren't working out. You can state whatever desires you want as long as you're willing to move on with your life if the answer is "no".

240mikex · 2016-05-13T11:58:40+00:00

I just finished the book.

The book states the best surefire/no BS way to approach is...

"Hey I think you are cute, (I just wanted to meet you) (and was wondering if would you like to get coffee or drinks with me sometime).

You are being honest, and vulnerable.

If shes not attracted then so be it, you showed both honesty, vulnerability and mostly confidence, next.

Woujo · 2016-05-13T15:20:21+00:00

"Hey, are you going out tonight?" - Masked intetnions, less vulnerable

"masked intentions" is bullshit because girls aren't stupid. She knows what you're getting at but she can also see you're too much of a coward to just come out and say it "let's hang out."

katalis · 2016-05-13T15:55:23+00:00

Remember that is always a matter of how you say things, more than what you say.

A) "Hey are you busy tonight? "

B) "Hey, I want to see you tonight. (no questions about if she is busy)."

I will explain why A) is bad and being needy by explaining why B) is better even though is "vulnerable".

Let's analise both sentences, shall we? In B, you are declaring, expressing and showing your interest and wishes. Think about a kiss. You want to kiss that girl, but you are afraid of rejection, of her reaction, of being a big deal. A man is not afraid of his thoughts, his actions, is not afraid or his desires. If things don't go well, you are perfectly able to move on.

Same with this. You have your life, you are a busy person with priorities and duties who knows how to manage everything. You have value. And right now, you want to see her. It's what you want. If she is not avaliable, you can perfectly move one. You say "okay enjoy your night!" and keep going. Also, you don't have to ask questions that are implied on what you have just said "are you out?", that could be considered as too much investment. Why would you say things that are not necesary? Remember that a man with confidence moves when is needed, not cause of being nervous, not without decision and doubts.

Now, on A), I know it sounds pretty obvious that if you say "are you out tonight?", it implies that is because you want to meet her. But you are not leaving the door open for a rejection there. Like you are afraid. What if she says "no, why?"and your answer is" oh, nothing / just wondering "? That's... Weak.

Vulnerabilities are not about saying bad things about yourself. Are about accepting who you are, what you want and learning to deal with your fears.

Your weak points are your strongest ones.

M_Knight1 · 2016-05-13T13:58:53+00:00

"You must show a woman that you understand and can relate to her on a personal level. The best way of becoming relatable is by being comfortable with showing your own vulnerabilities. Being vulnerable does not mean being weak or soft, but rather that you are strong enough to deal with the repercussions that may result from exposing your true self.

...

There is a difference between making someone like you and generating attraction. The majority of men focus more on ensuring that a woman approves of them, rather than risking becoming vulnerable by honestly expressing themselves. Unapologetic honest expression of one’s true self is at the core of what generates attraction. Thus by playing not to lose and to protect your ego, you are inevitably destined to lose. You need to be unapologetic about who you are as a person. It is OK and normal that not everyone will like you. When first approaching a woman, your intentions should be clear from the start. These intentions should simply be: 'I want to get to know you.'”

Excerpt from Fundamentals of Female Dynamics http://www.amazon.com/Fundamentals-Female-Dynamics-Practical-Attracting/dp/0692655166/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1463035170&sr=8-1&keywords=fundamentals+of+female+dynamics

bh150 · 2016-05-13T15:36:42+00:00

The second one is better because if you're at the point where you want to know if she wants to go out with you, polarize her and find out. She'll be happier saying yes and knowing that you like her and if she isn't you find out immediately so you can move on faster.

recyclablebanthas · 2016-05-13T17:12:36+00:00

When I picture honesty/vulnerability I can only see it working on a first approach, doing it within the context of an estabalished relationship seems needy.

Your perceptions of the different philosophies, is inaccurate.

"Hey, are you going out tonight?" - Masked intetnions, less vulnerable - plausibly deniable.

This is not about masked intentions. It's cowardly. It's vague. You're asking if they are doing anything but not expressing a desire to be part of those plans.

"Hey, I want to see you tonight, you out?" - Honest, vulnerable

Still vague.

Direct would be literally asking her to join you at a specific time and place. Not this BS of, "are you free tonight," without asking for her to spend time with you.

By being honest you are displaying investment, if she is not as invested you will kill the attraction?

Incorrect. Simply expressing desire to spend time with someone does not equal some needy level of investment. It shows curiosity.

Of course, if someone is needy, it doesn't matter what one does, they're going to come off needy.

If she's not interested in seeing what's what, that does not automatically make some guy needy.

What makes a guy needy is his reaction to a girls lack of interest.

209boss · 2016-05-13T17:41:11+00:00

I wouldn't use Models as a pick-up guide. It's a lot of BS and fluffy stuff trying to make you feel good, rather than something based on field experience and proven by dozens/hundreds of guides.

I'd look to RSD / Magic Bullets for some real, PROVEN to work stuff.

Title	I do not understand models honesty/vulnerability - it seems needy to me.
Author	karmacrunch
Upvotes	12
Comments	24
Date	May 13, 2016 11:17 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4j5un2/i_do_not_understand_models_honestyvulnerability/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-do-not-understand-models-honestyvulnerability-it.1406712 https://theredarchive.com/post/1406712

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