Is a direct approach ever the wrong choice?

itsmevichet · 2014-01-17T19:22:05+00:00

the quickest way to polarizing a woman

This is a good thing. You WANT to polarize people. You don't want wishy washy, gray area, pedestal building bullshit. Some women will hate you. You don't have to deal with them. You can say "well, sorry for taking your time," and leave.

But if you want those women who are waiting for a guy like you, you need to be direct.

If a woman doesn't feel attraction to you within the first 30 seconds, no amount of tiptoeing and "making the right moves" thereafter will get her to change her mind (in 90 percent of cases). After that, I'd have to ask you why you're spending so much effort on a woman who doesn't show romantic curiosity about you.

That said, I'm going to make a distinction - direct approaches versus being direct in your interactions.

A direct approach is one way to display a combination of confidence and clear intentions. You went up to a girl specifically to talk to her. Both parties know that once you introduce yourself. It's considered bread and butter by many because if you match the girl's initial checklist for guys she'd like to meet (this could be anything, but common patterns are good grooming, good body language, steady speech, not afraid of kino), the direct approach is the shortest point from A to B.

The direct approach is never bad unless it results in an action where you've COST the woman something. Did you interrupt an important call? Are you making her late for a meeting? There are in fact some situations where this is case, but it's not the majority, ESPECIALLY if you're in a time and place where these situations are unlikely (club at night, daygame during lunch hour).

Zoom out a bit, though. To me, the direct approach is just a single tool in a larger toolbox that is all about being direct. You can wait for an opportunity to talk to a woman - after she's done with her phone call, or after you've established eye contact, or whatever. This can be VERY smart and good to do because you won't accidentally step on her toes, which makes you look more oblivious than confident.

However, AFTER you actually get in front of her, you better not be thinking "I'm going to be as neutral and non-polarizing as possible." I'd say stay away from discussing politics and religion, but beyond that, be memorable. Shit. The worst thing you can do is leave a woman having no opinion of you.

I would say 90 percent of the time, I do a direct approach. No introductions needed from other friends, no winging, no nothing. Just walking up, introducing myself, etc. The caveats I listed above apply.

100 percent of the time, I'm direct. I'm direct with my body language, I'm direct with kino, I'm LISTENING TO HER and PAYING ATTENTION TO HER REACTIONS TO MY ATTENTION. Is she digging it? Then I get even more direct.

Escalation is all about being direct, bro.

h2opete · 2014-01-17T20:12:20+00:00

I'd say (as a general rule, obviously there's exceptions) indirect in clubs, direct everywhere else.

YetzirahToAhssiah · 2014-01-18T07:00:46+00:00

Yes, a direct approach can be the wrong approach. But it's better than no approach. When I'm not sure how to make an indirect approach, I try to go balls out and make a direct one anyway, even though the given situation (i.e., around all her friends) makes it unlikely to be effective.

ben0wn4g3 · 2014-01-18T14:35:46+00:00

I find lots of girls have a bitch shield, indirect is needed to get through this. It has worked many a time for me. This is mainly in clubs and pubs where girls are probably getting hit on a lot more and spike their defences.

Title	Is a direct approach ever the wrong choice?
Author	glitch0
Upvotes	13
Comments	8
Date	January 17, 2014 6:59 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1vgshd/is_a_direct_approach_ever_the_wrong_choice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-a-direct-approach-ever-the-wrong-choice.1364619 https://theredarchive.com/post/1364619

Comments