Need To Be Less Cocky.

VMikeL · 2013-07-22T01:31:13+00:00

When I brag, I do it as a joke. It's always true, but I let them figure it out whether I'm actually bragging, or if my sarcastic tone is trying to mock the situation. When other guys brag, it's to show off their list of accomplishments, because they think that's how you attract people. Got a great attribute? Show, don't tell. Got a personal achievement, allow them to get to know you, it helps add mystery. I have been to a list of places, held a multitude of careers, and had many an interesting stories - but I cannot tell them all. She can choose.

If this post is illegible i'll fix it later.

Squand · 2013-07-22T03:12:28+00:00

I've been thinking about this myself and here are some of the thoughts I've had.

Are you insecure about something? Bragging is often about being insecure and covering for it.

That might be as simple as, I want to impress XYZ person/group. Maybe something deeper.

If that's the case, humility isn't really the key, it's accepting and acknowledging that insecurity and dealing with that differently. (Which is probably humbling.)

If called out, admit it and own it. "I guess I was being conceited, sorry." The end.
Bragging comes from Telling Vs Showing. Show more, tell less.

When you tell, you're making a value judgement for the audience. When you show, you're letting them decide. Does that make sense?

Telling people about your passions, about cool things you've done, that isn't annoying. But telling people "I am cool. I've done cool things." Is super annoying. It feels insincere.

Admitting to faults and self reflection on needing change is the way to be humble. You are clearly headed in the right direction on that front.

I wonder, can you give a concrete example of a time you were bragging and someone called you out on it? Does the show vs tell advice seem like it applies to that situation?

jdb050 · 2013-07-22T05:04:30+00:00

Stop.

Ask about them instead.

Avoid talking about yourself and your accomplishments after they answer your question, even if to relate.. Simply show interest or find a way to change the topic.

After you figure out how to do this and practice it plenty, then you can start to figure out how to relate to someone without bragging about yourself.

eddkov · 2013-07-22T06:28:43+00:00

I think what you need to do is not be less cocky, but less braggy. I really like the quote "Climb a mountain, tell no one", you can act as if you climbed a mountain but unless someone asks you, you should never brag about anything.

Remember this, the one thing everyone wishes they could talk about all the time is themselves and how awesome they are, so let people do it, be impressed by them, be amazed, make them feel special, dont try to one up them, because thats what everyone else would do, all of the other insecure and jealous people in the world who cant stand it when others accomplish something would try to brag, but you dont because you are cocky and confident and all of the cool things that she has done, dont even shake your image and your confidence.

budguy68 · 2013-07-22T09:30:54+00:00

I brag but than I put myself down a little.

Example: "Yeah I make video documentaries as a side hobby. We're doing one wild horses.... But we really don't make any money and its really not that good.. I do it mostly for fun...."

And really there is nothing wrong with being cocky. Just dont good Full Cocky or Full Alpha

For example one time I was sorta in the zone and I said some really dumb cocky shit: "Yeah I'd fuck her... I'd also fuck you're wife too and I'd also fuck you!!!"

Everyone kinda looked at me funny and one guy let out a big sigh and the whole group was disappointed.

Also don't call other guys a bitch and always end it with something long the lines of "Hey man I am just here to have fun.. "

moorebeauty · 2013-08-01T00:48:12+00:00

Take interest in other people more than yourself.

Skittles_N_Vodka · 2013-07-22T03:26:46+00:00

When people call me out for bragging I own it. I say something like "Uh, yeah. I'm the shit. I've worked hard for everything I have. Why wouldn't I be proud? I'm no better than anyone, I'm just better than who I used to be." I then encourage them to brag about their accomplishments. Everyone should think they're the shit.

Title	Need To Be Less Cocky.
Author	boxofcookies101
Upvotes	2
Comments	10
Date	July 22, 2013 12:50 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1is5dt/need_to_be_less_cocky/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/need-to-be-less-cocky.1355787 https://theredarchive.com/post/1355787

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