Introvert struggle is real

Offsubject · 2016-06-09T00:27:12+00:00

You're underestimating the power of being an introvert. You don't have to say much. Hold strong, damn near creepy eye contact, and SLOW....down.................... your speech. The biggest problem I see from you is your lack of logistics.

"Forget logistics, you lose." - Lt. Gen. Fredrick Franks, USA, 7th Corps Commander, Desert Storm

fezzesarecool4768 · 2016-06-08T19:19:45+00:00

Listen more, and let her do most of the talking - people feel closer to those who listen to them rather than talk their heads off.

Enjoy the silence. You don't have to always speak. Talk to her with your body language - face her, point/direct your shoulders towards her, touch her/grab her hand, bump her teasingly, look her in the eye, and illicit her to speak again.

If you want more to talk about, then just have a go to of three things to talk about that you like. Example: 1) Favorite new TV Show/Movie, 2) (New) Hobby/Activity/Sport you like, and 3) showing her a lame magic trick

maxripley · 2016-06-08T23:57:03+00:00

I'm not sure if the problem is that you are introvert, or shy/insecure.

I am a classic introvert, but compared to big mingle parties, I love having more meaningful conversations with one person at a time. If you are like me, it helps to actually try to get to know the other person on a personal level. Get personal, and when the topic becomes more interesting than what her plans are for the weekend, you might find it easier to talk.

Edit: I also agree on the other advice you get, let her talk and get comfortable with silence - when done right, this can build a lot of tension.

__lloyd · 2016-06-08T22:29:36+00:00

I've found with my last few dates is not having enough to say (i'm a hopeless introvert)

Are you sure you "dont have enough to say"? or are you just self-conscious because you believe yourself to be "a hopeless introvert"?

The ability to enjoy a common silence is important. The ability to transition smoothly out of one and into new conversation is also important, but take note which will come first.

I'll end up saying the dumbest shit just to break the silence.

"Better to Remain Silent and Be Thought a Fool than to Speak and Remove All Doubt" - Mark Twain

What are some tips you guys can give for the introvert rookie? Does anyone else go through this?

So i've taken the myers briggs a couple times and i always get INFP (introversion, intuition, feeling, perception), which i think should sound like a nightmare in terms of "game", but it really isnt. I think once you accept whats going on inside you and learn how to control it, you can begin to build off that and start getting quite good.

This kind of applies to everyone i think, but the more self-mastery you've got going on, the greater the control you have over your responses at any given time, the more you'll likely have a choice with how you'll proceed under any given circumstance. And we should realize how important that is when not having a choice will likely end in a less than ideal outcome.. at best.

recyclablebanthas · 2016-06-09T01:05:51+00:00

Couple things:

......came really close to seducing her enough to have sex with me but couldn't quite pull it off. No place to really go to except in my car.

This could just be semantics, but seduction is a team sport. Not something you unilaterally do to a girl.
What was wrong with your car?
Couldn't you have driven somewhere better than the car?

The biggest struggle I've found with my last few dates is not having enough to say (i'm a hopeless introvert).

Not saying you're not an introvert, but being tongue tied isn't the definition of it. It's when you literally find social interaction to be constantly exhausting. It's when you have to have time by yourself to recharge after being in public.
You don't need to come up with things to say. The girl is your best source of conversation fodder. You ask her something and when she responds, you actively listen (thinking of nothing else other than her words), and then you comment or ask a question based on what she just said. Rinse and repeat, with a focus towards questions that get at the heart of what makes her tick: her emotions and motivations.

I'll end up saying the dumbest shit just to break the silence.

Yeah, cut this out. It's unnecessary and shows fear and anxiety to feel the need to blurt something out like that.

I'm feeling like women don't really care and they focus more on it if it's a comment they can take negatively or positively, but I'd like to turn more of those comments into things that are positive/teasing instead of bland and neutral.

This whole approach of blurting something out to fill the silence, just needs to stop. It doesn't need to be dressed up.

There's no need for random shit that just reveals you're not paying attention or you're not tuned in.

If the conversation lulls, LET it. Often the girl will fill the silence. If not, kicking back for a minute is fine. Look around. Take everything in. There are usually thing going on around you that can be commented on.

Or another thread of the conversation is usually there waiting to be picked up on. If you're conversation threading like described above, this will happen.

streetparker · 2016-06-09T04:37:51+00:00

Read books.

Read news.

Take improv.

Get out of your head.

GoRedBad · 2016-06-09T14:21:34+00:00

Maybe try random topics just to make your lips move. Like if there's a lull in conversation when I'm with friends, I often think up two random topics, and just start rambling about the potential connections between them. Someone else feeds off it and usually it culminates in some kind of surreal humour that has us all laughing. For example:

Pigs and nurses.
Wallpaper and the name Sanjay
Computer viruses and geography

Lots of PUA gurus teach that on some level it doesn't matter what you say, as long as you are feeling good about yourself and the girl, because that is the underlying message to all of your communication.

helicoptersweep · 2016-06-09T19:43:19+00:00

There are things you can talk about but you probably just don't realize it. Maybe spend some time each day writing down interesting/funny/ironic/etc things that happened to you, thoughts you have had or things you have heard and use it as a launching pad for your conversations.

Title	Introvert struggle is real
Author	slo77
Upvotes	49
Comments	13
Date	June 8, 2016 5:50 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4n6c78/introvert_struggle_is_real/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/introvert-struggle-is-real.1407882 https://theredarchive.com/post/1407882

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