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[–]islandofcaucasus 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm impressed with the effort you're putting in. Half of us never get as far as you have. Keep that up and I see no reason why you're not back here soon with a success story
[–]ColdIceBreak 3 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
I think your looks are fine - tall, not fat and reasonably handsome. Also your converstaion skills seem to be on point in terms of socializing so yeah.. I would also assume flirting is your problem.
Flirting is playfully teasing the girl like you would bust balls with your friends.
Try holding eye contact few seconds longer than is comfortable - this create sexual tension which is really important for flirting and making her understand that you want her more than just a friend.
You can also make double meaning sexual undertone jokes (but not blatant ones and try to keep it at a minimum or zero at the start).
If you want then I got a lot of support from reading this book when I got back into the dating.
Helped me a lot in terms of approaching girls, keeping interactions going, flirting, asking for a date etc..
Keep going, it's not that easy at first but the more you practice the better u get u know :)
[–]FaithInStrangers94 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What do you talk about with a girl at bar?
Topics like work, study, news, what she’s drinking seem too boring.
Topics like interests and passions or their views on things seem too personal for someone you’ve just met in a bar
Sexual topics seem too slimy
I’m not even a bad conversationalist I just have no idea what to talk about at a bar or club
[–]ShouldersofGiants555 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is where some of the RSD material comes in handy.
If nothing else, they're masters at this kind of shit.. lol
And you can see it when they're on stage. They can talk endlessly about nothing
https://youtu.be/LKAvQYCKhhM
[–]spacemangoes 13 points14 points15 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Forget about flirting. First you need to believe that you can get girls. And you should believe that girls want to get with you. Now, if you tell yourself this, nothing changes, the belief solidifies from experience. Your brain and sub conscious mind needs this proof. And the only way to get it through success. Once you have it. You’ll become a seduction npc. Basically you can do all the things that other comments mentioned. Just look at a girl with a smirk whilst your body is straight and your fingers are not trembling and your facial muscles are not twitching, this creates mystery like a thick gravy sauce.
[–]FaithInStrangers94 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Well that’s a catch-22 isn’t it?
You need to believe you can get girls by proving it by getting a lot of girls, but in order to get girls you need to believe that you can get girls
[–]spacemangoes 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes. This is why, it’s better to start doing something cringy rather than staying at home from analysis paralysis. Over time, you’ll reach equilibrium between the two
[–]ShouldersofGiants555 25 points26 points27 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Abstain from jerking your hog for 3 weeks
Lift heavy weights
Then repeat
You'll be 2-3x more likely to see a spark (bro science)
Hard to create chemistry when you're a limp dick
[–]latte_raz 8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Agreed. Good job op for going out by yourself! Most people can't do that. Side note don't get too dependent on alcohol when you go out. Keep it up!
[–]FaithInStrangers94 8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
See I’ll go out, shoot my shot, get nothing then head home and jack off, I probably jack off every 2nd day, and never really realised that could be killing my desire to flirt with women. Obviously you still need to be subtle and respectful and can’t just come at them like a horny demon though
[–]ShouldersofGiants555 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You can abstain for months. It doesn't mean you're coming at anyone like a horny demon..
That energy gets transmuted into your overall game.
Humor, confidence, tone of voice, eye contact, etc.
And yeah, its night and day. If I'm jerking off every second day, which does happen, you're just numb.
Not even just women, but everything. Music doesnt hit the same, simple things that would normally give you a hit of dopamine do nothing.
It's like when you've been scrolling through 500 tabs on the internet, youtube, insta and then go out into the world. Nothing really hits the same because you've been flooding your brain with dopamine and providing instant gratification to your reward centers all day.
Like a drug addiction.
It's similar with porn / jerking off.
That's why the 180 is so drastic when you've abstained for a bit.
Every touch, time you hold hands with a chick, kiss her..if you're abstaining, controlling your sexual energy and dopamine stimulus, it would feel like having sex when you're jerking off every second day.
Which is how it should be.
Like when you're a kid and the first time you seen titties, it's like a jolt of lighting. You can't even handle it.
It's that raw energy that pulls girls. You could do / say everything wrong and she'll still feel it.
Most men underestimate how powerful that shit Is and waste it.
It's like a bank account. Eventually that well runs dry and women are always the first to know.
[–]Used-Engineering4996 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
See for me that seems like it would make talking to women even more overwhelming for me, but I already can’t seem to do it and I do jack off a lot. I’ve been trying to quit but it really is an addiction.
[–]Senior-Dot387 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Do you ask the girls for their number? You’re already approaching, you’re good at making conversation with them, all you’re missing is the confirmation of whether or not they’re attracted to you. You can get this by asking for the number
[–]ozzzy83 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Dude, you can't just approach, have a neutral safe talk, and expect her to feel attracted? Spark attraction by being ballsy, flirt with her, etc. The boring safe talk will always leave them feeling neutral thus excusing themselves. Make them feel special and wanted. They just react to how you make them FEEL.
[–]Aychaq1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Your problem is that you are trying, stop trying enjoy the time enjoy the convo, don't even talk with women who didn't start the conversation or didn't seem they want to have a conversation with you (eye contact). Women should choose you if they don't they will think of themselves having higher value than you (they will not respect you) they will always feel that they can do better than you even if they give you a chance unless if she discovers the opposite (the opposite depends on what she value)
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[–]islandofcaucasus 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ColdIceBreak [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]FaithInStrangers94 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ShouldersofGiants555 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]spacemangoes 13 points14 points15 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]FaithInStrangers94 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]spacemangoes 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ShouldersofGiants555 25 points26 points27 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]latte_raz 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]FaithInStrangers94 8 points9 points10 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]ShouldersofGiants555 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Used-Engineering4996 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Senior-Dot387 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ozzzy83 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Aychaq1 point [recovered] | Copy Link