So, I went out clubbing again last night. I learned some lessons and realized some things. Walking up to a random girl and asking them to dance just usually won’t work, especially if they came with some guy friends. To me it just seems that they don’t want to deal with the hassle of meeting a new guy when they can stick with the safe options. Therefore, I will not start out by just asking if they’d like to dance. I think some initial comfort has to be built first with girls not on the dance floor, then I’ll have more of a chance.

It also seemed to me last night that the only time I got remotely far with a girl was when I was totally honest with her, and had no expectations. This is what you always read but those words are meaningless until you realize it yourself. For example, I was standing at the bar trying to get the bartender’s attention. While waiting, I turn around and saw this attractive girl, and asked her if I could just get an objective female opinion (never saw myself using the opinion opener :) ). I asked her what makes her want to dance with a guy (because I had only been getting rejections by that point, and was honestly wondering). She said when a guy buys her a drink. I just looked at her and said I don’t buy drinks for girls, because I feel like I’m being taken advantage of. She said “you’re probably right”, but she seemed to gain a great deal of respect for me and hung out with me the rest of her time there, told me some intimate things, and started validating herself to me. I think all because I was real with her, and made myself vulnerable, asking something that probably made me look inexperienced, and at the same time showing that I have boundaries. We found out we both love to play pool, so we did just that. I had to put some bets down, so I said if I won, we got to dance. So then she said if she won, we got to dance. I loved that because that was a definite indication of interest for me, for some reason when I am in the moment I become oblivious to such things. Anyways when we were done with pool we were both facing the same way and I put my arm around her back, and she put her arm around my back. It felt great, because it seemed she genuinely enjoyed my company. We were just about to go dance then one of her dude friends comes up and says they have to go. Yeah, cockblocked by jealous friends, awesome right? We hugged and then she left. I never even thought to ask her for her number, which I am regretting. I may actually see her again at a place we found out we both frequent, but I’m not counting on it. Lesson learned though :)

So, I intend to keep writing but I may do it somewhere else – I don’t know if seddit is the best location for my writings because I’m still struggling with some of the most basic things, including learning how to write more engaging stories. Anyways, hope you enjoyed this!