I got shot down after 4 dates. Here's how it happened and how I reacted.

Bitterposer · 2014-05-08T13:30:24+00:00

Too cringy to read, but I can tell from your first text you were acting too needy and aggressive.

Look, when you're dating a girl she has to be qualifying HERSELF to YOU. You can't make it clear you're all in. She loses interest. She has to keep thinking that you may not want her, or that you may end it, etc...

Drunk_Don_Draper · 2014-05-08T13:41:32+00:00

Beta as fuck. Should've closed the messaging app immediately after you apologized for possibly rushing her, and came back to it in a day or two, if at all.

SonofLelith · 2014-05-08T14:05:11+00:00

Don't apologise for anything, unless you have really wronged someone and wants forgiveness.

When you're met with flimsyness or uncertainty, you must be the certain one. Take control of the situation and steer them where you want it to go. You find out soon enough if she into it/with you or not. If you're met with a negative reponse when taking control, distance yourself from her a little and step down your emotional engagement.

STOP FUCKING TEXTING. Be a real person and TALK to her face to face. You are missing out on what she's really saying by not being face to face with her and witness her bodylanguage. 70 % of a persons message is conveyed through meta-communication.

legendoflink3 · 2014-05-08T13:45:01+00:00

Clearly the mistakes were made before the texting. You lost her interest somewhere.

Awston · 2014-05-08T15:40:27+00:00

I cringed so hard reading this. I thought your texts were a joke but there was no punchline. You come off as super clingy, man.

pimpin8ez · 2014-05-08T15:50:27+00:00

"This is how you shoot yourself down"

roflsups · 2014-05-08T13:54:16+00:00

Ouch man, that was a hard one to read. Before you do anything sit back and ask yourself is this going to make her want to sleep with me.. Chances are " Hey you're a good kisser :P holler at me that's southern for i'm Beta as fuck :D ;D!!!!" Isn't.. She's completely writing you off and you're commending her for it, you probably did fuck this up before this conversation happened so at least find a way to have fun with it and go out with your balls in your hands, not hers.

whatdoy0uknow · 2014-05-08T13:39:25+00:00

law of least effort anyone?

itsmevichet · 2014-05-08T13:58:41+00:00

The spirit is right (lack of negativity), but you could have said it all in a lot fewer words.

If I had to guess, you were really concerned about what she thought of you - not in the "am I attracted to him" way, but in the "is he a good guy" way.

Nothing wrong with being a good guy, but pushing that angle has little to do with attraction.

XSShadow · 2014-05-08T14:11:35+00:00

cringe

EDIT: Are your texts always as long as this? I think brevity would really help your cause.

2014-05-08T14:16:52+00:00

She clearly doesn't know what she wants, she even said that. Women don't know what they want and so do people.

If you want her, just tell her that you don't think you guys rushed it and that you guys should go on a date on Thursday or something.

People like it when other make the choice for them.

Title	I got shot down after 4 dates. Here's how it happened and how I reacted.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	0
Comments	14
Date	May 8, 2014 1:22 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/251ezw/i_got_shot_down_after_4_dates_heres_how_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-got-shot-down-after-4-dates-heres-how-it.1370462 https://theredarchive.com/post/1370462

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