I make it impossible for myself to spark something with women I like. Please help me I'm desperate.

falconclutch · 2019-01-19T23:04:55+00:00

Hey! Firstly, I want to say everything will be okay. You're in high school and still developing into the person you're going to be. I know what you're feeling because I have been in your shoes. My advice would be to focus on yourself and not at all in seeking a relationships. I know it seems counter intuitive but trust me it's for the better. Pick up some hobbies. Read some books. Try saying yes to things you would normally say no to such as outings with friends ect. These things will build up your confidence and confidence is one of the sexiest characteristics a man can have. You will naturally start attracting people.

My second piece of advice is to be more honest. Don't try and impress people with a version of yourself you think they might like. Be yourself and you'll be happier. Hand in hand with honesty is communication skill. Making it clear with what you want will yield a better outcome.

I noticed that you said you haven't talked to your mother in a long time and your father treats you less than a son. You're not alone. A lot of people feel this way. You want to be loved, everyone does. You have to love yourself first and then find love within someone else. This is important because if you don't love yourself first, you might fall into a relationship that ends up being toxic and unable to leave because you yearn the closeness of another person.

You'll be okay! and you will find love. If you ever need someone to talk to just PM me. :)

Caimthehero · 2019-01-20T00:25:50+00:00

Ok Tom Hanks MegaFan this is what you need to do. Get off your deserted island that is your head. Go through the beaches of Normandy and realize the worst thing that can happen is you get rejected (way better than death like if you were in D-Day). You have to be dedicated to getting better, unwilling to leave your terminal for years if that's what it takes. Get it together sheriff and be the person Andy needs you to be. When the people tell you to stop you remember that you need to be better, that you'll never look back, and keep running Forrest.

WiseGene · 2019-01-20T03:10:17+00:00

Hey man. A girlfriend should be low on your list of priorities ATM. Can you get a part time job outside of school and earn a bit of income? You can get online counselling without needing your dads approval, and its relatively cheap. But take the time to sit down, list all the problems in your life, and come up with solutions, or at least ways of minimising each item on your list. That way, it becomes more of a puzzle that your rational mind can attempt at solving.

Chabubu · 2019-01-20T06:18:44+00:00

I posted this on another thread where someone was asking for input, but it applies here also:

You need to read some books that give you perspective on male/female mindset, what women find attractive.

Read the following books:

) The subtle art of not giving a fuck - Mark Manson

This one is not about women and relationships but is about being less high strung and worried about negative things that can happen in your life. You should to start with this one because it will help chill you out with regards to problems and women. You need to really internalize this first before moving on to the steps on how to get and attract women. So start with this book.

2.) How to be a 3% Man - Corey Wayne

This guy isn't a pickup or game coach and a lot of people shit on his material, but it's practical advice on how women think and how to communicate with them that you can actually apply. It has helped me come across as more confident with women, and has helped me entirely avoid arguments/disagreements in my relationships and maintain attraction. Understanding the female mindset will help with confidence.

3.) The way of the superior man - David Deida

This spells out exactly what women find attractive in men, and what men need to do to have a fulfilling life. It's about finding and living your purpose, and a guy with purpose is a real turn on for women. A must read.

4) Models - Mark Manson

This book I have not read but it gets a lot of favorable reviews on how to communicate with women and be yourself.

You read those books, take notes and apply the content, and you'll be further ahead than most guys in understanding women and relationships.

You may feel lonely, anxious, and shy, but set yourself some personal development goals. This way you don't feel helpless. Having goals keeps you focused and moving forward. Failure is feedback on how you need to improve, not a reason to hate yourself.

Try a 2 year goal, far enough away that literally anything can be achieved, but not so soon that it feels unlikely to reach and you give up.

Tell yourself you're "I'm going to do whatever it takes to become the kind of man that can attract the women and relationships that I desire."

Then start reading, working out, working on yourself, and pushing yourself to grow and overcome you challenges. Don't even think about women during this time. Your goal is to "become the man" not attract women. Before you realize it, you'll see yourself becoming that man, and then you'll realize you can do anything and start setting bigger goals for yourself.

If you find any of this info helpful, I can provide more suggestions, just let me know. When I was your age I had a speech impediment, zero friends, hated myself and was suicidal. I didn't have a girlfriend until in my 20s. 10 years later I love my life, have a great job, nice houses, and a gorgeous/successful girlfriend.

skatinislife446 · 2019-01-20T01:31:06+00:00

Holy shit dude, until you said you were in high school, I thought it was a post from someone 30+. It sucks your parents aren’t more supportive. I highly recommend talking to a school counselor or psychologist.

You don’t need love from another woman. You could possibly set yourself up for disaster if a woman gave you the love you seek and then broke up with you at some point. Take some of the other commenters advice and learn to love yourself, even if it’s as a way to prevent future heartbreak.

Mr_Lonely_Heart_Club · 2019-01-20T02:40:59+00:00

Fuck everything. You need to learn to love yourself. Hit the gym. Focus all your time and energy on becoming a better you. Make yourself someone you want to be around and people will want to be around you.

Hit the gym, hard. Seriously, ages 15-19 can get fucking ripped in a matter of a couple of months. Read, a lot. Go out and do things. Join the football team at school.

You're too young to give up. Get a job. Friends and all of that come from experience, in my opinion. You'll learn social skills better just by putting yourself out there. High school is the best time to practice because you will never see 95% of those people ever again. Go to college out of state and never look back.

Avataroffaith · 2019-01-20T02:43:01+00:00

I recommend you check Nick Vujicic videos on Youtube. He is not a pick up artist or something, he is a disable man who was born without limbs and managed to get married, have two children and make a lot of money. He wrote a book about his view on how to overcome bad times. I read his book and watched his vids and opened my mind a lot. I recommend you do so.

abandonliberty · 2019-01-20T02:53:05+00:00

> I'm in highschool

You're much better off first seeking non-romantic love. Romantic love is a motherfucker, and your situation will make it even more difficult.

Try finding someone at your school who can support. I had a really good teacher who helped me out at one point.

And if you really insist, read models. Here's the study guide for it. Most people have to work on themselves first, and you're no exception. Good luck. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Lk_pclTAYVLZaV8kSXPF7CacLYKzUrqxcKktk_BmTxE/edit

Weles2k · 2019-01-20T07:50:19+00:00

First of all dont worry. Everything will work out fine. You will be alright. I know the feeling bro. As for now focus on physical excercises. Preferably martial arts. This will give you a boost of confidence and new friends. Dont worry that you are weak. They will make you strong and accept you as you are believe me. I recommend that you read a book by Anthony Robbins "Unleash the giant within". This book helped me alot. It will change the way you think about yourself and how you perceive the world. As for sparking a connection with women read "The Natural" by Richard la Ruina. This book contains tips on conversation as well as on how to appear like an alpha (posture, gestures etc.) Therapy is always a good thing. If you get the money for that go asap. Try someone that has many different therapy types as skills like f.e. Gestalt. I dont know how it is at your country but in mine schools have therapists. Check yours. Highschool may be a hell for some. It was for me :) I turned out just fine and even better than the people that I looked up to as a teenager. You are still learning and shaping your personality. You can be a different person in 6 months just keep working and give yourself time. Nothing changes overnight. Stay strong. Good luck :)

denverwind1 · 2019-01-20T11:51:53+00:00

Make simple conversation with random people throughout your day. Male or female from 9-99. Be honest. Be your true self. You'll be amazed by the wonderful people you'll meet. That way when your around an attractive female your positive energy will flow naturally. Everyone picks up on vibes from others. That's the spark your looking for. Let yours be comforting VIBES.

Title	I make it impossible for myself to spark something with women I like. Please help me I'm desperate.
Author	Tomhanksmegafan
Upvotes	29
Comments	11
Date	January 19, 2019 10:43 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ahr84a/i_make_it_impossible_for_myself_to_spark/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-make-it-impossible-for-myself-to-spark-something.1460821 https://theredarchive.com/post/1460821

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