I keep getting attached..

HeatDeathIsCool · 2012-02-05T09:26:42+00:00

Maybe you're just not the kind of guy that can have casual sex without having it mean something. Try having sex with a hot chick that you really hate and can't stand. Either you won't want to date her after, or you do indeed have a problem.

FriedBacon86 · 2012-02-05T12:54:56+00:00

For me it goes either way, after I have sex with a women I either want to marry her (figuratively) or I never want to see her again. Because of that I've found myself chasing after women who I had no business chasing after: strippers, models, bar-stars who were NOT attachment material, yet I got attached.

So here goes some tips for making things become exclusive/serious if that is what you want, and remember, there is nothing wrong with this if that's what you want.

I heard somewhere (don't cite me on this!) it takes a women sleeping with a man on average 3 times to become attached/possibly fall for him. ALWAYS cuddle after sex; the oxytocin released in a women's body after sex will make her feel warm and fuzzy and she will become classically conditioned. Whether or not she wants casual sex or a relationship she will associate you with that warm fuzzy feeling. As my behaviourism professor used to say "Classical condition happens with or without your consent and with or without your awareness". Powerful stuff.

Also be honest and up front about your intentions (this is also solid advice against being friendzoned) if you've already set the attraction in motion, and maybe slept with her, make it clear that you are interested in more, and if she isn't willing to give that to you then you will stop sleeping with her. The old adage is true here, risk losing to gain.

Finally try attracting a different type of girl, early on in interactions detect what she is looking for and if she isn't what you want, don't waste your time.

I am currently in a situation in which I am questioning what I want and need. I have found myself in a relationship, after sleeping with her the first time I found myself incredibly attached. But after being in a relationship now for a month and a half I am confused and not sure of what I want. I need to figure my shit out too!

pomofundies · 2012-02-05T09:13:05+00:00

People come in many different varieties genetically. Men apparently have approximately a dozen frequencies of oxytocin receptors, which is called the love chemical. It is also suspected to be linked to comfort in familiarity. Just a thought, but don't fight against your biology too hard.

Raptor97 · 2012-02-05T08:30:45+00:00

Well, it sounds like you've already conquered many women, which is more than many can say. Maybe your body is telling you fuck fuck fuck, but your mind is more mature than you realize and is trying to make you settle down for a bit?

I know how you feel. There have been times for me that as soon as I get intimate, I'm like dang, I'd like to spend time with her. This girl you're talking about...you're saying you want to date her because you like her, but you're not sure if you want to, because you wanna fuck other women? All I can say is that you have to come to a decision about whether you wanna keep having fun, or try and settle down. But it sounds like you've got much more maturity than most because you're naturally inclined to not be that 'fuck and leave you' kinda guy, which is good.

yenners · 2012-02-06T00:44:48+00:00

Sounds like you and this dude (http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/pcatb/i_feel_like_im_addicted_to_the_chase/) need to trade dicks.

bunnysaur · 2012-02-06T03:14:12+00:00

I think that's awesome. why not just date some one?

Title	I keep getting attached..
Author	yenners
Upvotes	12
Comments	28
Date	February 5, 2012 5:12 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/pbiyq/i_keep_getting_attached/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-keep-getting-attached.1327916 https://theredarchive.com/post/1327916

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