realistic expectations

HomelessMilkman · 2024-09-14T07:47:13+00:00

I would say I’m a 6 and I approach 8 and above

Fuck this shit. I don't care who you are, what you look like, what car you drive, whatever. What's 'realistic' is that you attract your equal.

You have to believe in yourself. Look, it's cool to care about your appearance and whatever but in the interaction you have to forget about it any way. You shouldn't be thinking twice. If you're in comparison and competitiveness, you're coming from a low self-esteem, low status position to start with.

You have to understand that value of being 'normal'. I mean, no one is acting 'normal' which is the point. People get into situations they feel are 'out of their depth' and freak out; they start people pleasing, twitching, freeze, they become tense, their voice can't project, they can't hold eye contact, etc. In other words, low self-esteem, low status behaviour.

Being comfortable and relaxed is enough to communicate that you believe 'you're enough'. People become 'locked' into their 'social ranking' because you try to 'move up' and in doing so believe you have to try harder (while reaffirming that you're not of that 'rank').

As long as you think there's a gap, you're going to be communicating that and those things define how attractive you are. You have to understand that if you believed you were high status, people would see you as cool and want to be more like you. It's frame control. It's marketing. You have to market yourself (through your emotional health) that whatever you do is right.

I don't want to make this post too long. The point is that you have to learn to relax, release and accept yourself. External feedback is relative to how you view yourself; don't mess with the mirror, change how you feel in these situations. There's a point to be made that 'if you view it as no big deal and then you get it, what's the point?' but you can address that when you get there.

Wing_Inevitable · 2024-09-14T06:04:39+00:00

realistic expectations

Depending in starting point between 2-10% of girls you number close.

This is a weirdly specific post, but bear with me.

I like weirdly specific post. Though by the length of this I doubt it is that specific.

Edit: It was extremely vague.

I’m an average looking guy, 5’11 and I’m an Asian, I’m currently in a growing out my hair phase so I would say I might look worse than usual, but there are seasons where I feel confident because I look decent.

Irrelevant information - I can’t help you with any of this so it is useless to put it in.

Maybe the Asian part - If I presume stereotypes.

Your behavioural patterns are way more useful as info goes.

Another important thing is I’m an international student in college, and being here for two years kinda changed my attraction towards White girls (considering that’s 80% of the girls in my college)

Ok white girls - means nothing I have to stereotype them too.

So I’ve been starting to work on my inner game and to just approach girls on campus and talk to them.

Inner game is a 20 min - thing unless you have serious mental problems.

Just accept “you are the best thing in the world for any woman” and “Don’t give a shit”

Other than that a fine start.

Now tell me what are you actually doing?

Cuz I’m guessing you are just opening and praying to god.

I’ve had a few instagrams, most people I talked to have a boyfriend, too young for me, or just straight up ignore me.

By this the only thing I get (and that is only because I know what BF and ignore mean) means you are purely relying on looks.

But it doesn’t matter since none of them actually turn into dates.

Expected.

You are relying on luck so 2% is the max you can hope for.

but my question is am I being realistic with my expectations?

What are they ?

Am I shooting too high? (I don’t like to rate people but if I had too I would say I’m a 6 and I approach 8 and above; and culturally I understand White girls might just not like Asians)

No shoot for what you want.

You will get the same rate with lower numbered girls. You are purely relying on luck.

So I just needed some advice and help, thank you guys

Get a clue as to what you are doing.

Probably anything would increase results. Literary anything.

DaygameCode · 2024-09-14T02:41:59+00:00

When you don’t get the results you want, the first thing you need to ask yourself is, what is it that i don’t know yet, what is that i have to learn, what is it that i can improve, and what is it that I could do differently than how i usually do it.

This is how you start the self-reflection process which requires being self-critical in a constructive way by analysing as much detail as possible from your interactions with women.

Because men tend to overlook very often how bad their approach with women actually is, they underestimate the impact of body language, or the impact of the social context, the words they use to choose which could trigger defensive responsive from women that could have been avoided, etc.

If you get the “i have a boyfriend” line too often… more often than not, you are doing something bad in your interaction. But first you need to actually break down your interactions as much as possible to figure out where your mistakes are.

Western-Month-3877 · 2024-09-14T10:35:41+00:00

You asked a wrong question. There is no “shooting too high or too low”. Especially nowadays when many women think they’re like 2-3 points above the reality or hoflation as some guys call it. Just learn how to approach better.

DaHouseSomalian · 2024-09-14T11:10:47+00:00

Do you look like a typical nerdy/dorky Asian guy with a pocket calculator?

Dandys3107 · 2024-09-14T13:39:41+00:00

Guys may have plenty of other sexually attractive traits than just appearance and first impression, if only you can work your way towards showing them. Generally you should feel good about yourself and worthy of affection, otherwise you may subconsciously self-sabotage yourself and you won't be able to elevate the mood and mutual dynamics. And women are very good at sensing insecurity, which is obviously not a trait of her dreamed sexual partner. Keep working on your attrative traits and maybe reevaluate your mindset, I guess you may hold some downgrading unconstructive patterns from your upbringing. It may be also a thing of incompatible dating environment, if you can get some opportunities elsewhere it may shed some more light about your issues.

MrPound4Pound · 2024-09-14T16:20:33+00:00

"culturally I understand White girls might just not like Asians" All my girlfriends in my life have been white chicks. Majority of the women who have ever shown me attraction signals and IOIs have been white chicks as an Asian man myself. The last women who approached me at the club was a white chick lol. The last woman who wanted me to approach her was a white chick. I don't let my ethnicity stop me from approaching any chick. My mindset is if I see a chick I like, I just approach.

Affectionate-Ant4888 · 2024-09-14T02:26:13+00:00

you are asian for 2 years in the states?, how is your english?, maybe that is a reason, keep practicing, but also polish your english, do things for you but every chance you get talk with girls, join clubs to practice, a reding club or something like that.

altnumber12341444 · 2024-09-14T07:35:36+00:00

Bro NEVER say you are 5'11 you are 6ft REMEMBER!

Title	realistic expectations
Author	limjl3657
Upvotes	5
Comments	19
Date	September 14, 2024 2:13 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1fgbtkb/realistic_expectations/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/realistic-expectations.1530216 https://theredarchive.com/post/1530216

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