Never satisfied?

wazke · 2011-04-17T22:01:29+00:00

I was unhappy in an LTR for many years. Now I am single and have been so for over 5 years, and very happy to be so. I am growing much more as a person in this situation, being all around happier, and making most people around me happier. I may go into an LTR in the future, but only when I know that is what I really, really, really want to do with my life. I've already wasted too many years doing what was expected from me, and this never goes well for anyone involved. "Barely ok" is as far as you can get.

Do what makes you happy, or you will make those around you unhappy.

2011-04-17T22:42:03+00:00

Marriage is literally a contract. It is a legal document. Even if it wasn't binding through law the whole idea of what a contract represents is contained in marriage.

My view is that you should go with integrity. Either make the sacrifice of sex with new women so that you can have a family or make the sacrifice of starting a family with this woman to have sex with new women. The choice isn't as important as the integrity you need to make it. If you try and have both you will probably end up with neither.

frogma · 2011-04-17T21:43:09+00:00

Monogamy is essentially a construct of patriarchal society, that emerged when there was a surplus of goods and hence inheritance. During 90% of human existence, monogamy didn't exist, therefore humans are biologically predisposed to polyamory which would ensure highest fitness for the human population. This explains the huge divorce and cheating rate.

That being said if your partner believes in monogamy and you want to stay with her you have to play by her -and most of society's- rules. Honestly even if you catch yourself looking at other girls or having desires which is natural, you will be with someone you love so much and consider a great person (based on your post) and this might make you happier than not being with her. Also you should always look at what makes you happy presently and not look too much in the future. You love her and want to be with her today, but tomorrow you might change. So do what you feel that will make you happy about today and don't look too much ahead. That's my advice.

jamessnow · 2011-04-18T04:22:32+00:00

I don't see how you can marry her. You are setting yourself and her up for heartbreak. If you are itching now, just think about how it will be after you know that you are trapped. Just ride it out and keep refusing and if you need to see other people tell her that's the way it is and take it or leave it. There are other smart, caring beautiful HB8's in the world. Lots of them. I read that book mentioned in another thread "How I found freedom in an unfree world". That sort of cemented my position.

Nexism · 2011-04-18T08:02:31+00:00

This sounds like /r/relationship_advice.

Bercilak · 2011-04-17T21:57:41+00:00

I hope that someday I'm in your position of abundance... however difficult this situation is to navigate, this is better problem to be having than getting no girls at all. :-P

She is everything I could have ever imagined from a partner. She's beautiful (HB8+), smart, caring, giving, has a great family, great values, and is madly in love with me. I love her very much, but I am always looking at other girls and itching to take them home with me. She is not willing to have an open relationship, and I fear that eventually I will cheat on her.

Tell her this? There's no reason to commit further to a relationship that can't foreseeably fulfill your sexual needs. On the other hand, if you two can work out an open relationship and then get married, fuckin' gravy! How to approach that definitely depends on what your girl's objection to an open relationship is. My girlfriend was hesitant about an open relationship and this book definitely helped her become comfortable with the idea, getting over insecurities and all that jazz.

jakedebest · 2011-04-17T22:56:01+00:00

I too have wondered about this. We, as humans, always want better things - often we are never satisfied. Which is evolutionary, the lazy, unwilling folk should,by nature be eradicated from our species.

Anyway, since I'm young and never been in love, I can't really tell if you are in love or not. I think 'love' means that you are completely satisfied with your partner and wouldn't want to cheat on her, although this is different, clearly.

My post hasn't provided any answers, but I'd suggest talking to your girl about this.

2011-04-18T00:19:27+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2011-04-18T02:29:25+00:00

r/polyamory will be able to help better with this than the comments you are getting here...

bangthemermaid · 2011-04-18T10:57:51+00:00

I think you might get some theoretical input from Johhny Soporno (www.seductivereasoning.com). He's way on the polyamorous side of things but his theory is quite enlightening. There are hours of free seminar on the website if you scroll down.

spintheblackcircle · 2011-04-18T13:43:34+00:00

"The man who knows when enough is enough will have always have enough."

bemanijunkie · 2011-04-17T21:05:40+00:00

I think learning to be content in any area of life is hard but I think it comes with maturity.

We always want hotter women, more money, more things. Hopefully you'll learn what truly matters to you eventually

Kancho_Ninja · 2011-04-18T03:28:21+00:00

You know, just because I have a nice house, car, and career doesn't mean that I don't look at what the neighbors have and wonder what it'd be like to slip inside for a few hours.

Seriously, if you don't have the self control to respect someone you love, go back to college.

Do you job hop every year? Do you buy and sell houses on a regular basis? Do you lease a car and swap it every 3 years?

No?

If you can "settle" for a good career, a nice car, a wonderful home - why can't you "settle" for a HB8+ that is madly in love with you?

Title	Never satisfied?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	10
Comments	33
Date	April 17, 2011 6:55 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/gs6wv/never_satisfied/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/never-satisfied.1317485 https://theredarchive.com/post/1317485

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