Title may be bit misleading but I've been struggling quite a bit lately and it's all to do with my confidence in myself and my inability to act.

I'm 20 years old, like 6'5, in alright shape and a decent face. I've slept with 10 women and been in a relationship for 3 years (exclusive). I left that relationship in January and over these past few months I've come to the realisation that I need to be better with women. I've only ever asked one woman on a date and the resulting relationship at 16 years old was really quite painful, and well I've never approached anyone since, not in a club, in a bar, in person, in a friend group, ever.... I haven't made the first move or even talked to a stranger since.

I'm honestly fine once I have a reason to talk to someone. I've been reading models by Mark manson and I think one of my strong suits is my communication once I'm actually 'in' with a woman. And this has basically happened with any woman I've had something with. They will initiate at the start and the rest will go quite smoothly. But I despise the fact that I can't talk to someone I find attractive, I feel unable to go up to them and I'm tired of going out and waiting for someone to pick me.

I've gotten past the section in manson's book about erasing approach anxiety and I'll try to act on it by just trying to talk to more random people. I think ultimately I am just massively insecure without any real reasons to back up my feeling that way and I need to change, for myself.

An example was just a couple of weeks ago, went out drinking for the first time in a 2 months with a group of friends. These girls then sat down next to us and started talking, I went to the bar and this one girl followed me and asked what I was having to drink and from there we were talking alone for an hour. She then joined my friend group for the rest of the night and was touchy, which I reciprocated and then walked her and her friend home after a night of just touchiness. She then invited me out the next night to go clubbing with her friends, again, I didn't initiate anything. She kissed me, she was touching me, she asked to come to mine.

I hated not having control over this situation, not every girl is like her and has the confidence to make those moves. And I certainly don't, if she didn't have that courage I wouldn't have met her, learnt about her, slept with her and everything in between. I hate that there are times when I've gone out that I could have gotten to know a new person but my own insecurities and inside voice have prevented it.

I actually want to feel like I earnt something, I want to go home with someone, make out with someone or become friends with someone knowing that it couldn't have happened without me. Right now, I'm just lucky to be born the way I was, and I don't want that to define me.

No matter how many posts, guides, comments, megathreads I read, I just can't seem to get out of my head about going and talking to someone new.

In the next couple of weeks I will be moving in with my sister, we'll be going out every weekend with her friends and I won't have an opportunity this good for quite some time to get to know new people. The next time I'm at a club I think the best move would be to bring cigarettes and try to improve my anxiety in the smoking area as its quite a bit more social and relaxed.

I'm struggling with this quite a lot just now. If anyone has been through something similar or can give any advice please do. Thank you