One Night Stands

russo3js · 2017-05-08T22:16:50+00:00

Have the same problem. With a girlfriend I'm rock solid. But with one night stands I can't seem to get my Willy to go in her wonka.

tony18215 · 2017-05-08T23:27:30+00:00

I have this similar issue sometimes...Like I cant get hard cuz i have no emotional attachment to them or hardly know their name.One time this good looking chick was grinding on me and she told me she wanted to make me hard but I just couldnt.. I have used Viagra a few times. Another thing the helps me if they have a big ass and they let me grab it and play with it a little,cuz that can get me going cuz I love a big ass.But yeah it sucks.

Liquorpuki · 2017-05-09T00:41:54+00:00

Yep... last weekend... the girl kept trying to tell me what to do and it took me out of the moment

Sometimes you feel obligated instead of being in the moment and it kills it. With a ONS, if the desire is gone, there's no attachment so it turns into work

I've found that with casual sex, you gotta be a little selfish. You and the girl are just using each others' bodies, nothing more. If both of you are selfish, that's when chemistry happens. If you go into it trying to think you're gonna be the best lover she ever had, that's when performance anxiety happens

Woujo · 2017-05-09T01:57:25+00:00

You were probably nervous. The dick is a shy organ. That's why being a pornstar is actually a hard job - not a lot of guys can keep it up in front of a bunch of people.

but this really isn't a question for seddit. You may want to go on r/sex or ask a therapist.

TJ_Marston · 2017-05-09T09:01:37+00:00

Have had the exact same issue with attractive ONS for years, and not with girlfriends. I believe the reasons were that 1) I had consumed too much alcohol 2) Wasn't relaxed enough/performance anxiety 3) Didn't really find the girl emotionally attractive though she was hot 4) Didn't know what actually turns me on.

Point 1) is easy to control.

Points 2) and 3) have more to do with how you feel about yourself both physically and emotionally, if you are comfortable with your new acquaintance and if how you two get along. My trick is to stay in shape physically. I cannot advice on mental health other than sticking to hobbies and sports that you enjoy doing independent of a partner. Now that I'm 30, I'm more aware of which girls I find attractive, and it's not always the best looking girl in the room. Humor, intellect, and how well you communicate will affect how comfortable you will feel in bed together. A noisy club might not be the best place to find this person, but a good place to take her to shortly after you've found her.

Point 4) is very individual. Here is how I did: I thought a lot about a failed ONS with a really good looking girl. I was drunk, but could still partially get it up a few times. What made my dick wake up? It was from watching her face and listening to her moans as I went down on her and using my hands. Those are still the strongest impressions I have from that night. So ever since, that is what I do to get it up. Still, however, I keep losing erection first time with a new partner once I slip the condom on. But instead of freaking out like I used to, I just go down on her (again) until I get it back up. It only takes a few minutes and I haven't received any complaints.

circlhat · 2017-05-09T12:39:26+00:00

Hear me out, it may not be anxiety, There was a study done that men were magically cured of ED when presented with attractive women instead of their wives.

Point is society seem to think male sexuality is simply for the pleasure of women, and if you can't get it up their is some flaw with you because every women is beatiful.

Male sexuality is just as complex as females and some guys don't value sex as much as we are taught, there are very few women who I would have a one night stand with because sex is just not that important, 30-40 minutes of pleasure vs playing world of Warcraft, I learned that I prefer world of Warcraft.

Who she is as a person matters, Guys seem to think as long as a girl is hot then they can get it up, as I have gotten older I realize I value what is in the inside a lot more than I thought.

With that being side don't blame her or be mean , just say you aren't in the mood.

letsgetrandy · 2017-05-08T21:14:40+00:00

Could be performance anxiety. Could also be drugs. Or could be that you're just not actually attracted to the people you brought home the last couple of nights.

paladin400 · 2017-05-08T23:18:26+00:00

Were they hot?

MonkeyFist4150 · 2017-05-08T23:51:01+00:00

Don't masturbate so much, mr winky gets tired if you use him too often and he's not available in a pinch.

amanadafrmcanada · 2017-05-09T09:25:18+00:00

Just to be safe, perhaps get tested for diabetes.

Yeanucca · 2017-05-09T16:19:56+00:00

It's your mind telling you don't stick your dick in (potentially) crazy

Mushiin · 2017-05-09T20:21:35+00:00

This is pure case of PIED aka Porn Indused Erectyle Dysfunction, if you want to have a normal sex life i suggest doing nofap for atleast 90 days, you can read more on r/nofap and the nofap website.

Trust me you will not get 90 days with your first try, and then you will call it bullshit and still have problems in bed.

Stage 1 of nofap is denial so stop denying it and good luck! o/

Title	One Night Stands
Author	RisingLaOS
Upvotes	6
Comments	24
Date	May 8, 2017 9:13 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6a0zqk/one_night_stands/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/one-night-stands.1424453 https://theredarchive.com/post/1424453

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