Please. I Need Advice

ChaosApollo · 2015-11-24T17:22:41+00:00

The thing about seducing girls is that you're always going to be a creep to someone. This happens to everyone, ugly handsome smart stupid rich poor, there's aways gonna be someone who wants you to get the fuck out of their space. Even if you're a celebrity, there's someone who's either not going to know who you are, or just dislike you because you are famous and will want you to go piss off.

So don't worry about being a creep or trying to do everything right, because no matter what you do theres gonna be someone who wants you to fuck off. BUT, the only way you can find people who enjoy your company and are attracted to you is to talk to MANY girls, success in numbers, my friend. Who cares if some people don't like you, there are 7 billion people in the world not everyone can like you, and those that don't are a waste of your time anyway.

Talk to as many people as possible, make some friends and they'll introduce you to new people, who just might happen to be your first kiss/fuck or they could be someone who doesn't want anything to do with you. That's the beauty of it! There's no way you can change their mind about you! However, you can weigh the odds in your favor by working out, having a good posture, making good conversation but there will always be someone who wants you to go fuck yourself. Once you start talking to people you can be more comfortable and say the things you want to say (Youtube channel Simple Pickup is a great example).

Try to have an attitude of I DON'T GIVE A FUCK what you think, this is me, take it or leave it. Don't seek their approval or they won't want to seek yours (because they think they already have it and they don't need to work to be at your level).

TheXXL · 2015-11-24T18:37:40+00:00

I'm so fucking sick of this. M20 almost 21. Never been laid, never even kissed a girl. I need this to change.

Don´t sweat it, 21 is no age where you would say "it will never happen" or "i cannot change myself to be better".

I've been on two dates in my life. Both in the past year. I'm so tired of not being able to act on my feelings, or express interest in a girl without feeling like a creep and becoming awkward.

Why do you feel like a creep, or awkward?

I am usually a pretty fun and laid back person, and I can even joke with girls who are friends without being weird.

This is because you trust them, they would never say something to you that would hurt you.

I just can't get any farther. My second date which happened about a month ago ended in me just awkwardly saying goodnight.

What is so awkward with saying "Good night"?

I couldn't figure out how to escalate things any farther,

Well, look into the vin dicarlo escalation ladder, google it.

or if she wanted me to go in for the kiss,

no no no... It is not about if she wanted it, though she will not tell you, it is about if YOU want it. And i guess you wanted, but you were scared, this was the problem.

so j just didn't. I just left like a pathetic coward with no skills with girls, which I am. I need this to change.

Good, you start reflecting yourself, this is necessary to become better.

The worst part is that other parts of my life are going well. I'm fairly happy, have a lot of income... Etc. This contentedness leads to me doing nothing about my situation with girls. I just end up lonely and feeling like a huge part of my life is missing.

No no no... this is not the worst part. Be happy for this. You probably earned it, as long as you are not from a wealthy family where you only have to exist to get all the good stuff, you fucking earned it.

So, basically you think you should be more successful with women, since all the other guys out there are drowning in pussy, right? Wrong. For most guys it is incredibly hard to be successful with women, since they speak a different language, and our fucked up society has teached us to be more nice to women, to hold the door open, read all her wishes off of her eyes, give her everything she wants, hell... even we have to die for her! And here is the catch: IT. DOES. NOT. WORK.

So my advice to you is the following: Be consciuous about what you have done in your life, what you have worked hard for and therefore earned. That will be the main source for your confidence. Then put in all the things that make you the person your friends love. This is you. This is the person that is attractive. Then, own it. Then next step, don´t give a fuck what other people think about you. It does not matter shit. Do what you want, but don´t hurt other people, just saying. Don´t become an asshole, but be determined. Then, the last thing you have to do is: Fail. If you go out, talk to girls, and feel awkward. Fail with all you do, just to get used to the fact that fail is a part of life, and in most cases does not hurt. Reflect on what you did, make a plan not to make those mistakes again, and you will see, over time you will get better.

Dont give up just because it is hard, and if you have a date, and you think about kissing her, fuck it. Kiss her. You have no experience? fuck it... you will never get experience if you don´t start. You are scared that she rejects you? hahaha I have lost count on all the rejections i have been through in my life. I still get rejected regularly, so what? You are scared that she calls you out on not being good? so what? If that pisses you off, leave and go for the next girl. There are billions of women on this planet, so don´t sweat it.

gramsespektrum · 2015-11-25T03:09:19+00:00

Alright OP, you haven't kissed any girls and you're unhappy with this and want to change. That's great. You know all those succesful men you see, walking down the street holding hands with a pretty girl? They used to be like you. But they did something and it changed. I promise you. I used to be in your situation but now I'm not.

Start working on yourself. Take your school/education/job/whatever seriously. Find out how you enjoy spending your time. Personally, I found out I enjoy playing chess and debating/writing about politics. But that's me.

Exercise. Get in shape. It's healthy, it's wise, it'll make you feel happier, it'll help your confidence, it will make you more attractive to girls. Dress well, smell nice, take care of yourself and how you look. Have fun. When you're not working, don't waste your free time. Do something with your free time. Alone or with others.

You want to hook up with a pretty girl right? Well, pretty girls don't want to sit at home alone watching TV. They want to hook up with attractive men. I'm not only talking about looks here. Men with attractive personalities.

If you find a girl you want to talk to - do it. It might seem scary at first, but it's no scarier than talking to your male friends. They're just people. Start a conversation the same way you would with anyone else. See what happens. Take it as it comes.

If a girl doesn't want you, you'll survive. You don't die because she doesn't want to hook up with you. You're supposed to want her, not need her. Girls are attracted to men who are fine without them. It's nice to feel wanted, it sucks to feel needed.

That's a crucial point.

One thing though: Girls expect you to show initiative because they don't want to take the responsibility. Girls are not as confident as they want you to be. In the end you have to take their hand, look them in the eyes and lean in for the kiss.

If you make a move on a girl who isn't interested, it's ok. As long as you're a gentleman and respect her rejection, she'll actually be happy. She's happy because she wants to be attractive and she wants men to want her. Just don't go down the dark path of not respecting the word no. That path is only for needy men and rapists. Never go there.

Girls will forgive you for being too aggressive. They will not forgive you for being too timid/scared/nervous. So don't worry and just do it.

If you want to ask follow-up questions, feel free.

identity-classified · 2015-11-24T18:29:28+00:00

Did you had body contact during the dates? A little touch here and there, and if things go well, maybe a little holding hands, and from there on, is just letting things escalate normally. One thing very important is for you to have body contact, and let her fell comfortable with you.

thebigfatgreek · 2015-11-25T06:06:18+00:00

Hey man if you're fairly happy with a lot of income you're fucking golden. Hit the gym. And go out constantly. With friends, without. It doesn't matter. Just make it a part of your life. Talk to women constantly without putting pressure on yourself. The old lady at the drive thru, the pretty girl pouring coffee, the mom waiting for the walk signal. Talk to as many women as possible. Eventually you'll realize it's no big deal. You're not pathetic, or a coward. I'm rooting for you brother.

ImNotLysdexic · 2015-11-24T22:55:34+00:00

Hey man, I was in a similar pinch. Didn't get my first kiss until 20 (a few months ago, I'm 21 now). I had the same fears as you. I had been to three or four dates total, all of them in the last two months.

I got flaked on a third time by the same girl and that pushed me over the edge to change (it pissed me off and made me upset). For several days of the week I went out and talked to random girls on campus I found attractive. I would start simple by locking eyes and smiling, then complementing.

I then worked on destroying my ego and facing public awkwardness/ humiliation by singing like shit in front of them. I would awkwardly hug people, make eye contact for at least five seconds, tell them lame jokes, etc.

It got massively fun, friends joined in, and I started day gaming like it was nothing. I got four numbers one day, and two of which were friends that met later in the day and told me about it.

Check my previous two posts on here if you want the full story.

unorthodoxintrovert · 2015-11-25T00:06:47+00:00

Dude. I was in your same shoes. Are you working on this area of your life harder than the guy next you? If not, then maybe you're not sick of it enough. I hit that point when i was your age too. Busted ass for 4 years. Now I can honestly say I'm in a state of abundance.

Becauseimbatman0547 · 2015-11-25T03:49:30+00:00

Damn dude I was almost exactly the same way. No joke lost my Vcard at 21, who social anxiety thing. Never knew what to do at parties, etc etc etc

If I could go back I would tell 20 year old me to go to the swing/salsa dancing things so much earlier.

First off. It's like the inverse of a LAN party. Women outnumber men at every one I've been to.

Second, make it clear that you suck and you don't know how to dance. They'll teach you. And enjoy it.

Third, it puts you in intimate distance and you get over your anxiety about close contact, you learn about things women care about and so forth.

Fourth YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO BE GOOD. You just have to pick up enough to do the basic steps. At parties when people dance/bumpngrind if you do one twirl move, you steal the show.

That and they are cougar hunting grounds. Which is hilarious in its own right

suppermick · 2015-11-25T05:11:00+00:00

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Title	Please. I Need Advice
Author	ThrowFarRunAway
Upvotes	23
Comments	13
Date	November 24, 2015 4:59 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3u3iwd/please_i_need_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/please-i-need-advice.1398093 https://theredarchive.com/post/1398093

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