'Regular dates' always bust for me (36M), better luck with aiming for hookups. Anyone else having this issue?

manonpoint_com · 2019-11-20T00:06:50+00:00

You should rarely ever take it slow. It's better to sleep with them and then get to know them deeper than to play it slow on a date, as you are figuring out. You don't have to sleep with them if you don't feel comfortable by the way, but you should try to build that level of attraction and comfort to where you could sleep with them if you wanted to.

blackberrydoughnuts · 2019-11-20T00:26:05+00:00

This is exactly my experience as well. When I look for relationships I get nothing. When I look for hookups I get relationships. All my relationships started with sex. It's just how women are.

Sex bonds people and creates relationships. Taking it slow pushes women away. They think you don't like them.

goes against what most women say they want

Pay attention to what they do, not what they say. People don't know themselves that well.

As someone else on that other sub I just got banned from said, you're turning down your sexuality too much. We talk a lot about needing both attraction and comfort - you're getting the results you're getting because you just have comfort and aren't building enough attraction.

The meaningful stuff comes with time. To get there, you have to start with sex.

When you say you got the hang of seducing over time - what things did you do to build attraction? Flirting, teasing, touching? Can you include that into your slower dates?

Sweetdreams18 · 2019-11-20T04:50:48+00:00

Dude, we don‘t really know you or see you so we cant tell what you are doing wrong, but I‘ll tell you something, I had a friend who lived in Berlin and he had the same experience as you, he was longing for LTRs but had no problem finding short term relationships. I think it has all to do with your vibe, if you show a needy vibe you‘ll scare people in general so if you put it all serious as in let‘s date and sign a contract so I can stop feel lonely, it‘s obvious it won‘t work. Maybe you should first work on those issues by finding social circles you fit in, and parallely keep sleeping and meeting girls without forcing things too much. If you aren‘t having problems with one night stands you already have an advantage over the majority of population

RaptorMan333 · 2019-11-20T00:30:32+00:00

Honestly sometimes i think the world/culture has really changed. People don't feel the same way about monogamy and long term relationships. Maybe they've just woken up. They like to blame the "hookup culture" and higher divorce rates on kids/teens/partying, but maybe we're just evolving as a culture and realizing it's not usually healthy mentally or physically to be with one person the rest of your life, and i think women are realizing this too. Women have always really responded to sexuality, dominance, power, blah, blah, blah, and have traditionally only really responded to things like stability, financial wealth, comfort/caring, reliability, someone who is good with kids, etc for those they want to be the "provider" rather than "lover" (while either getting the lover side fulfilled by this provider but often simply fucking someone else outside of it to get that component). Now that less women are even seeking out LTRs to begin with, it's not surprising that they are really reverting back to the "lover" thing even more and that these more sexual "pickup" type attributes are even more important. Not to mention that true, deep masculinity is quickly becoming lost.

I think there is a small amount of people who are happy with relationships and the rest of them either trick themselves into it, or are just too low value to attract another attractive person, and worry that they will lose the person, so they "lock" them in. Yes this is cynical, but those are my thoughts.

In regards to your question, i mean i'm sure you realize that the skills required for "pickup" or "seduction" are universal in how women respond, whether they're looking for a LTR or not. Attraction is attraction and this shit is how you build attraction. They will still respond to them. You don't get a woman to want you just by being nice. Continue to be sexual and move fast. You should be able to gauge within an hour or two of meeting a girl whether you have a connection deeper than sex, and at that point you can continue to escalate to sex if you feel it and then you can gauge her based on the sexual connection AND make her respect you and more attracted for having the balls to make it happen. Or you can simply dip out before sex if she's not high value enough to date. A relationship can (and should) always start out with a sexual component and then transition to a LTR. You really want to wife up someone who you didn't have an instant and fantastic sexual connection with? Sex usually decreases in LTR over time and it's crucial you start out with a BIG BANG (haha).

YwUt_83RJF · 2019-11-20T05:23:50+00:00

It's fine to wait for the second date or later, but you better make sure she gets a little creamy on the first one.

Kviten004 · 2019-11-20T11:31:06+00:00

Todd V Free Program on youtube https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLKIaJfW2hUsxV_F0zdb-eF0YiK9SE-20L

boredatworkbored · 2019-11-20T12:06:29+00:00

[permanently deleted]

'Regular dates' always bust for me (36M), better luck with aiming for hookups. Anyone else having this issue?

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Title	'Regular dates' always bust for me (36M), better luck with aiming for hookups. Anyone else having this issue?
Author	boredatworkbored
Upvotes	6
Comments	13
Date	November 19, 2019 11:08 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/dyslzp/regular_dates_always_bust_for_me_36m_better_luck/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/regular-dates-always-bust-for-me-36m-better-luck.1484226 https://theredarchive.com/post/1484226