I find cold approach easier than social circle

injesterstrust · 2019-02-12T23:12:40+00:00

I know what you mean. It seems so different! There's something 'care free' about hitting on some random girl at a bar (even though it can still be nerve racking). I guess it's that you'll likely never see her again for one.

With something like soccer club, a job etc it can feel like you can't win. It seems super uncalibrated to 'hit on' a girl at, say, your first day at a new soccer club or in a new class at college or at your first day at some job you don't care about. Seems super keen. And it can also seem very out of place in my opinion and I know it creeps some girls out. So the advice about 'showing your intent early' in that doesn't really make sense in that environment. And if you get blown out/rejected, there's now this awkwardness that you can't escape!

And then if you decide to play the long game, it can seem super hard to 'make the move' on a girl who is now kind of a 'friend'. It seems WAY harder to escalate in that situation than some girl you met in a bar 50 mins ago or a girl you met on tinder or whatever. I have friends who have lots of hot girls in their social circles who they'd LOVE to bang, but they have no idea about how to now escalate, and I know how they feel!

I think if it's like a club or a job or somewhere you are going to keep seeing her, it's best to just play the cool guy and try to DHV and basically wait until you are getting signals that she is definitely into you before you do something tbh. That's my take.

chesterfieldelitist · 2019-02-13T04:55:15+00:00

It definitely sucks getting rejected by somebody you'll see again. I'm on team stranger here. There's enough of them to go around.

iamjosan · 2019-02-13T07:05:03+00:00

I used to feel the same way until I realized that everyone is sleeping with each other in the social circle. For my cousin's birthday last year, her and our friends went out to celebrate. There were 5 girls that I had hooked up with all together hanging out and I was still hooking up with 2 of them.

I'm pretty sure they all knew but they still acted like best friends. In these types of situations, being discrete goes a long way.

Authentic2017 · 2019-02-13T00:26:48+00:00

I think it strongly depends on the person. I like social circle or just social settings better cus I can frame it better in the way I want.

On a soccer team example I’d gain passive attraction by just being social and charismatic since I’m a natural extrovert anyways. Let her see me in my “natural habitat” passionately playing soccer, being the centre of attention in social situations.

Then after the 3rd week or so I’d talk to her in s group setting and I’d get everyone’s contact including hers.

Naturally I’d begin teasing her and because I’m teasing her from a place of her already thinking I’m attractive she will begin chasing me.

TheCiph3r · 2019-02-13T05:55:56+00:00

Dafuq, I thought I’m the only one who feels like this. I find it easier to approach strangers since you’ll never see them again unlike in social circles.

Need some advice related to this as well

BishopDayGame · 2019-02-13T06:35:38+00:00

Basic Strategies:

1) Keep up the cold approaching. This is where calibration is built. The timing and the nerves of steel you develop from this will carry over to social circle game.

2) Obviously don't ask for her number if you are around other people, as this can cause her anxiety.

3) Your best bet may be to friend her on Facebook or IG first. I would recommend this as a failsafe. Only when your inner game and calibration are strong, can you bypass this and simply ask for her number first. Instead, message her on social media first and then escalate to the phone number, and then eventually the date. If you're newer or less competent at game, don't rush this phase. Keep your interactions playful and feel her out before trying to connect on FB or IG.

4) If you're new to game, and you can't consistently get numbers every time you approach, then avoid social circle game like the plague. It's not worth it. The risk reward for someone who isn't good at game yet is devastating. Not only can her rejection carry social consequences like rumors with the other girls (thus lowering your chances of dating them), or stepping on someone else's toes (office relationships are common), but it can be even worse. Even if you are good enough to get her number and take her on a date, what happens when you break up? Or if you hit it and quit it? The fallout can be massive, let me tell you!

Title	I find cold approach easier than social circle
Author	nickchabob
Upvotes	11
Comments	10
Date	February 12, 2019 10:05 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/apyy3w/i_find_cold_approach_easier_than_social_circle/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-find-cold-approach-easier-than-social-circle.1462309 https://theredarchive.com/post/1462309

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