I suck at physical escalation.

canarywocoalmine · 2019-02-24T01:14:43+00:00

Ok dude, this is easy. They call it 'escalation' cause it starts minimally and increases. My first move with everyone, men included (no, not gay, but no reason to not touch). Say something you mean to be funny (doesnt even have to be funny, humor comes with practice), anyway, say something funny and bump the other person lightly with your elbow. It can literally even be noticing something, bump her with your elbow lightly and say "oh my God, look at the shoes that douche is wearing" (preferably point at someone that looks like a douche). Look for a reaction, if she laughs and doesnt seem bothered by the elbow bump, you've touched her.

Next, look for things to touch. I love your necklace, scoop it of her chest, be careful to not touch to boobs of course, what's its story. Or wow, I love your ring and take her hand. You are basically creating an excuse to touch.

Another great example, I do a HIIT workout, you end up with a partner but the workout is so hard you cant even speak to them. At the end after staring at this chicks body for 45 minutes, she was very close even tho again, not able to talk due to intensity. Class finishes and shes right in front of me and I say, "holy shit, your back is amazing" and I touch her lower back. She says thanks, smiled and sort of wiggles her whole torso is an intentionally sexy manner.

Several big tips. 1. 1st touch should be innocent, sexless and works best if you create a reason. 2. Subsequent touches can increase in intensity, slowly. 3. Gauge the reaction always. If she winces, back up. If she doesn't react badly, keep going slowly. 4. To make it easier, become the guy that shakes hands, hugs, touches a forearm when making a point, even remove lint or a hair from someone. You'll just get a lot more comfortable with touch.

wowzacowza · 2019-02-24T01:24:39+00:00

One thing I've found that helps is to make physical contact early on. Just a casual brush of her hand or arm, find some excuse to make contact right at the beginning of the interaction. The reason has to do with something I actually posted about not too long ago, a sales concept called compliance. To put it simply, when someone says yes to something (or implicitly agrees to it), they are more likely to continue saying yes.

If you just casually brush her hand, she is NOT going to freak out at you. I've done it hundreds of times, and never had a girl freak out. Had a few girls tell me they're very sensitive to being touched (which is totally fine, if they tell you that, respect it and don't touch them), but it never ruined a conversation. Once she has basically agreed to that, then you escalate from there. Go from touching her hand to her arm, then her shoulder, then her back, then her thigh, etc. Follow the physical escalation alongside the escalation of the conversation and your attraction, compatibility, and comfort.

If you are talking to a girl for an hour without touching her a single time, even if the conversation is going great, you go to rub her thigh she's probably going have a knee jerk reaction. Because you haven't touched her once and now all of a sudden you're going for gold. Or, you've been talking to a girl for an hour, conversation is going great, the conversation is hot and heavy.... and you go to hold her hand. You feel that disconnect? She will too.

Escalate from the start. Within ten seconds. Don't allow yourself to NOT escalate. It'll happen naturally from there, I promise you.

hfthomas · 2019-02-24T18:39:21+00:00

Congratulations on how far you have come! Its such a good feeling! There are good tips here already. I want to say this: The reason you are having trouble escalating is the same reason you had trouble with approaching and number closing earlier. Its a form of approach anxiety. Lets just call it escalation anxiety. You are afraid of what will happen "if you do this or that". So if you have good systems on how you got rid of the approach anxiety, I would use that over again on the "escalation anxiety"

Diffraculator · 2019-02-23T22:54:17+00:00

I pray to be as brave as you are!

canarywocoalmine · 2019-02-24T00:28:07+00:00

[permanently deleted]

GucciGuac · 2019-02-27T10:50:45+00:00

Hey man getting into physical escalation is not so hard once you practice it more. it's simple if you see it from my prescriptive. people will tell you, "you'll know when" or "just go for it". this is completely wrong. Your eyes, her and your actions are key to know when to kiss a woman. One of the first things is to analyze how close she is to you. (Close Proximity) Women who are close to men is because she feels comfortable around him or likes him. The 2nd step is to anaylyze what she is doing when she is talking to you. If she is playing with her hair and has not bothered to bust out her phone infront of you while you all are talking that is another good sign. Third would be too see if she is comfortable you touching her. One of the few things i do is say "my hands are cold can I put my hand here". "Here" would be somewhere on her legs or on one of her hands. if she comfortable with you touching her than thats another good sign but what makes me go for the kiss, is if she lets me touch her face or hair. A girl who isn't attractive to you would not let you do that to her. Once she lets touch her face or hair i go in for the kiss. This how my typical first dates go. It's important to kiss on the first date because it communicates to her your confidence and lets her know what your intentions are. Good Luck!

Title	I suck at physical escalation.
Author	runningwiththebulls
Upvotes	19
Comments	20
Date	February 23, 2019 10:14 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/au0tq5/i_suck_at_physical_escalation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-suck-at-physical-escalation.1463055 https://theredarchive.com/post/1463055

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