OLD: do you change your approach based on what the girl is looking for?

Wing_Inevitable · 2024-07-11T01:52:33+00:00

I have a standard first date routine: We meet up at a coffee shop, vibe, then maybe dinner, with my place or hers being the last stop. Outcome independent, of course. Sometimes F close sometimes kiss close.

You are overcomplicating it. You don’t need more than 45min to 1h dates (doesn’t mean put a stop watch and when 1h hits leave)

My question is: would you change your routine/ plan just because the girl is “looking for long term relationship“ in their bio?

No. I just know it might take anywhere from 2-6 dates.(Person and country dependant)

In my specific case, sometimes initiating back to my place turns off the ones who are looking for something serious, even thought I feel completely outcome independent when doing so.

I have no idea what “outcome independence” has to do with this.

Using RSD words for your benefit:

Do you speak man to woman ?

How do you frame going back to yours ?

And

Do you react (change state) if she says “stop” ?

jamesfalken · 2024-07-11T02:19:19+00:00

Your first date routine is very standard and there is nothing wrong with it. If it ain't broke don't fix it.

Some girls will balk at the invite back to your place at the end of the first date. That's just the way it is. You can't convert them all. But we all know many women who say they are looking for a relationship come back and bang after a quick first date. Looking for a relationship does not mean unwilling to have first date sex.

I'd say the more important questions are - what's your conversion rate with this routine? And the girls that do reject your invite home at the end of the first date, where is it going with them in the days after? Are they falling off or open to a second date?

My experience has been more often then not, it's best to go for the invite home at the end of the first date and get turned down, then not go for the invite and play the long game just to get into her pants. Women know we are men, they know what we want. Inviting her home and getting turned down isn't a big deal in my experience (you do have to brush it off and take it with confidence, have a bit of an indifferent attitude) and with most of those girls it doesn't kill interest or attraction (as long as it's there in the first place), you just have to try again on the next date. She's potentially just trying not to look like a slut in your eyes.

If they are all falling off after rejecting your invite home, maybe you need to reevaluate how you are doing it. Potentially they weren't high enough interest to begin with, or how you are doing it/handing it is scaring them away.

TRTGymBroX · 2024-07-11T02:11:50+00:00

That’s the antithesis of being a man. You can only be in three positions with a woman:

Lead, follow or get out of the way.

If you are not going to lead, you better get out of the way. Because following is the last thing you want to do.

shathecomedian · 2024-07-11T08:20:59+00:00

Kudos to you for even getting to the date stage, a lot of these apps it’s damn near impossible to have her talk for more than 2 messages

Title	OLD: do you change your approach based on what the girl is looking for?
Author	Chezzen_j
Upvotes	12
Comments	5
Date	July 11, 2024 12:12 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1e0baxz/old_do_you_change_your_approach_based_on_what_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/old-do-you-change-your-approach-based-on-what-the.1523902 https://theredarchive.com/post/1523902

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