I freeze up and forget everything about seduction the second I meet a girl anywhere. Please help.

ThrowawayPUA · 2013-08-24T15:13:09+00:00

You get past it by trying again and again.

It would have been pretty weird if I started to escalate in a room with 6 guys and 2 other girls in this tiny ass room where you can tell everything that's happening.

Yeah, it can be weird. And yet, the guys who get laid are the ones who take chances like this. And ultimately it only matters to the woman. If you succeed, she won't think it's weird.

2013-08-24T15:08:13+00:00

Reading a bunch of facts about how to be more confident and interact with people is fine, but you can't expect to internalize everything right away.

You're like a tourist in another country; only that country is "social and sexual dynamics" and instead of a language translation guide, you're holding a guide with all this material.

Jut like learning French, the only way to internalize it is to keep doing what you're doing and practice. Instead of trying to practice everything at once, start small: "Bonjour"

blehblhabl · 2013-08-24T19:12:45+00:00

imagine you had to learn plumbing. do you think finishing a book that tells you all the steps will mean you can do all those tasks smoothly on 1st go? probably not. what you are is cognitive overload. break it down to steps from beginning until you are comfortable with that stage, and progress/build from there.

Jake_STi-RA · 2013-08-25T04:54:47+00:00

Your mental knowledge is exceeding real world applications.

The bad part about accessing this information on the internet and books is you are so set on just reading away and not bothering going out which reinforces old habits (IE not going out because you think just reading is a justification of staying in).

There's a balance between going out and learning through reading. If you're bent on following all these rules and routines, you'll be a slave to your own mind and too nervous to do anything or have fun.

I have the same problem you do OP. I get nervous and turn into 'boss interviewing future employee' mode because talking too much seems better than awkward silence. It's bad. I forget how to be smooth.

AnimaIgnotum · 2013-08-25T05:19:02+00:00

Same thing happens to me. I either just forget to even try or don't get the balls to do anything. Although the last few times ive tried hitting on girls some my friends all decide to go alpha male/ make fun of me.

Acropolis_ · 2013-08-25T06:56:55+00:00

Sorry for the long post but I know that feel bro haha, this was the best way for me to deal with it

Take advantage of any social circle you already have with your friends. If you have friends who are girls (even if they have bf) practice the type of banter you would want to do on a girl in a club/street/party. Obviously you don't want to come across as flirting or overtly sexual but it really does help if you are way too nervous or shy. I did this for a while in my social group, and became better friends with the girls in my group and also felt a lot more comfortable in communicating and even a little bit of kino with other women.

eg of one thing I remember was while just taking a walk with friendly banter just push the girl away or gently into an oncoming tree. An experiment of mine but the girls nearly always came back laughing and trying to push me. A perfect example of practicing general conversation and kino. Now if I do that to another girl I'll end the dispute when she tries to push me back by just taking her hand. This is what I mean by practicing your moves on friends but leaving out the part that separates it from being a 'move'

Tickler3 · 2013-08-24T17:48:10+00:00

Interacting with girls has to be an organic thing that just flows from your emotions; it can't be a list of "strategies" that you are carrying out. These techniques are helpful, but you can't walk around with them in your head all night cuz its too much information. Just try to have organic, natural conversations with girls and then if a situation comes up where you can use a technique, do it, but don't force it.

psyocal · 2013-08-24T18:53:02+00:00

Being at ease with women comes with experience. Be glad that you went through this awkward situation! There are many more to come in your journey, just embrace the losses, they will help you in the future.

Have you considered trying to be completely honest:

I couldn't fucking think. Not to mention, we were in an awkward ass situation.

Next time say, 'I am so damn nervous, it's not even funny'

this will at least change the topic of conversation, you might even start talking about how you get nervous around women or in social gatherings etc...it will make you interesting.

We were in a tiny apartment with about 6 other guys, and we were all at least a little high. The second they walked through the door I started slamming shots because I had no confidence just to talk to them.

"I actually had to down half a dozen shots just so I could speak. Interviews are a nightmare for me."

If I heard that from a dude at a party, I'd laugh (but not at him) and I'd try and see what he was all about. This way, the conversation won't be an awkward interview but it would force you to put the spotlight on your weakness. They won't even believe you when they hear you're talking about your supposed weakness.

JihadDerp · 2013-08-25T00:07:17+00:00

(Past, not passed)

Practice one thing at a time. Day 1: make 10 approaches. Day 2: make 10 approaches and try to build rapport. Day 3: make 10 approaches, try to build rapport, and try to get a number. Day 4: (Days 1-3) and try to get a kiss close. Day 5: (Days 1-4) and try to isolate to a seduction location....

You get the idea. Take it one thing at a time. I'm trying to learn JavaScript right now. Do you think if I read a book straight through and then try to write a program, I'm going to succeed? No. I need to master chapter 1 tonight. Chapter 2 tomorrow. Chapter 3 the next day....

Title	I freeze up and forget everything about seduction the second I meet a girl anywhere. Please help.
Author	aboss23
Upvotes	10
Comments	14
Date	August 24, 2013 2:46 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1l05q5/i_freeze_up_and_forget_everything_about_seduction/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-freeze-up-and-forget-everything-about-seduction.1357356 https://theredarchive.com/post/1357356

Comments