On creating a mystery vs. open vulnerability

recyclablebantha · 2014-08-12T11:12:18+00:00

Basically, I feel like am lacking the "mysterious" perspective on seduction, where I am able to throw out a subtle clue and make them interested to learn more, open up a but, ask etc.

No. Being mysterious is not how you make people "interested".

You make people interested, by being interested in them.

My current style is more like rapid fire compatibility probing, saying whatever comes to my mind and often telling stories about myself to ping if they have similar/different opinions and stories.

Hmm. You really want to get them talking about themselves, with you directing what direction it goes. You shouldn't be "rapid fire" anything, or going off into long tangents about yourself.

What are your thoughts on this? And how do those of you who can pull if the "mysterious" angle keep the conversation from boring you/dying?

You keep the conversation from being boring by getting them talking about themselves. It's not tricky: people LOVE talking about themselves.

biggyb92 · 2014-08-12T11:19:16+00:00

Hey! It's good to hear you can openly share yourself with others. That's often a difficult skill to acquire. And trust me many people love that skill a lot. They may not say it but the gratitude is there. But to get to your question if you feel like a conversation is dying or your getting bored. That's a sign that the person your talking with is either not really into you or your not really into the other person. In the book models Mark talks about rejection and how it's a beautiful thing. Weeding out those who are interested and vice versa.

If you feel like your over sharing. Breathe. And when you start to talk about something or share something give the other person some room to add on. Making almost a story invitation. What I like to do is often tell girls about my dreams of traveling to Japan, Italy, France, Vegas and Thailand. After telling them why I want to go there I start to invite them on my trip. Creating some light banter about what to do, where to go and such. Saying things like "we'll go to a cat cafe in japan" or "if we go to France we're going to try some fondue" or "when we land in Vegas we're definitely getting matching tattoos and then robbing a casino" Then it becomes a fun game, inside joke and connection you make that is specifically between the two of you. Alluring her to inquire more and more about you while. There is still an air of mystery that shrouds you.

IpickupGrandmothers · 2014-08-12T11:47:42+00:00

I think being mysterious for the sake of being mysterious is silly. Why play games? I mean, it's one thing to be perceived as mysterious because you're busy and you can't see her all the time (or something like that). It's another thing to play silly games in order to appear mysterious.

I'm an advocate for open vulnerability. Obviously there's a time and place for everything, I'm not going to approach a girl and tell her my childhood in the first 5 minutes. But I'm not necessarily going to hide things about myself for the sake of hiding them.

Maybe you're lacking sexuality in your interactions, not mysteriousness.

bl1y · 2014-08-12T12:23:40+00:00

This post may help

amadeus_x · 2014-08-12T11:10:58+00:00

80% mystery (i.e. irony/teasing/jokes) and 20% open vulnerability in the first minutes, 20% mystery and 80% open vulnerability later.

kezchez · 2014-08-12T12:35:54+00:00

Forget about all this mystery and open vulnerability crap. Just be yourself and stop worrying about it.

Title	On creating a mystery vs. open vulnerability
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	2
Comments	9
Date	August 12, 2014 9:36 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2dblbi/on_creating_a_mystery_vs_open_vulnerability/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/on-creating-a-mystery-vs-open-vulnerability.1374969 https://theredarchive.com/post/1374969

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