Guys, I need help. My frustration with myself has reached a fever pitch.

My problem with women isn’t that I’m not attractive or don’t have what they’re looking for. I look good, I’m funny, I have good style, I have healthy friendships, stories to tell and a rich life. Attractive women usually find me in some aspect, or I find them. It’s that I just can’t execute consistently enough. On the rare occasion I do have sex/pull someone, it almost seems out of luck, like it was their decision and not mine.

Typically, what goes wrong when going out is that I will spend too much time on the wrong women. I spend time pursuing someone who appears neutral but eventually turns me down when I try to escalate. I have no idea how to tell the difference between lukewarm/friendly or interested until well into the night, by which point I’m enough drinks in to not really be able to approach elsewhere, and it’s too late to do so anyway.

On the dating side/longer term, what goes wrong is that if it’s someone I actually respect and see as a long term partner, I park them on a pedestal and so become reluctant to push for sex from my end. I gradually become more anxious until they eventually become unavailable and end things.

I’m not sure how to progress. I make copious notes, I have all these findings and revelations about my own behaviors and patterns. I journal and note regularly. Yet nothing has changed. The solution should be to get out there and experiment, but that requires committing to going out every weekend or aggressively pursuing a dating life, and I don’t have the time, resources or energy to maintain that. I would recruit my friends to help, but they’re too busy, aren’t interested in pickup/going out, or are settled in relationships.

I also am not sure how to navigate it in a way authentic to me. I don’t feel that I can become a manipulative Machiavellian pick-up guy for example, because A) I do not understand how to manipulate people’s emotions AT ALL, it’s never worked for me and B) I just don’t really feel great when I take advantage of or lie to people, even if I get what I want.

Help me guys, I’m so fucking frustrated and I’m tired of fighting this battle with myself. It’s the beast I can’t kill. I want to know I’m capable of getting my sexual needs met. Where do I begin? What do I do?