So I started doing the PlentyofFish thing a while back, got off it after a while, and then came back recently. There is one experience in particular that has left me guessing, so maybe you guys can shed some of your seemingly vast experience on it.

I was currently in California when I first started PoF up again. I was looking at girls up in the Eugene/Corvallis, OR area because I knew I would be back there in a while (little more than a month) and because I wasn't really interested in finding a girl, I was basically just trolling cuz I was bored. However, it turned out I found a girl that really just seemed right up my alley. Grad student, into a good amount of similar things, cute but not gorgeous, fit, and obviously intelligent and confident. (Note: not that I am all those things, but they are what I want in a girl.)

So I messaged her more just out of curiosity to see if she would message back, she did, and we started chatting fairly regularly for a while, and eventually I told her I wouldn't be around for about a month and can she wait? She said ok, and so we waited. We messaged every once in a while, texted a few times, etc, but nothing really serious or time consuming.

So I finally get back to Oregon. She's in town for a few days doing some work with a lab and so we figure we should meet up. But I'm sort of getting wary of her at this point. Basically, I've started to get the feeling, through various conversations and etc, that she's sort of a highly confrontational person, arrogant maybe, and just not my type. So the first time she calls I make up some BS story about my not being around that day just to get out of meeting her that day. I'm fairly certain she knew it was BS, or was just upset I couldn't meet anyway. The next day we reconvene and actually decide to do lunch.

I drove to the spot, she walked. When I first saw her I put my arm around her shoulders in a very brief gesture of welcome, just sort of like if you meet up with a business associate and you are leading them towards the restaurant or whatever. She didn't really respond at all, negatively or positively, so I wasn't really sure what to make of that. When we actually get inside we get seated pretty quickly, and start to look over the menus. We start some small talk. Since we had been messaging/texting for a while we actually had a good deal of that out of the way and even had some inside jokes between us, so pretty soon we got into an actual conversation. Turns out she is a very intelligent, very active proponent of climate change and is a scientist in the field. I am not, but I'm no pushover on the subject. W/out going into too much unnecessary detail, we have a conversation that is, at least from my point of view, more of a debate than anything else. Not an angry debate, for sure, more of a very civil but still competitive discussion. Pretty much I was getting more and more assured that she was sort of an A-type personality and I was caring less and less about being romantically involved with her. To this end, I just debated with her full fledged and let her know when she was wrong and why, and took mine in turn, etc.

So at the end of the 'date' I'm dropping her off and I suggest we go out to the dunes some weekend. She says not this weekend, so I say next weekend, so she says that the weather is likely going to get bad soon so she's not really sure. I was basically done at this point, so I said something like "Sure, well, if it works it works, if not then oh well" and we part ways.

So at this point my thinking was "She's actually pretty attractive. I actually like her more than I thought I would as a person, and would be willing to give it a shot, but the type of conversation we had and the overt rejection at the end has sealed the deal on her end". I mean, do people who are romantically interested in each other debate on their first meetup?

Anyway, to my surprise she texts me about an hour later asking how I am. I don't respond until many hours later, and then just a cursory 'pretty good, u?' She responds and I don't. Like I said, I'm surprised... I thought this chick was gone. Turns out, about two weeks later, after no more contact, she texts me asking if I was still interested. At this point I am clueless. I pretty clearly end it at this point, cuz now I really am not interested.

But I'm confused about two points: 1. the debate/discussion at lunch. WTF??!! Girls do that with guys they like on a first meet up? Any analysis? 2. The obvious rejection at the end? How the hell was I supposed to interpret that as she was interested? What was she doing?

**EDIT: let me clarify. I have had three relationships, one that was short, another that was very short, and a third that lasted me almost my entire college. So I'm incredibly unpracticed at this, so if I seem naive or clueless, well....