Irreversible friendzone?

ultratraditionalist · 2026-02-02T23:32:51+00:00

part of me wants to give up and just tell her I like her as more than a friend

Who wants to tell him? (She already knows, big dawg.)

Classic case of woman seeking validation/attention. Maybe there was some attraction, likely gone now, and the only way forward is to fully reset the situation. Don't talk to her for at least 1 year.

Back2theCouture · 2026-02-03T01:32:01+00:00

What was the longest time that you gotta wait until you replied to her? Days? Weeks? Most women learn and rely on patterns better than men.

What I can tell you is this: She always has access to you. So regardless what you tell her, the situationship is still the same to her. Nothing changes. She will change her perspective ONLY IF the situation is really changing (you’re gone out of her life, you actually get a gf whom you spend time everyday, you don’t reply to her msgs ever again).

TallandSarcastic · 2026-02-03T04:50:39+00:00

Don’t tell her. Cause chances are she doesn’t like you that way and sees you as a friend already. So if you tell her that the chances are, it might completely ruin the friendship and she might start to act very distant. That will somehowhurt more.

Matter_Still · 2026-02-03T05:56:32+00:00

“I seem to have followed every common advice for this type of situation… .”

There it is. The “common advice” is universally bad—if that advice is reaped from pickup, it suggests the dreaded “friendzone” is as loathsome as a leper colony.

It neglects that almost 70% of intimate relationships begin as friendships. And there you were, in a pretty decent spot, but one which you were told, and believed, was a romantic cul-de-sac. Rather than understand the advantages of your situation you’ve railed against it.

Of course, this is seduction heresy, but the research is solid:. From CNN;

“Researchers found that 66% of couples began as friendships, many of them long-term friendships spanning several months or years. In the final study, which looked at 300 university students, the “friend stage” lasted almost 22 months on average before turning romantic. Almost half of this sample said friends-first initiation was their preferred method of beginning a romantic relationship. It was also observed that the vast majority of the sample did not enter their friendships with the intention of a romantic relationship.”

So, I would sit down with this girl, if she’s important to you, acknowledge her desire to remain just friends, it’s not what you hoped for, but it might turn out to be for the best.

Again, pickup heresy, pure “simpism”. If you can’t handle that emotionally—some guys can’t—you have a tough decision to make. If you can be a true friend, no “with benefits”, you might be surprised to see how it plays out.

And, no: don’t use another girl to try to make her want you. Would you want her to use you to fan the flames of interest in another guy.

That’s just not bullshit, it’s evil.

FearInoculumTool · 2026-02-03T11:21:37+00:00

Yeah I ain’t reading this Chief

atomant88 · 2026-02-03T20:43:49+00:00

There is no friend zone

Dont act like a friend if you want romance

Justnotthisway · 2026-02-04T08:56:21+00:00

seems pretty clear to me, she likes the friendship way too much to change anything, even if she were attracted to you. and by keeping being friends she still gets all the attention she wants from you, while you get nothing of what you want, even if she probably were to make a good friend, but its not what you want. "the friendzone" is easier to get out of when you started as being attracted to one another than when you started out as friends, so youre not in the worst position there. but you will hate the next part bro, im sorry. you can only win her if you are willing to 100% loose her as a friend. you have to risk loosing her or else she will smell the cowardice for miles against the wind. when i get in the friendzone with a girl i was dating e.g. "not ready for a relationship" or stuff like that and i get the "but we can be friends tho" i just tell her "no sorry, im not friends with girls i find attractive. i just dont do that in general". sets a fair boundary, tells her "you dont get free access to my time and attention just for having me around. youre not that valuable." you should handle her the same way. maybe meet up with her again, and tell her how you cant be friends anymore since you find her attractive, and that you dont want friendship with a girl you find attractive. dude, say youre a fine art collector, and you absolutely want to own the Mona Lisa, but you cant and it breaks your heart. well you dont get to the fucking museum every day and look at her behind the glass? (feel free to use that metaphor with her if you think it fits.). if she is the one reaching out all the time, theres a good chance she will see the boundary, go dark for some time but then find an excuse to text you again after some while, and then you can try again if you still want.

spiciestturtle · 2026-02-03T00:55:46+00:00

Friendzone can feel permanent, but perspective and timing matter.

Title	Irreversible friendzone?
Author	Fearless_Leave7298
Upvotes	2
Comments	28
Date	February 2, 2026 11:16 PM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1qub5fx/irreversible_friendzone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/irreversible-friendzone.1572592 https://theredarchive.com/post/1572592

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