So this girl in my class one day or if nowhere invited me to sit with her, and I liked her at the time and sat with her and some of her friends.

There was this other girl I liked, but I hadn't talked to her much at that point, and a while after, I went to six flags with both of them and three other of her friends, and a few of mine.

Fast forward to today, she invited me to go bowling and it was her and two other girls, the other one I liked but had a boyfriend and another one that was just kinda loud and obnoxious. But getting there and realizing I'm the only guy, I feel kinda... weird. I don't want to be in this place.

I do like hanging out with this girl, and she's only the first out of third or technically fourth I'm into, but I don't want to be her not gay "gay best friend", either. Plus, I've been asked a few times by various people if I was gay, and one girl said it was because I was considerate? Like she even used my leaning forward to hear her as an example.

I'm starting to see a certain image of myself and I don't like it. I tried to get myself used to being loud because I'm very soft spoken apparently and speak monotonous, but all I accomplished was making my throat inflamed and getting a throat cold.

Does me being invited mean she sees me as "harmless", or does she just like being around me and not have any guy friends? And how can I fucking speak up without getting out of breath or having my voice crack? And also what exactly could it be that's made people surprised I wasn't gay?