I just want to confess seddit something. This saturday I wanted to write an ordinary "Grow a pair" motivational post for you guys, trying to give back something, because after a short lurking, I approached a red-haired girl at our school that day (that's a big deal to me - my big excuse was always that I don't wanna act PUA in my hometown). I felt so confident and shit. The conversation was SUPER AWKWARD. I could hardly understood what she said (she was quiet as hell, shyness), and I tried to keep the nowhere-going convo alive by stupid remarks. After some awkward smalltalk I left her there. She added me on facebook (and gave tons of IOIs on her wall), etc etc. chatting there, almost the same thing, but now less awkward. She came from the nearby town to my town, so I told her to meet up.

This meetup taught me something: I have a lot to learn - I felt like a complete pussy. I knew that I should touch her or at least escalate verbally or shit, but my mind denied every idea. I pussed out completely, a hug or just a kiss on the cheek were just completely out of the question. Touching somebody I just hardly know is feeling so damn unnatural and uncomfortable - and I learned from you guys it is NOT, but my 'subsconcious' doesn't wanna agree with you.

So I'm here and feel like a lame fucktard. I planned this summer to make myself a lot of blowouts to get habited, and be less socially "stupid". I hope I can do it, without pussing that out too. Is it a good idea?

Soooo, FML. Yup, and currently IDK what should I do with this girl.

tl;drapproached and met a girl, didn't touch or escalate, felt like an idiot, feel like a shit aaand idiot.

Sorry for the negative thoughts guys, I just wanted to write it down.