Successful Date but no escalation

Back2theCouture · 2026-02-16T12:56:46+00:00

What I always do whenever I hang out with a girl, I hold her hand while we walk. Or if we pick something we wanna buy off the selves, I put my hand on her shoulder or waist. Just small escalations here and there. They don’t mind when I do that. 9 out of 10 they even reciprocate by putting their head on my chest, giving me a hug, or also putting their hand on my waist, that leads on casually kissing in public on 2nd or 3rd meet, and french kiss privately in the car, or in her/my place.

But there’s this one girl who threw me a shit test by asking me out of nowhere “why are you holding my hand? I’m not your girl.” I simply said “I do this with all my girl friends, not just you.” Later in the day she told me to not do that with other girls, only do that with her lol.

A kiss is a major escalation that you shouldn’t do if you don’t do any small verbal or physical escalation prior to that. Most guys think that a goodbye should end with a kiss because that’s what they watch on movies. But that’s just far from reality.

Fabulous-Designer626 · 2026-02-16T11:02:36+00:00

Not all first dates lead to a kiss. Plan a second date. But you have to kiss her

norwegiandoggo · 2026-02-16T11:23:48+00:00

Depends on the girl. ask her out on a second date and see if she still wants to meet

Klutzy-Painting885 · 2026-02-17T00:00:07+00:00

You’ll only know once you’re on the second date ha ha

TMGP19 · 2026-02-16T20:44:39+00:00

Food on first date is the first mistake. Save the kiss for a second date lay but you must initiate touch and some slight kino on a first date. Preferably bar/coffee shop where you can sit right next to her.

plz_callme_swarley · 2026-02-16T17:15:22+00:00

you need to setup better first dates. if you do this then you'll set up the conditions so that you can escalate properly and push for the kiss at the end of the date.

First dates needs to be drinks at a night, on a weekday period, no excuses. Needs to be late enough that it's dark outside. it needs to feel like a date 100%.
get there early, scope it out, find a good spot for y'all to sit, ideally a booth or couch where you can sit next to each other NEVER FACE TO FACE, this isn't an interview
during the first drink lean towards her, play footsy, touch her arm/leg when you make a joke, etc
after one drink, ask her how she's feeling if she wants to grab a second drink at this other cool place around the corner. If she says yes, you know she's still interested and now you're really on the second date
on the walk to the second place hold the door, guide her through it, touch the small of her back, maybe hold her hand, etc
second bar immediately shifts the vibe, start being more real, talk about sexual things, other topics like drugs, regrets, past relationships, etc. stuff you wouldn't say in an interview or a chat with the boys.
after the second place again check in with her, "how you feeling? what time is it?" depending on the time and what day it is you could even hit a third spot for another drink or ice cream or even back to yours if shes really feeling you.
after you leave the 2nd spot you should be there at this point or else she hates you. hold hands, walk slow, take the long way, a bit further away from other people. then you go for the kiss.

Women don't want, they NEED men to escalate physically so they can gut check with themselves how much they like you. every little bit of escalation allows her to test her own attraction to you and also determine if she's willing to let you further into her orbit.

Guys don't realize that when girls send you the "enjoyed meeting you but don't really sense a romantic connection." that is 100% on YOU! Girls don't understand that if a guy asks a girl on a date he wants to fuck her. She thinks that if you're not escalating physically that you must just want to be friends, or you don't like her enough, or you're just a pussy who's going to waste her time while she gets emotionally invested.

Broad-Cranberry-9050 · 2026-02-19T00:14:47+00:00

I dont think she thinks your a pussy but it's a learning experince. On dates you hvae to try to create physical contact and as long as it's not rejected you slowly go further. The second it's rejected then you stop doing it and respect her space.

If you get a lot of physical contact then you go ofr the kiss at end of date.

If you arent sure if there was enough physical contact then something i like to do is just ask. The way you ask is very important. You can't just go "cna i kiss you?" that shows nerves. For me i ask in a leading but also letting her know it's her choice and it wont make or break me. So ill go "so should we get this first kiss out the way?"

Sometimes they say no, that's cool, sometimes they say yes. Usually i do the quesiton if im just not sure if the vibe is there, if she is feeling it. Sometimes ive kissed girls and they didnt want a second date and i kind of knew that before the kiss. It's more of a last ditch effort like "let's confirm if the chemistry really isnt there". Well at least i got away iwth a kiss.

BurnItDownSR · 2026-02-17T08:00:55+00:00

If there was no escalation then it wasn't a successful date.

Title	Successful Date but no escalation
Author	Zorturan
Upvotes	13
Comments	14
Date	February 16, 2026 10:51 AM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1r66j2j/successful_date_but_no_escalation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/successful-date-but-no-escalation.1573606 https://theredarchive.com/post/1573606

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