I've really come a long way in improving my self-esteem (thanks to Reddit), and honestly for the first time in my life I think I have some pretty cool traits about me. That being said I'm still pretty passive and admit it. I've always been kind of a pacifist hippie type and although I really love feeling peace, calm and relaxation I can tell that those around me write my desire to just get along off as wussiness (which maybe it is, I don't think it is but who knows). If I feel something strongly I stand up for myself but most things to me (even those others deem important) just don't matter at all so I let it go. And I genuinely fear no one, even though that's gotten me in trouble before. But I just feel like despite feeling somewhat alpha on the inside I'm screaming beta on the outside.

I've taken up certain aspects on how to appear more confident, like posture, lowering my voice, speaking more slowly, etc. But this is different. What I'm wanting to know is how bold I can be in conversations, how fast I can kino, etc. Like I know the steps to kino but honestly I don't know how much time to wait inbetween steps, or if I should at all. That's just an example, but stuff like that.

Usually I keep things pretty vanilla because I just don't know where I can go. I don't know how sexual I can get, how much I control the conversation (if any), and other things that dominant/leader-type personalities excel at. But obviously this backfires. I know if I could just understand (and believe) how bold and powerful I can be without offending people that I would be a lot better in my interactions with others. But as it is I haven't found any information on this and I feel super uncomfortable just going out without any guide on how aggressive to be without becoming too domineering.

So Seddit, do you have any examples advice or resources? Links are great, because I don't even know how to search online for what I'm looking for.