I’ve decided to really go for it. Although good-looking girls seemingly are interested in me, and will approach me, I suck at escalating. For that reason, it’s like groundhogs day. I get in an intimate/sensual conversation with a hot girl, but then after some time she realizes I don’t have the balls to escalate. As soon as that happens, she gets disappointed and loses interest. So I’ve decided to focus on exactly those situations I have trouble escalating in (engaging physically with a girl while dancing, going for the kiss, escalating to sex) and just going for it so that I can improve.

The first one I am trying is dancing, physically, so like grinding/leading, with a girl. This one has been really frustrating for me because I love dancing and hot women will approach me on the dance floor. But just like usual, I’ll get excited but won’t build up the nerve to ever really go for it. Or I’ll do it in a really shy way till she notices I once again, don’t have any balls, and will lose interest.

So this weekend I’m in SF and I’ll go out with a friend to the bars/clubs or wherever I can dance with a girl so I can focus on this. The idea is I’m going to approach a girl (I’ll try to go for someone not so attractive because I tend to go for the hottest girl in the room, which probably makes things harder), and after talking I’ll ask her to dance. Once getting to the dance floor, the plan is to get right into it and engaging physically with her. Depending on the vibe of the music, I’ll decide how I want to do that. If it’s clubby music, usual grinding situation is the go to (with a bit of rhythm and class). If it’s something less clubby, I’ll do more leading, holding her hand and twirling her. The important thing is that I go for it. I think a good idea for engaging physically with a girl is a tip from the film Hitch. Go 90-10. Go 90%, and let her come in the extra 10%. Whether that’s a kiss, or dancing sensually with a girl, I think that’s fair advice for not coming on too strong, and not coming on too timid.

Wish me luck!