[OKCupid] Went for number exchange, what went wrong? - Any tips [xpost]

scratchii · 2013-06-05T15:51:21+00:00

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scratchii · 2013-06-05T17:03:25+00:00

Honestly? Reading that you come across sort of like an annoying 13 year old girl. I don't know if that's just your personality but it comes across as though you're trying to hard. Maybe that's why you didn't get the date?

I'd just drop this one and count it as a practice run. Don't message her again, she's shown she's not interested.

kingcal · 2013-06-05T19:40:27+00:00

I'm drunk, and I don't really feel like reading all of that -- so that's my biggest concern. It doesn't really matter how you come off if your responses are all several paragraphs long. When I message girls, it's one to three sentences max. It's short, to the point, and asks a question that gets the girl talking about themselves. Exchange one or two messages, then suggest texting, not an outright in-person meeting. It's all about baby steps with it comes to compliance. Going from an online conversation to meeting in person is pretty big. It's a lot easier to move from online, to texting, to in person.

Yetttti · 2013-06-06T15:04:19+00:00

I don't really think how you asked to meet was the problem, it was more the messages leading up to it.

Here are my thoughts: *Generally you should spend more time asking open ended, interesting questions. Base those questions on her profile. For example, if she states she has a dog, ask what kind of dog she has, and how long she has had it for. If her profile doesn't really list what she likes to do in her free time, a great open ended question that can lead to good conversation is "What do you like to do for fun?" You only asked 2 questions, and only 1 was open ended. It's your job to lead the conversation, and let her do most of the talking. *The short amount of time you do spend talking about yourself should at least be interesting. The part where you talked about going to the screening of that film made me want to fall asleep. "Whenever I travel, it's great to visit and experience different cultures." Thank you, captain obvious. This is just uninteresting filler. *Mix in a few witty jokes. You actually did pretty well with this with the Baskin-Robbins remarks.

In all honesty, you kind of blew this one. Despite your somewhat odd first message, and the fact that your match rating is only 67% (relatively low), she still responded, which means she was interested. If you had shown more of an interest in her, and got her to open up a bit, she would have been much more likely to meet up with you. I wouldn't message her again. Chalk this one up to experience, and just try to do better next time.

scratchii · 2013-06-05T16:59:36+00:00

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1vibe · 2013-06-05T17:02:46+00:00

I thought you did pretty good, maybe one question less per message would be better. I would have asked her out after she :p the Baskin Robbins thing. I don't know why she didn't bite. Maybe she took that last line about "riveting conversation" the wrong way.... But no matter. Wait a week and just ask her out for a particular event/meetup/drinks.

UnapologeticalyAlive · 2013-06-05T19:29:05+00:00

I've heard from a couple girls that the biggest frustration they have with online dating isn't that guys are creepy but rather that they're boring. Imagine getting hit up by 100 guys a day and all they want to talk about is where they're from, what they do for a living, and what TV shows they like. No offense but I think I fell asleep reading it. I mean, you don't know her any better than she knows you. Do you really care that she's watching Ally McBeal?

Try writing less text and make it about more interesting topics. Less is more.

Desmadre · 2013-06-05T18:09:36+00:00

1/3 method dude. Use it.

Title	[OKCupid] Went for number exchange, what went wrong? - Any tips [xpost]
Author	scratchii
Upvotes	4
Comments	41
Date	June 5, 2013 3:45 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1fq67d/okcupid_went_for_number_exchange_what_went_wrong/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/okcupid-went-for-number-exchange-what-went-wrong.1353409 https://theredarchive.com/post/1353409

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