I just can't do it

seduction-ModTeam · 2024-12-29T20:34:53+00:00

This post is being taken down because it violates Rule #4: Keep it civil and on topic.

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slycemedia · 2024-12-29T08:18:24+00:00

It’s not about growing balls n overcoming anything bro. She’s just a chick, regular gal. Yeah she might be attractive but she also probably bites her toenails off. Just go up n be normal. You could even say ‘you’re pretty but I bet you do weird shit like bite your toenails’ she’ll probably laugh 🤣 anyway, I’ve been there bruh. Don’t take it too seriously, supposed you mess up another hot girl will walk by and you can just try again w more experience

Emperor_Time · 2024-12-29T09:22:12+00:00

I understand the feeling since this happen to me a lot.

caesarca · 2024-12-29T08:17:34+00:00

The only way to stop feeling this way about yourself is to just jump into the fire even if you're scared. You can just start by just saying hi to them hell even guys as well. You've created this cage for yourself in your mind that limits you from the possibilities of what could be and the only way to break out is first recognize this (and it seems like you have, that's good) and secondly just do it you will be okay.

epimpstyle · 2024-12-29T10:12:17+00:00

- Any dating bootcamp will solve your problem in a single day, why? Because "monkey see, monkey do", you see a bunch of guys approaching girls and slowly you gain "courage". I am not promoting such a service, but it is a quick way to your problem, but it is also expensive (if you can afford it, why not)

- If you have a friend with you, it is still easier to approach girls, but only if your friend also wants to approach girls, he can't talk about football/hobbies and then you suddenly approach the first girl you see. This works by encouraging each other and even making all kinds of bets - if you don't approach a girl in the next 15 minutes, you need to do 10 pushups on the street in a crowded place. Or if this is too easy, give your friend a $100 bill and if you don't talk to a girl in the next 30 minutes, he can keep the money. Maybe you will say "oh, that's silly" but honestly your "problem" is also a silly one, you can fix a silly problem just with silly solutions.

- If you are single, is another story and a long one, is about mindset, and different small things you need to do progressively.

Kofuku- · 2024-12-29T12:37:09+00:00

I think this might help. You’re gonna die in 2025. It’s basically now or never. Die embarrassed, weak and single? Or just approach the girl, see where the conversation goes, and you JUST might not end up dying alone.

Grandroots · 2024-12-29T09:22:25+00:00

You're putting too much pressure on yourself. All of this is supposed to be fun otherwise it's not sustainable. It's not a black or white thing either, it's a path. Are you able to return eyecontact? Great! Give them a smile? You could also experiment with signalling them to approach you.

DSkyUI · 2024-12-29T08:15:56+00:00

Do it with a wingman, a friend whose relationship starts precisely because you want to approach women together, and not one of your AFC friends, or your regular friend circle. And so it when you’re not drunk as well as meditation prior to the search with the mantra that is ok to be excited and you will be excited and embarrassed, have acceptance with it.

That’s it man, another alternative if needed just have a rule where on the weekends you now spend time alone in a mall or something just sitting there until you feel comfortable in that territory, then approach can be easier. Take the steps right at the edge, start imagining you talk to the girl right before she’s about to pass by you, do this long enough until you actually do it irl.

Dandys3107 · 2024-12-29T10:26:32+00:00

Start with something small, approach to ask for time, directions, give out some compliments. It's not that rare that some girls will try to lead the interaction further and you can make something more out of it. Don't create such attitude that you have to do something and achieve specific outcome, you should enjoy casual interactions with women and improving your game.

whateverbro3425 · 2024-12-29T11:32:28+00:00

do you go out alone or with friends? im kinda the same way. But when i do get numbers, it never works out anyway.

Amaran345 · 2024-12-29T18:46:41+00:00

Fearful-avoidant attachment, you are interested in women, but due to fears, you can't approach, and prefer to avoid them, and then you become angry at yourself due to being beaten by your emotions, and this will repeat as a perpetual cycle unless you heal it and become secure, with therapy or self-therapy.

Don't focus on approaching yet, focus on managing anxiety and fears, particularly on developing strategies that don't involve avoidance. You will win this battle by learning how to manage your emotions, like anxiety, fear and anger, when you get those in check, you will be able to approach all day long.

When you become secure, you may think something like "ah, my fear is telling me to run away, but i'll approach, i know that i'll be fine, and if something goes wrong, i'll handle it", your mindset will become highly resistant to be controlled by your feelings and emotions

KoleSekor · 2024-12-29T20:27:38+00:00

Have you ever asked yourself why you freeze up? Why you're so afraid?

The amygdala, deep in our ancient brain, has been biologically programmed through evolution to warn us to not take social risks, because in most of human history, approaching women could be a life or death issue for men...

But today? It's absolutely not. Approaching a woman will no longer lead to your death. You could be rejected, even in the most epically awful way, and it could "hurt" your ego, but you'll literally be able to walk away and be perfectly fine.

So control your amygdala. Greet it and reframe it as excitement. And also reframe rejection as her loss and as a learning lesson for you.

durkiobro · 2024-12-29T09:37:29+00:00

Honestly, it’s practice. I still miss a lot of opportunities but you just gotta do it and as you keep going, it gets easier.

Various_Movie_1889 · 2024-12-29T12:36:38+00:00

Ask yourself this question:

1) What do you gain from not approaching them ?

Let the answer that comes out naturally be the answer, don't try to filter it.

2) What do you lose from not approaching them ?

Then

3) What do you gain from approaching them ?

you'll start to understand the underlying mechanics of your mind from these questions, once you understand your own mind, you can reconfigure it...

Title	I just can't do it
Author	PlaneAfraid9777
Upvotes	41
Comments	21
Date	December 29, 2024 7:56 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1horbf0/i_just_cant_do_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-just-cant-do-it.1539808 https://theredarchive.com/post/1539808

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