rejected twice tonight . how do I not take it personally?

Going_to_hell123 · 2022-08-10T08:35:04+00:00

The thing you have to remember, especially in bar/club environments, is that it's completely arbitrary. Some women will find you attractive and some won't. Those kinds of places are in no way a reflection of whether or not you're desirable. I know that's easy for me to say but I think the best way to get over rejection is to spend a few nights talking to as many girls as you can, if you get rejected, immediately move to another one. It'll teach you that these conversations are worthless, they don't fucking matter lmao. So you shouldn't get worked up if they don't lead to where you were hoping they would

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-08-10T10:19:35+00:00

You are taking it personally because you are desperate for external sources of validation.

You lack self-esteem meaning that you don’t value yourself, which is why instead you want others to value you in order to feel worthy, and if you can’t get that then you get depressed.

Part of being good with girls is to be willing to be rejected over and over and over and over on and on and on… And learning to not based your self perception of your own value on their rejections or their validation.

Because if you feel better about yourself when they validate you and accept you, you are still in the same problematic situation, which is that confidence is still relying on other people, rather than on yourself.

Why is that a problem?

Because sure if you get accepted by a girl, you feel an emotional rush of dopamine in that moment, you feel great about yourself.

But that feeling is temporary and doesn’t last long.

As soon as a few days pass by, and you are not getting more validation from this girl or other girls, you feel bad about yourself yet again.

That makes you dependant and needy for girls validation. which in turn makes you more unattractive for girls, and thus drives them away, which further fuels your insecurity and your neediness even more in a vicious circle of constant rejection and constant insecurity.

In order to escape that vicious circle of self-destruction. You need to grow your self-esteem which relies on your own validation that you give yourself regardless if others don’t validate you.

Basically changing your mindset about what’s important, whose opinions matters most, other peoples or yours, valuing those things about yourself that you are overlooking or underestimating, and seeking to set goals within your reach that make you proud when you achieve them.

Reasonable_Ad_6626 · 2022-08-11T01:51:49+00:00

She texted you first...she set the date...😬

Of course she's uninterested now , you're forcing her to be a man and chase you like you're the woman.

So you finally got her number and then fucked it up by being lazy.

2nd one just wanted free drinks. Nothing personal.

burakbenxd · 2022-08-10T17:05:41+00:00

I met the girl I'm casually seeing at a Bar.. I've been rejected a plethora of times.. Once it happens enough you start not to care lol.

Funny enough, I'm not a bad looking guy, and I went up to a group of girls. One of the girls was this obese mammoth. I told the obese mammoth's friend I can take a picture for you guys :). The obese mammoth goes, "IM MARRIED!" and I'm like "okay cool no one asked" and go back to her friend lol. So you see it happens, but don't pay to much attention lol

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-08-10T11:41:46+00:00

It sounds like you have low self esteem and confidence.

AloofusMaximus · 2022-08-10T14:47:38+00:00

When she pulled away from them, I asked to buy her a drink, she said yes, then proceeded to act like I didn't exist. So I left.

Yeah don't do that. Buying women drinks is only throwing money away.

So you're taking rejection personally, you have to learn not to do that. She wasn't rejecting you, she was rejecting your clumsy approach or open. She was rejecting your lame haircut or shirt. She was rejecting ANY guy because she has a guy. See there's a million reasons for her to say no, that don't have to do with you as a person.

That's called reframing, and you can do it with a lot of situations in life.

Title	rejected twice tonight . how do I not take it personally?
Author	Specialist-Ad-7800
Upvotes	3
Comments	17
Date	August 10, 2022 8:07 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/wkrpgw/rejected_twice_tonight_how_do_i_not_take_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/rejected-twice-tonight-how-do-i-not-take-it.1252427 https://theredarchive.com/post/1252427

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