Seddit, it's time for an Intervention

codewizbambam · 2018-12-18T08:35:24+00:00

Ahm it's actually a good piece of Advice, but only after you understood really a lot about all this. So basically, for the time being, you can just not give a sh*t about it, and jump on all the material.

One_Insanity · 2018-12-18T13:18:50+00:00

You're right and wrong at the same time.

Yes, "just be yourself" is not the best piece of advice because there is a lot of subtext and a lot of hidden meaning behind it.

At its core it's very true though. Be yourself just really means that you stay true to yourself. Don't pretend to be someone you're not. Don't put on an act.

But this gets easily twisted and mangled into excuses. "I'm just not a stud." or any kind of sentiment similar in nature. Be yourself is not carte blanche to be a loser. To use the advice effectively, you need to know WHO you are. What you really like, what you think about the world and all that and what you're like as an individual.

Being yourself is all about knowing yourself and staying true to your person. But it requires the mandatory sentiment of "be your best version". Be stronger, be sexier, be more confident, be more charming, be smarter, be more calibrated, be more social and all that good stuff.

If you're not a loud party animal then don't try to act like one. That's a valid example of be yourself. If you're not good with women then don't try because that's not you. That's an invalid example. In fact, it's downright wrong and negative.

Basically be yourself is all about staying true to your beliefs, thresholds and personality. It's not about be what you are no matter what it is. Be yourself tackles the intangibles, the non quantifiable elements of what you are. The more practical advice is "become the best version of yourself" which is mentioned above. Bigger, better and badder.

recyclablebanthas · 2018-12-18T14:40:42+00:00

1

This is for those of you that like to say 'Just be yourself'......It's useless advice.

No, it's INCOMPLETE advice. There's a difference. It's not "just be yourself." You're absolutely right, this is low effort, cliche, etc.

Something more like, striving to be the best version of yourself. Or learning to understand your own worth and strengths.

Or figure out who you are and fucking own it. (DGAF attitude, etc.)

It boils down to getting rid of barriers in your own brain (set neural pathways that can be shifted), etc., so that you can "be yourself," or a "better version of yourself," anyway.

The problem is that it's not actionable, anymore than, "Be confident," is. It doesn't change the fact that being confident is important, or that learning to be a better version of yourself is valuable.

It just means that the phrase, "just be yourself," does not carry with it, action points that help one achieve it.

2

I'm gonna get hate, but i don't care.

Naw. A lot of guys here agree that giving incomplete advice like that is lame.

3

People join the seddit/PUA world because they think that being themselves is the problem. They think that they need a new approach.

It's a bit of a Catch 22. Guys come here to change themselves, realizing that they need to change something, but then they end up thinking that there's something at their core that needs changing.

They often take their attempts to change TOO FAR and end up trying to be something they're not, just to get laid, etc.

Which sadly, works. A little too well sometimes. But then your "success" hinges on not being yourself, which leads to bad things later on down the line unless they guy catches it and course corrects.

mseand · 2018-12-18T18:04:27+00:00

A better phrase would be: be congruent with the person you are trying to portray

tobywhite_tna · 2018-12-19T00:09:21+00:00

I created a post about 3 Harsh Truths - and one of them I'm talking about this exact thing you're looking for:

Trying to game with their current "self"

Your current identity and your paradigm - who you think you are, your beliefs, your thoughts, your worldview and how you perceive things

Sorry to break this to you but who you are at this moment, you will NEVER be good at game

Until you let go of your identity to evolve into a new one

The more you hold onto your current self, the more you will NOT make it work

Pretty much everyone in the community emphasise on, "be yourself", "stay true to being you", "be authentic", "don't forget where you came from", "be your true self"

I said this before and I said this a million times:

If you're a beta male with a shitty life, with little to no friends and you hate yourself, then being your true self will never work

The "self" is nothing but your collection of bullshit stories and beliefs you have from the past which DON'T matter in the now

By defining who you are, you automatically define who you are NOT

Let's say you're a person that HATES cold approaches, by identifying "Cold approaching is not me", "cold approach is tough" or "cold approach won't work for me"

You shoot yourself in the foot because now you've just carved out an identity for yourself

And now you have a mental feedback loop of not being able to do cold approaches.

You have to think about who you want to become, write it down in words and get HIGH goals

Who do you want to become in 1, 3, 5 years?

And then do a shameless self-assessment about yourself - your thoughts, beliefs and habits etc

You'll find that who you are right now is in direct conflict of who you want to be

Until you let go of your current identity and be open to change and evolve, you'll never be good at game.

Instead, ask yourself everyday: Who am I becoming? (and not Who am I)

Bruce Lee hit the nail on the head with his famous quote:"You must be shapeless, formless, like water. When you pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you pour water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle. When you pour water in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can drip and it can crash. Become like water my friend"

You can shape and evolve yourself into whoever you want to be - it's just the matter of your decision

You cannot define who you are. You are not static and everything is forever evolving - instead, start defining who am I becoming?

You need to be ever changing, dynamic individual that can't be categorised or identified

Title	Seddit, it's time for an Intervention
Author	lazy784
Upvotes	0
Comments	8
Date	December 18, 2018 7:02 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/a78r9b/seddit_its_time_for_an_intervention/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/seddit-its-time-for-an-intervention.1306899 https://theredarchive.com/post/1306899

Comments

Trying to game with their current "self"