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laerkthegod
[–]letsgetrandy 11 points12 points13 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Do things. You need to reinforce your confidence by accomplishing things.
[–]NickFromNL 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think you have the wrong idea of what masculinity is. It isn't being the typical stereotype ''Alpha'' guy. To me, masculinity is being what I call a high value man.
A man who stands for his own values and lives his life on his terms not reacting to what everybody is projecting on him. One of the best examples (to me) is a man like Sean Connery.
He's not a brute, but he is truly high value with class and confidence.
Maybe try to connect and socialize with other people without expecting anything? It worked for me.
[–]stanthemilkman88 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Unplug, get in your car and drive to another place for a few days without anyone else. Just quiet. And peace.
[–]laerkthegod[S] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Lol I wish, college student in a city, maybe I’ll bike somewhere who knows
[–]stanthemilkman88 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Don't take ssris. I chucked them in the bin years ago. They fuck you up. Your feelings are bad and you should feel bad for having them. You are not your feelings, you can acknowledge them and still force your self to do what they prevent you to do.
Or you can stay enslaved to them
[–]laerkthegod[S] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I just want anything that’ll make me not feel like a pussy pushover man I don’t want to live like this anymore. I don’t know where my boldness came from during college but it’s all gone. I’m giving less of a shit of talking to girls and school in general and it feels like it’s out of my control. It just sucks that when I look in the mirror I see a scared little kid instead of the man everyone else sees. I am so desperate to not feel like this anymore
[–]stanthemilkman88 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Fuck your feelings man. This is all in your head. You get confidenceeby doing and positive responses by the world.
I mean, you are in great shape. How is your sleep and finances? Don't watch the news if you do, they want you scared. Is your diet on point? Are you socializing much?
Have you tried writing? Journaling your thoughts and fears down brings them into the light and shows they are not so bad. Rianstone has good info out there that may help you
I can't tell you what to do and can't give medical advice. But I wouldnt take it them.
[–]laerkthegod[S] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My sleep is on an off usually getting 6-8 hours, sometimes I have to skip class. I’m in college so money isn’t an issue. Diet is fine other than occasionally eating junk food. Journaling doesn’t really help. Socializing is my issue, I’m super introverted and don’t know if it’s because I’m shy or if I just am that way. I tried to get rid of that when I came to college and it’s been going away up until 2 weeks ago. I can’t control my insecurities and fears and don’t know what to do.
[–]norwegiandoggo 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
It seems it's very important for you to increase or maintain a sense of "masculinity". Why do you care about this so much?
My first impression is that this seems strange, and I'm a bit confused what your post, or this idea of maximizing "masculinity", has to do with seduction.
[–]laerkthegod[S] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
had this incident happen during the summer where i was constantly used at work and disrespected, all because i never stood up for myself, and that was the image i carried my entire life. I have the idea that if you’re masculine and come off that way nobody messes with you, and it works. people take you more seriously and girls are more attracted to you. that’s why im constantly obsessed with it, but now it’s just not happening for some reason.
[–]norwegiandoggo 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Standing up for yourself and establishing boundaries is not about masculinity though. Women need to know these things too, just as much as men. It's just a good human skill to have. But why do you think you're not able to establish your boundaries as much anymore?
[–]laerkthegod[S] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
I’ve just gotten fearful of seeming anxious or overreacting while doing it
[–]norwegiandoggo 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Let me see if I get it. This experience of being mistreated at work and not standing up for yourself was quite impactful on your life. And you don't want to get back to that place, right? So now you're a hyper-vigilant at any sign that you may revert back to your old submissive self, and this causes you to feel afraid?
[–]laerkthegod[S] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Yep, and I’m feeling like my old self these past couple of days, which is what I’ve been trying to avoid
[–]norwegiandoggo 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Cool, so when you adopt a new way of being, a new behavior. It is common to "slip up" in periods and revert back to the old behavior. It could be that you're stressed out, emotional about something, or simply not feeling that well at the moment. It's also easier to regress back to our old self when we experience a similar environment with cues and triggers that remind us of the past situations. So part of this regression is normal and most likely it will probably pass by itself after some time. A few days or weeks typically.
Are there reasons you're not feeling so great right now, are there other things bothering you? Or are there things you see in your current environment that reminds you of the past?
[–]laerkthegod[S] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I’ve been losing motivation for school tbh, it’s really hard for me to focus because of everything going on in my head, even right now. I can’t study cause I’m always thinking about something. It makes me feel bad because my friends know what they’re doing and I don’t. I’ve also been avoiding the girls I would always banter with out of the fear that I’m gonna break the image I have. The gyms really what has me feeling better. I only began to feel this way after spring break, where I spent multiple days with my old friends, where we went to a restaurant and there was a cute girl there and they were telling me to talk to her, and my confidence went down and everything’s been kind of a snowball effect since then. I just hate feeling soft and weak and it makes me want to hide my face from the earth.
[–]norwegiandoggo 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Old friends can definitely put you back into your old mindset really quick. Usually when people change a lot they also get new friends. Perhaps that is an area of growth to consider: Adding new friends that will bolster your new identity. I am also a big proponent of therapy, as I've been in it myself and it has helped me clear out a lot of thoughts and feel better. Has it always been difficult for you to focus at school? If so, maybe you have ADHD? Could be worth checking out with a therapist. If you normally have no problems focusing in school and this is more of a recent thing then I think it's just a temporary issue. Do you have anyone else to talk to about your feelings and thoughts that occupy your mind?
[–]laerkthegod[S] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I have a therapist but I have a hard time opening up because at times I feel embarrassed for feeling the way I do. I usually just call a hotline as I don’t really care because they’ll forget about me anyways.
[–]norwegiandoggo2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Hotline is great. But there's something magical about opening up to another person face to face and have them validate you. I encourage you to push your comfort zone a little bit to speed up the effect of the therapy
[–]hungarian_builder -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You can do a few things to increase testosterone naturally: Cut out chicken and fish from your life. Rely on beef and pork. Same with veggie oil. Use pork fat instead. This did wonders to me. What also helps is seeking strong rivals. These can be your friends even. Your body will react differently when your mind thinks there's danger. Another note: calibrating how much masturbation you need is essential. Full on retention can cause problems in your prostate. Ideal ammount is to only do it when you feel so horny that you can't hold it back anymore.
This is what comes to my mind right away. Don't rely on meds. They are just an addictive temporary solution
[–]SonyHDSmartTV 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I'd avoid SSRIs unless you actually feel very depressed, they have some side effects that are only worth it if you're miserable.
Might be worth speaking to a therapist about your insecurities and working through them so they don't bother you anymore.
[–]laerkthegod[S] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I’m already seeing one but he hasn’t done jackshit for me lmao
[–]SonyHDSmartTV 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well get a new one then? Are you engaging with it properly, self-reflecting a lot. The therapist should be helping, but it's mainly you who has to do the work unfortunately. Start talking about your insecurities and try to work out why you feel that way.
I have had issues with my masculinity and it for me it came down to my relationship with my father which I imagine is incredibly common.
What side effects are you talking about?
[–]SonyHDSmartTV 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It depends on which you go on. I'm not an expert but fairly sure you can get low sex drive /erectile disfunction from some of them.
Tbh I already have that so I wouldn’t lose much
[–]mightymite88 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You don't need to be masculine , or even male, to do pickup
It’s just this feeling I get that I’m untouchable, doesn’t matter about reactions, and that I can stand up to anyone who tries something. Idk what to call it other than feeling masculine but it’s hard to do anything for yourself when it’s gone. I’m definitely being more cautious with what I say and have noticed, as I’m not really bantering with girls like I used to
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[–]letsgetrandy 11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NickFromNL 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]stanthemilkman88 1 point2 points3 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]laerkthegod[S] 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]stanthemilkman88 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]laerkthegod[S] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]stanthemilkman88 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]laerkthegod[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]norwegiandoggo 3 points4 points5 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]laerkthegod[S] 0 points1 point2 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]norwegiandoggo 0 points1 point2 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]laerkthegod[S] 2 points3 points4 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]norwegiandoggo 0 points1 point2 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]laerkthegod[S] 0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]norwegiandoggo 1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]laerkthegod[S] 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]norwegiandoggo 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]laerkthegod[S] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]norwegiandoggo2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]hungarian_builder -2 points-1 points0 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SonyHDSmartTV 0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]laerkthegod[S] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SonyHDSmartTV 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]laerkthegod[S] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]SonyHDSmartTV 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]laerkthegod[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mightymite88 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]laerkthegod[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link